Donald Trump Will Build Wall on U.S.-Mexico Border with all the Money Mexicans Took from Him -Or Something

ttrumpMexico

Donald Trump’s latest Mexico rant is too stupid funny to be ignored.

“Mexico will not be taking advantage of us. They will not be having open borders. And the greatest builder is me. And I would build the greatest all you have ever seen. The greatest. And just to finish, you know who’s going to pay for the wall? Mexico. With all the money that they have taken from us.”

Via: Daily Mail

Hey, Gringo, Get Ready to Print your Own Cinco de Mayo Kit!

Let's print some guacamole containers, shall we?
Let’s print some guacamole containers, shall we?

Cinco de Mayo (aka this blogger’s favorite faux holiday) is just around the corner, and this year — with the explosion of Twitter, Snapchat, Periscope, Instagram and the like — the marketing furor promises to be crazier than ever before. Muy loco, indeed!

Stay tuned for this blog’s full “coverage” of this year’s non-Mexican holiday. In the meantime, take a look at this kit offered by Paper & Cake and start printing your own fiesta kit.

¡Ajúa!

Armed with a Good Pair of ‘Cojones,’ Jorge Ramos Asks Enrique Peña Nieto to Resign

RRamos

I know this video has been going around for several days now, and that many of you have already seen it, tweeted it, instagramed it, facebooked it, etc.

Still, this blog had to make sure this footage also lives here, not only for ‘posterity’ but as a daily reminder of what should be the duty of many of us: Make corrupt politicians accountable for their [disgusting] actions or, as Jorge Ramos contends, demand their resignation when necessary, which – of course – applies to this case. Absolutely.

At some point during this five-minute or so speech at a TIME Magazine gala honoring the Univision anchor he says:

In any other country, with a little bit of rule of law, the president would have been forced to resign. Guess what?

Wanna know “guess what?”….

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE ENTIRE VIDEO … I promise you, its almost as interesting as watching Jorge Ramos in Tanga.

Leave your comments below.

This Mexican Mayor Lifted a Woman’s Skirt in Public at a $1-Million Party, Because Mexico

mayor

Awwww Mexico…

The land of the collective smooch and the “coold cocnuts” is also the Global Headquarters of mustachioed, sombrero-clad disgusting politicians.

In the latest Kafkaesque episode of our never boring political telenovela, Mexican Mayor Hilario Ramírez Villanueva this week jumped to the spotlight after a video emerged showing the moment he whipped up the skirt of a young woman he was dancing with.

According to several reports, the footage was captured during the mayor’s lavish 44th birthday party for which he reportedly paid a whopping $1 million and which we can only assume featured plenty of booze, drugs and babes.

Ramírez Villanueva has shrugged off his critics and has denied spending that much on his birthday bash. He even asked [politely] Jorge Ramos to refrain from mentioning his mother –this, after the Univision anchor confronted the Mayor and asked him what he would think if someone did the same to his progenitor.

Screen Shot 2015-03-19 at 3.50.26 PM

Watch the interview below [in Spanish]:

 

This is the Only ’50 Shades of Grey’ Thing Worth Watching

50 Shades of Grey becomes 'Vieja lujuriosa' thanks to the always awesome Tres Tristes Tigres
’50 Shades of Grey’ becomes ‘Vieja lujuriosa’ thanks to the always awesome Tres Tristes Tigres. ¡Ajúa!

Thank God for Mexico’s Los Tres Tristes Tigres, who will always make the unbearable not only bearable but just awesome!

I’m sorry for the English-only crowd, the lyrics of this 50 Shades of Grey (aka Vieja Lujuriosa) are simply delicious.

Enjoy!

Poor Polar Bear Loses to Avocado in First Draft Ever

Polar1

Turns out Ecuador isn’t the only Latin American country using the Super Bowl as platform to pitch its wonders. Mexico is doing a similar effort with its first Super Bowl ad ever, an adorable spot pitching –what else?– avocados. Because, let’s be honest, which American in his/her right mind would spend a Super Bowl Sunday without guacamole?

However, it looks like America’s love for avocados is not limited to big NFL events. In January 2014 alone, Americans reportedly ate 70 million pounds of avocados.

And that is a whole lot of guacamole!

via: Avocados from Mexico

See? Our ‘Abuela’ Doesn’t Always Come First

Move over, abuela, my Peña Nieto free Digital TV comes first.
“Move over, old bag!, our government-sanctioned, free Digital TV comes first.”

Defying all stereotypes about Latinos and our abuelas, this brave Mexican woman made her grannie take a walk, so she could properly accommodate on her wheelchair their brand new digital TV, a generous gift from the populist — and highly unpopular — government of Enrique Peña Nieto.

It’s official: Estamos jodidos, mexicanos.

Photo: via @AristeguiOnline.

My Office Welcomes Visitors with Mexican Christmas Flowers

Yes. That's a pool table back there...
Nochebuenas at the CBS Interactive offices in NYC. (Yeah, that’s a pool table in the background)

I know you were dying to know that Poinsettias (aka Euphorbia pulcherrima) are none other than the archfamous Mexican — and Central American — Christmas flowers better known as Nochebuenas or flores de pascua, which are not to be confused with these other delicious Nochebuenas.

The best part about Poinsettias?

Their English name derives from Joel Roberts Poinsett, the first United States Minister to Mexico, who introduced the plant into the United States in 1825.

Now you know.

Let’s drink to Joel Roberts Poinsett.

¡Salud!

The 'other' Nochebuena
The ‘other’ Nochebuena

This is What a Mexican Clinic Did to your Babies Born in 1974

'Fuimos cambiados al nacer'
Yes, this is an actual print promotion of the ‘Cambiados al nacer’ initiative

From the “Only in Mexico” and “Not The Onion” archives, comes Cambiados al nacer (Switched at Birth,) an initiative launched by a group of citizens in Toluca, Mexico, informing people born between July 23 and 24, 1974 that they might have been given to the wrong set of parents.

So far, the Facebook page of Cambiados al nacer has a mere 418 followers, but heck, they even got a story in a local newspaper, aptly titled: Se equivocó la cigüeña (The Stork Made a Mistake.)

I personally find this very amusing, mostly because I was not born in Toluca in 1974, but if you did, you should be worried. Very. Worried.

Hat tip: @Oscargutiez

 

Come to Mexico: We’ll Put you in a Nice Hotel, and have Indians Dance Around you

How nice! I can just lie down here, have a fruit salad and have Indians dance right in front of me

The latest campaign promoting Oaxaca’s famed Guelaguetza Dance Festival trumps over any other cringeworthy images depicting my country’s relationship with its Indians.

Watch as a light-skinned Mexican young lady strolls around Oaxaca (smartphone in tow) snapping pictures of affable, festive Indians dancing around her, even while she enjoys a refreshing beverage in the patio of her hotel.

"I can even have an Indian making me look pretty just like her!"
“I can even have an Indian making me look pretty just like her!”

I seriously thought at first this was a joke. Alas, it is not and the campaign is on the air an in full swing, as the Guelaguetza kicks off July 21.

via: Despertar de Oaxaca