U.S. Opens Embassy in Cuba; Cubans Brace for the Dunkin’ Donuts Cuban Sandwich

It’s all over now.

During a historic celebration on Friday, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry presided over a ceremony to reopen his country’s embassy in Havana.

Speaking in a fairly decent, Dora the Explorer-approved Spanish, Mr. Kerry (aka “Juan Querrico”) described the hoisting of the flag as a “historic moment,” as the beginning of an era of “real democracy” in which Cubans will be able to choose their leaders and — presumably — their non-Cuban meals too.

And we all know what this means. This means the pickled Dijon infused Dunkin Donuts Cuban Sandwich is now closer to real Cubans than ever before.

¡Pobrecitos!