Month: April 2015

H is for ‘Hispanics:’ Hillary Really Wants your [Hispanic] Vote

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Hillary Clinton, aka the wife of the non-inhaler former President of the United States, on Sunday formally announced her second run for the White House. But she did it in the most millennial fashion: through a digital blitz in English — and Spanish — portraying herself as a champion of everyday Americans.

“La Clinton” even posted her now archfamous tweet in a so-so Spanish, in which she claims she wants to be el defensor [SIC] and not “la defensora” of the American people.

I’m not sure if I need Hillary as my defensor or defensora for anything, but I’m pretty damn sure she’s way a better alternative than this guy and certainly this other one.

Awww, if only I could vote…

Via: CNET en Español

Sofía Vergara Transitions from ‘Rotating’ to ‘Leaning In’

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Sofia

Last time the Colombian (not Columbian) bombshell was featured on this blog, she had been put to rotate 360 degrees during the annual EMMY’s award ceremony, because apparently that’s what you are supposed to do with hot, Latin women onstage.

This time, Vergara (aka the Colombian, not Columbian, bombshell) graces the May 2015 cover of Vanity Fair magazine, where she talks about many interesting things, including her [fake] accent and –what else?– her “Bombshell Empire.”

But she also talks about Leaning In, which I think it’s awesome and much more interesting than rotating.

Personally, I’m much more comfortable just lying down, but heck, that’s just me!

Hispanic Jeb Bush Is the Best Thing on Twitter Right Now

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Unless you live under a rock, in a detention center in Guantánamo or in a place without access to Twitter (very unlikely), you would have heard by now that Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush once identified himself as Hispanic in a voter registration application.

50804272According to a Miami-Dade County document published Monday by The New York Times, Bush listed his race/ethnicity as “Hispanic,” in a 2009 voter-registration application, a fact that quickly spread over social media, giving way to some hilarious tweets, starting with Hispanic Jeb Bush himself.

The incident quickly gave way to the creation of the YebBush Twitter account, which promptly began interacting with this blogger.

I say we should cut this guy some slack. He speaks fluent Spanish. His wife, Columba (NOT Columbia) Bush, was born in Mexico and for two years in his 20s, he lived in Venezuela… Besides, his Spanish is WAY better than that of many “Hispanics” I know. I promise.

 

‘Parents Latina:’ Because Hispanic Millennial Moms are Unlike Regular Latina Moms

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ParentsLatinaMeredith Co. has launched Parents Latina, a quarterly English-language magazine targeting “Hispanic Millennial Moms,” a group that apparently requires its own parenting tips –and one that doesn’t care less if the words Parents and Latina don’t really go well together in a sentence.

But I digress.

Meredith Co. already has Ser Padres, a Spanish-language magazine targeting, ahem, Spanish-speaking parents, and Parents magazine, an English-language magazine targeting English-speaking, non-Hispanic parents. But apparently none of these was good enough for needy, self-serving Hispanic Millennial Moms, who just like all other millennials, just have-to-have-their-own-thing.

And what particular advice does Parents Latina offer to Hispanic millennial moms? I have no idea, but I’m guessing it will include some useful tips & advice, including:

  • How to take a selfie without losing your child in the process
  • Instagram your breast-feeding process and wow your friends!
  • 125 Reasons why your bundle of joy is more important than you
  • How to ‘Periscope’ while pushing a stroller through a crowded mall

I don’t know, but once I get my hands on one of these I’ll keep you guys posted.

British ‘Tortillas’ Feature Pyramids and Sombreros; Claim to Be ‘True Taste of Mexico’

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Hey Hoy
Hey Hoy

From this blog’s London correspondent (formerly this blog’s West Coast correspondent) come Britain’s “Cool,” gluten-free Hey Ho to Mexico “tortillas,” which is apparently what the Brits call any corn-based produce that comes packaged in a plastic bag featuring pyramids and sombreros.

These are not your regular [fake] tortillas, mind you, these “bring you a true taste of Mexico,” because as everyone knows, there is only one.

Hat tip: London correspondent: Kent German 

Undocumented Immigrants: Why Deport them when you Can Just Send them to War?

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No papers? No problem!
No papers? No problem!

It was only a few years ago, when U.S. Hispanics were deemed too fat and dumb to join the U.S. Army. But things are so much better now, apparently.

In its latest sneaky move to beef up enlistment, the U.S. military this week said it will be expanding a program to offer “fast track to citizenship for immigrants with special language or medical skills.”

According to a New York Times report, said program — known by the flamboyant name of Military Accessions Vital to the National Interest (yep) “seeks to increase to 3,000 enlistments this fiscal year and 5,000 in the 2016 fiscal year, up from the current limit of 1,500.”

And yes, while foreigners accepted to enlist have been legal immigrants on temporary visas, the program now welcomes “young undocumented immigrants with deportation deferrals.” Because… why bother deporting people when you can just send them to a dangerous war zone? I mean: duh.