Now that the Mexican government has decided to “fully” investigate Paulina Rubio for potentially “desecrating” the Mexican flag… it might also want to spend the same energy and television air-time in investigating Mr. Vicente Fox for alledgedly robbing us blind and leaving us more naked that Rubio herself.

The details of the so-called investigation into Paulina’s posing are now becoming ridiculous: press reports have quoted Director of Democratic Culture and Civic Promotion (don’t you love this title?) Jose Castillo saying Paulina Rubio’s photos [published on Cosmopolitan magazine] must be examined to see whether the article in question is a genuine flag, apparently the only circumstance on which it would be considered an offense.

If you ask me, Paulina can pose naked wherever and however she wishes. My ‘patriotism’ would not be hurt. It would be painful, though, to find out you can still get away with embezzlement, and then make cheerful appearances on U.S. television.

Starting Oct. 21, EL PAIS, Spain’s most-widely circulated paper, is getting rid of its diphthong (bet you didn’t know this word!) and reclaiming its rightful accent over the “i” so that it will now read EL PAÍS (as opposed to EL PAIS.)

An upcoming redesign will incorporate spelling norms dictated by the Real Academia de la Lengua Española, which in 1999 declared capital letters should be spelled with an accent. Finally! said proponents of the accent.

La renovación que EL PAÍS emprenderá el próximo día 21 no sólo afectará al diseño de sus páginas y a la manera de contar las noticias. Los cambios afectarán incluso a la cabecera. La marca EL PAÍS se escribirá con tilde para que su grafía no entre en contradicción con las normas ortográficas que se aplican en el resto del periódico.

Speaking of being rich in Mexico, International Living magazine has named my native country as the world’s “number one” retirement haven, moving four spots since the last ranking one year ago.

Achieving this “honor,” the magazine informs us, was a combination of many factors:

Mexico offers the perfect mix of centuries-old traditions and contemporary lifestyles. Moving to Mexico means you can still have all of the amenities you grew accustomed to north of the border: cable TV, high-speed Internet, and modern home appliances. And if you prefer, when you move to Mexico you can even bring all of your favorite things with you without paying import taxes.

Of course Mexicans shouldn’t get too excited. This, of course, applies only if you are a gringo (and maybe –just maybe– a Canadian). After all, you don’t have to sweat to get a visa, nor you have to pay a pollero or risk your life jumping an electrified fence to get there.

But if the above is not convincing enough, check this out:

Goods and services cost less, so you can afford the kinds of luxuries only the very wealthy enjoy up north: a maid, a cook, and a gardener for example. In your retirement here, you’ll have time to volunteer at the local school, time to golf in the mornings, time to relax on the beach…time to savor life.

All of this without mentioning all the cheap Coronas and bikini-clad chicas ready to give you pleasure on top of a hamaca. Ay, ay, ay! “Yo querer mucho Mexico!”