The Heart-Shaped Sope Is Here and there’s Nothing We Can Do about it

Behold: The Heart-Shaped Sope

Saint Valentine’s is still a few days away, but corporate America is already at it making the case for heart-shaped things, no matter how ridiculous they get.

Enter the heart-shaped sope, which will be served by this Fresno taquería and will cost “only” $13.99 –with a drink included, of course.

But if BAE is not the sope type (I mean not all of us are) you might be interested in the “Valentaco Box” instead, which includes six tacos in a heart-shaped box for only $17.99! And if this still doesn’t seal the deal… How about a box of heart-shaped nachos?

What are you waiting for? Surprise your Valentine with a good dose of masa, beans and fresh nonsense!

A Portable Translator that Will Seduce Your Valentine Into Opening Her Legs, Ahem, Heart

You gotta love Spanish-language media. Not only you get to read stuff in your own language, but you are exposed to some marketing gems like this one found on today’s El Diario la Prensa, pitching the PartnerES900: A translation machine that will make your sweetheart “go into ecstasy” and have her open her … heart. (Click to enlarge.. the photo, just the photo.)

Here’s a taste of the precious text for the monolingual crowd:

“Give your partner the hottest -and most powerful- present ever: The English/Spanish translator Partner ES900. Her satisfaction will be immediate. Your partner will open, even more, the doors of her heart -and her life- when she sees the power that you have in your hands.”

Hat tip: José Simián