Category: Food

Here’s your Hispanic Mayonnaise to go with your Hispanic-Inspired Tuna

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When it comes to reaching Hispanics, marketers are a real creative bunch.

First came Procter & Gamble with its groundbreaking research concluding Hispanics love to smell. A little later, McDonald’s concocted the Big Mac wrapped in a flour tortilla and more recently StarKist regaled us the Hispanic-inspired tuna.

Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods now says it has figured out what would make my people buy more of their ‘mayonesa’…. Duh! Just put some lemon in the damn thing!

According to some very important marketing person at Kraft Foods:

“In Mexico, base mayo has lime juice in it, and often, Hispanics add even more lime juice themselves,” Karmen Conrad, a senior brand manager at Kraft Foods told the Houston Chronicle. “We wanted to offer an authentic mayonesa to the Hispanic population in the U.S.”

Thank you, Kraft!

I don’t know what I would have done with my Hispanic-inspired tuna without a Hispanic-specific mayonesa.

¡Gracias, gracias!

Introducing the “Authentic” Hispanic-Inspired Tuna!

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Marketing geniuses have given us culturally-relevant Hispanic cheese; deliciously weird tortilla-flavored chocolates, Mexican Coca-Cola and even a Hispanic lettuce. So it was really just a matter of time before somebody came up with a Hispanic tuna.

And that day, my friends, has finally arrived.

This blogger is happy to announce the launch of Auténtico, a “Hispanic-inspired canned tuna line” from the makers of non-Hispanic-inspired tuna StarKist.

According to a press release:

“Auténtico products blend StarKist tuna with bold spices such as red, chili and jalapeno peppers […]”

…because as everybody knows, Hispanics like spices and seem to put jalapeño everywhere.

¡Chunta-chunta-chunta-chún, vamos a comer atún!

Hat tip: HispanicTips

Mexico Beats Its Own Taco Record; Lacks Funds to Register Such Feat

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So you guys thought I was joking when I said we (the Mexicans) know how to make the world’s largest and spiciest tacos, ever!

Not only New Mexico couldn’t beat regular Mexico with their huge navajo taco the other day, but regular Mexico has done it again, beating its own world record, by cooking a 50-meter long taco filled with an “indeterminate” volume of onion, rice, cilantro, pork cracklings, beef, chicken, eggs and sausages.

Alas, such an achievement could not be registered in the Guinness Book of Records, simply because sufficient funds were not available.

“We’re in the process of registering it, but it implies an expenditure that can’t be contemplated right now of more than 400,000 pesos (some $33,000),” municipal official Agustin Torres Pérez told EFE.

So hereby this blogger is launching a campaign for the officers over there at the Guiness Book record-thing to stop the nonsense and give my people a well-deserved discount. Or, perhaps, they will let us pay them in kind, with some delicious taquitos?

It’s Official: Mexicans Take Over New York City

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In yet another sign that Mexicans are indeed taking over the Big Apple, a trajinera has been spotted in and around Flushing Meadows Corona Park.

See? We, mexicans, don’t only want our carnitas here, we also want to move around in our traditional means of transportation.

Well, actually, the trajinera thing is a piece of moving art that is part of this year’s Celebrate Mexico Now Festival. Never seen one in real life? Here is your chance, newyorkers!

Photo: Stolen from the Web site of the Queens Museum

New Mexico Unable to Beat ‘Regular Mexico’ in Cooking World’s Largest Taco

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Mayor Jackie McKinney tosses diced tomatoes on what state officials are calling the "world's largest Navajo taco" in Gallup, N.M.

This blogger has absolutely no idea what a “navajo taco” is but residents of Gallup, N.M. got a taste of it this past weekend, when the city attempted to enter the World Records of Guiness by cooking a colossal one. According to the local press:

The taco, which was more than 10 feet in diameter, used 150 pieces of fry bread, 65 pounds of ground beef, 65 pounds of beans, 50 pounds of lettuce, 90 pounds of cheese, and more than 30 pounds of green chile.

Sorry, my friends, but the title-holder of world’s largest taco still belongs to Mexico, according to the Guinness Book of World Records itself. That cheese- and meat-filled concoction, which was prepared by the city of Mexicali in March 2003, weighed in at 1,654 pounds.

Ajúa!

Attention Food Marketers! Delfín Will Make Your TV Commercial Truly Sublime

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If you are in the advertising, or food marketing business, you’d better get acquainted with Ecuador’s singing sensation El Delfín, whose “Andean techno-folklore” style will help your next TV spot truly unforgettable.

Behold this advertising jewel via Maruri Grey, which –not surprisingly– has earned plenty of advertising awards in its native Ecuador.

Kraft Wants More Hispanics to Drink their Kool Aid

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It is a good thing there are now more than 50.1 million Hispanics in this country, so that companies unable to grow their brands among healthy-minded Americans can now turn to the so-called minorities to peddle their fast foods and sugary drinks.

Take Kraft’s Kool Aid, which this month announced it will devote most of its advertising budget against U.S. Hispanics.

According to the New York Times:

Kool-Aid, in a first for any Kraft brand, has allocated the majority of its 2011 marketing budget to reach Hispanics. Television commercials that began running this week on networks including Univision and Telemundo feature families drinking the beverage at festive occasions.

The Spanish-language pitch goes beyond the convenience of dissolving some powder in your glass of water. Kool Aid, says this advertisement, will actually help your children have fun…. And if everything goes according to plan, they will soon qualify to take part on the upcoming Hispanic version of The Biggest Loser.

Cocaine, Tortilla Dough… Same Difference

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Does this look like cocaine to you?

Are you planning on wondering about the U.S. with a sack full of tortilla dough? Be ready to spend some days in the slammer.

Take Antonio Hernandez, 45, who last week was arrested and charged with possession of 91 pounds of cocaine after police officers -alerted by a narcotics dog- took him to the Buncombe County Jail in North Carolina. Per the local news:

“Deputies said Carranza appeared intoxicated, though he was later deemed sober by a Breathalyzer test. They said a narcotics dog alerted officers to check Carranza’s baggage, and multiple narcotics field tests determined that the substances were cocaine.”

Hernández actual cargo? Tortilla dough, cooking flour and shrimp.

Gee, officers? Can’t you tell the difference between one thing and the other? I’m going to have to get you passes for a free visit to your nearest Maseca plant. Stay tuned.

NBC Shows its True Multicultural Colors –and Spices

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Remember my mun2 goody-bag full of hot salsas?

Not to be outdone, mun2 parent NBC Universal this morning showed its true multicultural colors by giving attendees to the launch of “Hispanics at NBCU” division a Mobile Food set, including 16 organic herbs + spices, plus wasabi, soy sauce and –what else?– a miniature Tabasco sauce.

Multiculturalism is so spicy and delicious!

Chipotle Grill Under Scrutiny by ICE: Now Who’s Going to Roll my Burritos?

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Burrito-loving Americans should be up in arms: Chipotle Mexican Grill, which owns and operates nearly 1,100 outlets across the U.S., has been forced to let go of hundreds of workers amid an immigration probe that has spread to other states. According to the Wall Street Journal:

“Hundreds of workers were dismissed in Minnesota, where Chipotle has about 50 restaurants and employs about 1,200 people, after the company received notices of ‘suspect documents’ for them from ICE.”

I don’t know you but I fear for the “integrity” of my meal. If not a Mexican, who is going to be rolling my burritos from now on? a Puerto Rican? a Texan? No, señor!

Greg Creed Stands by His ‘Beef’…Even in Spanish

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Taco Bell’s president Greg Creed did not want to miss the opportunity to include U.S. Hispanics in his staunch defense of his restaurant’s “beef.” But instead of embarrassing himself pretending to speak Spanish like some people we know, he took the safe road of subtitles.

Watch him stand by his “beef,” which contains a delicious mixture of beef, water (to keep it “moist and juicy,) seasoning, salt, chilli, pepper, onion, powder, oats, lecithin, sugar, spices, Maltodextrin, autolyzed yeast extract, citric acid, caramel color, Silicone dioxide, yeast, salt, sodium phosphates and modified corn starch. Yeah, just like the one your abuela prepares at home.

Maltodextring AND silicone dioxide???!!!  That’s gotta be good!