Category: Fashion

Disney’s First Latina Princess is Dark-skinned, Has an ‘Abuela’

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"Elena has a darker complexion, brown eyes, and lush, chocolate-brown hair." Don't we all?
“Elena has a darker complexion, brown eyes, and lush, chocolate-brown hair.” Don’t we all?

Quite frankly, it’s getting increasingly hard for this blogger to keep up with all the nonsense, but here goes.

Today, while I was minding my own business, trying to figure out what mariachis have to do with boring conference calls and Harvard, a very important piece of news broke –in very important media outlets, mind you. Disney revealed Elena of Avalor, its first “Latina princess.”

And what — may you be wondering — makes Elena of Avalor a Latina? Well, let Disney explain it in its own words:

Elena lives in an enchanted fairytale kingdom inspired by diverse Latin cultures and folklore.

Yes, I know, I know, that’s not really quite enough. But there is more:

Her family will include a grandfather named Tito and abuela named Cici and a royal advisor by the name of Duke Esteban.

And that’s where I thought “Of course!” and abuela and a royal advisor? She has got to be a Latina.

Miss Universe was Hugely Popular on TV, and I Know Why

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A few seconds before Paulina Vega is crowned Miss Universe by the outgoing Gabriel Isler as seeing on stage (LEFT) and on TV.
A few seconds before Paulina Vega is crowned Miss Universe by the outgoing Miss Universe Gabriel Isler as seeing live on stage (Left, boring) and on TV (right, hot) with the proper backlight.

Miss Universe, that annual parade of young, pretty -and pretty shallow- women, which for some reason continues to be very popular, took place last night in Florida, making some ratings history for NBC and it’s Spanish-language network Telemundo, which aired the pageant in English and Spanish, respectively.

While NBC reported the 63rd Annual Miss Universe averaged 7.6 million viewers over three hours, Telemundo said 4.7 million people tuned in to watch the broadcast in Spanish.

Both figures are indeed impressive, but easy to understand when you consider how much sexier the whole thing is on television than watching it live from a local university in Florida –which by the way might be the closest any of these señoritas will ever get to a higher education institution.

H/t: @aqwack

Who Wants to Smell Like Hugo Chávez and Ché Guevara?

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ErnestoHugoPerfumesFrom the #NotTheOnion archives of this venerable blog, come the new “Ernesto” and “Hugo” fragrances, created in honor of -who else?- Ernesto “Ché” Guevara, and the late Hugo Chávez himself.

“Ernesto” is being described as having a touch of “wood,” while “Hugo” is “softer, with a touch of subtle, tropical scents.”

This is not a joke, you people. It’s the creation of a serious Cuban enterprise, Labiofam, whose founder spoke personally to my friend Andrea Rodríguez, of AP in Havana.

Now you know.

JLo’s ‘Booty’ Is Proof that Latinas are Proud of their Buttocks

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JLOBooty

Pay no attention to all the hoopla about stereotyping Latinas as sexy, hot and curvy individuals. In fact, and judging from Booty, the latest artistic creation of our own Jennifer Lopez, we are not only proud of our behinds, but spend quite a bit of time, money and effort showcasing them to the whole wide world. Just WATCH.

Oh, and while you’re at it, you might want to see proof that eating chips and guacamole for breakfast does wonders for your figure.

So… ¡a mover la colita y a desayunar guacamole!

Sofía Vergara Launches ‘Ethnic’ Fragrance, Because One Can Never Have Enough Money

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sofia-fragranceIt has been a while since I bug you guys with Latino celebrities and their Latino fragrances, so bear with me.

A bit late, but not to be outdone by the likes of Paulina Rubio, Shakira, Antonio Banderas and even José José, the super-famous, super-rich, super-accented and super-ubiquitous Sofía Vergara is the latest Latina celebrity to announce her own fragrance, which will appear sometime in April in U.S. department stores.

In an inexplicably long article, Sofía Vergara told Women’s Wear Daily that her fragrance will have orchids and roses, not only because they are her favorite flowers, but because they are also Colombian.

“I wanted to bring a little bit of who I am, my ethnicity, where I’m from, and I thought it was very cool to be able to get flowers from Colombia actually into the perfume.” 

I am sure she said all of this in an impossibly accented English, which is fine when you consider that is part of her charm and definitely the secret behind her many millions of non-ethnic money.

50 Shades of Gray… Hispanic Marketing Edition

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The folks over at GrandeLASH products were so eager to peddle its “outrageous” GrandeLASH mascara to Spanish-speaking Latinas, they picked up the first dictionary they came across and looked for the Spanish translation of the word “lash.”

Per WordReference:

Screen Shot 2014-02-17 at 12.18.34 PM

And so this happened:

Latigazos

I don’t know you, but I don’t like latigazos –neither before nor after– I go to “accost.” And don’t get me started on restalleos…

Hat tip: Mi blog Senior Correspondent @LParavano

Sofía Vergara Graces Cover of Glam. CondeNast Flack Promptly Promotes ‘Columbian’ Beauty

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GLCOVR0212L80

It is always refreshing to see “one of us” on the cover of high-profile magazines. But it is of special joy to this blogger to receive an image of the cover with an accompanying note by the magazine’s P.R. department hyping the awesomness of having such a smart “Columbian” beauty on their cover.

Flack

I don’t know you, but I’m off to read this thing ASAP, and try to find out if I too can become a highest-earning Latina.

I’m Sure Cynthia Duque Will do a Fine Job Representing my People at the 2013 Miss Universe Pageant

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Mexico_Duque
Mexican beauty queen Cynthia Duque wears a “typical” Mexican costume that will surely end up in a wardrobe malfunction of catastrophic proportions.

I’m proud to introduce you guys to Cynthia Duque Garza, the Monterrey native beauty who will represent my people (i.e. the Mexicans) at this year’s Miss Universe beauty pageant in Moscow.

As we all know, beauty queens are not particularly sharp, but I’m sure Ms. Duque will do a fine job representing Mexico. For starters, she has picked this awesome, typically Mexican outfit, which I’m sure will give her some extra points and help teach these Russians a thing or two about Mexico’s culture and heritage.

I don’t know about you, but I will tune in on Nov. 9th to root for my paisana and pray for her not to trip over and land on her penacho.

Spaniards, Too, Can Look Ethnic This Halloween

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Well, turns out it’s not only Americans who like to go a litle ethnic when it comes to celebrate Halloween.

Palma de Mallorca, Spain-based Turbo Hobby is promoting a new line of “ethnic” costumes, which include the “Disfraz de mexicano” (Mexican costume) featuring a pink, flowery poncho and some kind of Andaluz-looking hat that I didn’t know was Mexican.

Turbo Hobby’s Disfraz de mexicano comes in adult and child sizes and can be yours for only 14.95 euros.

Chances are you won’t look as cute as the guy in the picture here, but it is very likely that some members of your same gender will express their desire to sneak under your poncho…

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Daft Punk Comes Out of Mexican Closet… At Last!

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Daft_Punk_Mexican

Please don’t pretend you don’t know Daft Punk’s Lucky is a song about Uruapan and Mexican Lucky stuff.

This is clear from the French duo’s very Mexican lyrics.

Like the legend of the Phoenix,
All ends with beginnings.
What keeps the planets spinning,
The force from the beginning.

We’ve come too far
To give up who we are,
So let’s raise the bar
And our cups to the stars.

She’s up all night to the sun,
I’m up all night to get some.
She’s up all night for good fun,
I’m up all night to get lucky.

We’re up all night to the sun,
We’re up all night to get some.
We’re up all night for good fun,
Uruapan Mexican Lucky

Uruapan Mexican Lucky.

Uruapan Mexican Lucky.

Uruapan Mexican Lucky.

Here’s the full Spanish-language version, via @gabardina:

The t-shirt is -of course- the work of the always brilliant Máscara de Látex.

Photo and h/t: Richo González