Just Say ‘Gracias’ and Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Gracias, Jesús

This blogger will be taking some time off to embark on a food and drink rampage spiritual retreat to plan for the year ahead and thank my paisanos for all the hard work and for enduring stuff like thisthis and this on a daily basis.

Also, I wanted you to know I’m officially kicking off the Guajolote-Reyes marathon, which runs from Thursday Nov. 24 and all the güey through January , 2023.

Del Taco Wants you to Think these Are Tortas

If you thought Trump announcing a presidential bid for 2024 was the worst piece of news this year, think again: Del Taco – which dares call itself a “Mexican restaurant” – said it has added “Mexican-Style tortas” to their menu.

The company said (apparently with a straight face and via an unecessarily long press release) that their tortas are so epic that they will be known as Epic Tortas. Their excitement is such, that the chain temporarily changed its name to “Del Torta,” which –naturally– makes no sense whatsover.

This blogger is just gonna say one thing: Make Tortas Great Again!*

*and if you’re not up to the task, please just leave tortas alone.

Day of the Dead Is the New Cinco de Mayo –and I Can’t Even

Come November, there’s one thing that really, really, gets on my nerves (besides pumpkin-spice stuff, of course) and that is America’s obsession with the Mexican tradition known as Día de Muertos (basically Day of the Dead) or as some here dare calling it: Mexico’s Halloween.

Organic yellow corn tortilla chips with typos for Día de Muertos en gringolandia

Anyhow, in an effort to show you I was right when back in 2018 I decided to call Day of the Dead the New Cinco de Mayo, I will be posting here some of the most bizarre/sad/pathetic/senseless examples of what America is doing with one of Mexico’s most beloved traditions.

CLICK THROUGH THE FOLLOWING GALLERY OF HORRORS and be sure to check back as I’ll be updating this thing as soon as new barbaridades come my way…

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I hate to say I told you, but I told you ….

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Americans Celebrate National Taco Day; I Suffer Immensely

Yeah, you tell them, Red!
Yeah, you tell them, Red!

There is nothing more depressing for this blogger than National Taco Day, when everyone – and their abuela – take to social media to share what they think are … tacos.

The good news is that it’s also National Vodka Day, so I’m off for a very early one to be able to take the pain.

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING SLIDESHOW TO FEEL MY PAIN

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Introducing the Hispanic Lettuce

Throughout a long and not-necessarily successful career covering all-things Hispanic, I’ve encountered all kinds of marketing tactics pitching “culturally-relevant” products to Latinos.

I have been particularly impressed with Kellogg’s honey-flavored Corn Flakes, Oreo’s cream-filled churros, Domino’s Chicken Taco Pizza and even the one and only Hispanic cheese.

However, of all the things out there making us, Latinos, feel right at home here in the U.S., the Hispanic lettuce (found this weekend at a Harlem bodega) takes the cake. Besides, how much do you think this bodega owner spent on targeted media?

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem, NYC

Who Needs Ramsays and Stewarts when you Have Doña Ángela?

“Hola, mi gente!” My favorite YouTuber continues to kick butt

Doña Ángela, the adorable abuelita behind the super successful YouTube channel De mi rancho a tu cocina, continues to reign on the video channel, where she has amassed (pun intended) over 4 million subscribers –and counting.

Doña Ángela is not TV famous, and her kitchen does not boast any Michelin stars, and that’s because she’s the real enchilada, cooking all kinds of delicious stuff from her humble kitchen in Michoacán. Watch her make everything, from juicy carnitas to cheese-stuffed chayotes (yum!)

But the best part of the whole thing (at least for this blogger) is that Doña Ángela continues to get way more pageviews than other folks pretending to cook online, including Martha Stewart (and her molcajete cat) and Gordon Ramsay, who once said dulce de leche tastes like shit (yup he did.)

Hat tip & chart: Latinometrics

Mexican Food According to Croatia

Taquitos Bandidos in Downtown Zagreb. Photo: Laura Martínez, July 2022

Good morning from Zagreb!

So, here I was, strolling through the capital of Croatia, taking in the sights and sounds of this gorgeous city, when I bumped into “Taquitos Bandidos,” a small joint in Downtown Zagreb luring visitors with the promise of “Street Food.”

Of course I didn’t come all the way here to eat make-believe Mexican food, but I was intrigued and walked in to see the menu, which was brought to me by a family of flautas dressed like “bandidos,” complete with mustachios and sombreros, with one of them even waving a gun.

The menu features your regular taquitos, quesadillas and “spicy dips,” but of course, being from someone totally clueless about what Mexican food is all about, it includes chilli con carne and… chicken salad wraps.

The only good thing I found here was that they actuallly sell Jarritos, which of course cost as much as a bottle of Corona and way more than what they believe is tequila.

As for the food, well if it looks like this … so don’t blame me if I go in there soon to ask them to DELETE THEIR MENU.

I don’t know what the hell this is

 

Look! It’s a Concha! It’s a Chancla! It’s a Con-chancla!

Move over Con-chamacos! Mexican Mother’s Day is today, so Panadería KaryCar, a pastry shop in Jalisco, had the awesome idea of launching the con-chanclas, a concha/chancla combination that is going to make your mamá very happy.

Now… if they only worked a bit harder on their grammar, because, as y’all know: #AccentsMatter

It’s mamá, not mama

Via: Panadería KaryCar

Filing under Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?

Hold on to your Sombreros: Cinco de Mayo 2022 Is Here!

There seems to be a ton of Cinco de Mayo festivities in the Tampa area –for some reason.

No matter how many bizarre holidays Americans come up with, Cinco de Mayo will forever be my favorite. And not only because it’s an excuse to drink all day and yell ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s Mexican Independence (it’s not) but because it is also the time of year that brings out the stupidest most creative marketing brains to sell Americans everything, from DIY printable fiesta kits and taquito shooters (whatever that is,) to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic food” and even life-size cardboard Mexicans as scene setters.

Etsy T-shirts, anyone?

Nacho de Mayo, because why not?

This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing tool known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline using the #CincoDeMayo hashtag. This has only begun, so, please help me by tweeting me your own personal horrors for 2021 Cinco de Mayo and let the “Mexican” madness begin!

Ah yes, the special churro doughnut

The southern lady who cooks

These people

The spicy financial goals

Taco Bell, man!

Note: This post will be updated on a regular basis.