No, Del Real Foods, pupusas are not a Mexican tradition and no, f not stuffed quesadillas.
Get your act together, will ya?
Del Real Foods Wants you to Believe a Pupusa is a ‘Stuffed Quesadilla’
Category: Guacala
New Mexico Taquería Serves Food Items with Names like ‘The Wall,’ ‘Fake News’ –and Plenty of Typos
Would you eat a burrito with a name such as “Lock Her Up?”
I didn’t think so, but someone does.
Hanif Mohamed, a Muslim immigrant from Kenya, had the not-so-swell idea to open a taquería in Albuquerque with items he hopes will make us crave for his Mexican “food.” Urban Taquería‘s food items include tacos & burritos with bizarre names like “No Collusion,” “The Wall,” “Under Audit,” “Executive Privilege,” and –of course– “Bad Hombre.”
Mohamed –who by the way cannot stand President Trump– told The Washington Post that tacos such as “Bad Hombre” and “Fake News” and burritos such as “The Wall” and “Lock Her Up” “are meant to start political conversations and keep people talking about Trump’s rhetoric.”
Maybe, Mr. Mohamed, but what’s with the chipotle arbol and the carne adovada? That’s already a no no for this Spanish grammar-obsessed blogger, so I think I’ll pass on your “conversation.”
Oh, and don’t get me started on your habañero mayonnaise…
Photo via: CNN
Portland Is Hosting a Topless Taco Festival, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
In an effort to raise funds –and awareness– around breast cancer, Portland is hosting a… Topless Taco Festival where visitors are encouraged to come topless for the tacos and booty short-clad for the burritos.
And no, unfortunately this is not some sort of joke or fake news, but an actual event that is scheduled to take place in Portland on August 17. Why? Because apparently nothing says fight cancer like being naked while eating tacos.
Filing under ONLY IN AMERICA and STUPID PROPOSITIONS.
Via: Facebook
There’s a Taco Bell Hotel in the Works and I Can’t Even
Not content with giving the mighty taco a VERY BAD NAME, Taco Bell is close to opening The Bell, a Taco Bell-themed pop-up hotel, which has some people really excited –for some reason.
According to an inexplicably long news article about this thing:
At 10am PT on June 27 you will be able to book your stay at The Bell. The first check-ins for the four-day pop-up begin on August 8. There’s no minimum stay, so you can even just pop in for a single evening.
Activities will include the brand’s Freeze Lounge, live performances from artists and –wait for it– a salon offering taco-inspired nail art.
Send in the nukes. I’m ready….
Via: Desert Sun
No, Australia, We Don’t Want your Hideous Pineapple Burrito
Turns out June 27 is World Pineapple Day (for some reason) so Australian fast-food chain Mad Mex decided to release its first pineapple burrito, a “limited edition” thing that –thank God– will be available only in Australia.
In an unnecessarily long news article, Mad Mex CEO Clovis Young said “he was prepared for the public backlash,” but wanted to help answer the question of whether pineapple should be a staple in Mexican food.
OK, Mr. Clovis Young, here’s your answer. Yes, we’ll allow some pineapple (maybe) in a VERY GOOD set of tacos al pastor made in Mexico, by real Mexican taqueros. So no, it shouldn’t be a part of that hideous thing you dare call a “Mexican staple food.”
You are welcome.
West Harlem: Now Proudly Serving Dominican Sushi
…Whatever that means
Photo: Laura Martinez (Harlem)
Americans are Putting Avocado on a Stick and I’m Screaming
Was this really necessary?
The short answer is no, but it seems like Americans in general –and millennials in particular– continue to find ways to ruin everything.
According to an unnecessarily long article, this thing was conceived by some dude in Vermont to help his fellow Americans, who continue to suffer from Avocado Hand, a potentially devastating malaise affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado.
“They warn that putting avocado on a slice of bread is complicated and implies a danger, because in the United States some people have been injured trying to split an avocado, so they say that, with this presentation, enjoy the ‘green gold’ is simple and delicious.”
Oh, and don’t get me started on the plastic…
Via: Milenio
Bush’s Beans ‘Cocina Latina’ Products are Making me Very Sad
American corporations will stop at nothing when marketing “Latin-inspired” food to my always-hungry people (i.e. The Hispanics.) The most recent example of this is Bush’s Beans Comida Latina, which features a product line of prepared beans –and hominy– just like our grandma … didn’t actually make.
This doesn’t look neither promising, nor appetizing you know?
Via: Amazon.com
The Avocado Toast Sneakers are Here, Because Hipsters are Determined to Ruin Everything
Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well.
Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the “Saucony Originals Shadow 6000 Avocado Toast sneakers” are here for a price I can only guess will be as high as an “avocado toast.”
I’m kind of busy right now, but I’ll be filing this under the #PinchesHipsters and #StupidPropositions categories… and then proceed to jump out the window.
Via: Footwear News
Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!
Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate.
This thing was last seen at a local store for $5.99 –and yes, this is what it actually looks like.
If Guacammus is not for you, these people are also peddling Picomole, Apple Salsa and Cranberry Salsa among other atrocities, because why the hell not?
Hat tip: @lechancle
This Restaurant Sells a Pablo Escobar-themed Burger –and Fox News Writes Columbia, not Colombia
A pop-up burger restaurant in Australia thought it was a great idea to peddle a Pablo Escobar-themed burger named –what else?– a Pablo Escoburger.
The creation, which has drawn the fury of many across social media, is named after the infamous Colombian (NOT Columbian) drug lord Pablo Escobar. The thing is aptly named “Patrón Burger” and features “a line of white powder, garlic flour, on top of the bun with a rolled up, fake $100 note stuck on top.”
This story is great and all that, but please Fox News: #ItsColombiaNotColumbia*
Via: Fox News
* con una chingada
OK, France, Now You’re Just Being Ridiculous…
Move over, Taco Bell: French fast food chain Tacos King, is on its way to become this blogger’s worst make-believe-taco nightmare.
I came across this establishment in the heart of Downtown Lille, and while I didn’t have the heart to walk in and come face to face with the calamité, I was able to secure a photo of *these* things the French dare call “tacos.”
Mon Dieu!
Photo: Laura Martínez, Lille, France.
Greetings from Paris, Home of the Mayonnaise au Chipotle
Awwww Paris…
There is nothing like spending some quality time in the City of Lights, with its beautiful architecture, ubiquitous cafés, gorgeous boulevards… and authentic taquerías.
Behold Chiquitin, the newest addition to Rue Henry Monnier (this blog’s temporary headquarters). The 10×10 meter changarrito is the take-away petit branch of Luz Verde, just across the street, and it features all sorts of salsas, including old time favorites like roja, verde and pico de gallo, but other more inventive like mayonnaise au chipotle, césar and –wait for it– salsa matcha.
I haven’t eaten here –yet– as I’m currently busy getting reacquainted with dry pork goods (saucisson sec, rosette de Lyon, etc.) and liters of wine, but I’ll get to it at some point and will be sure to report back.
Oh, did I mention the 16-euro ceviche and the 9-euro tacos al pastor?
Mon dieu!
Photos: Laura Martínez, 22 Rue Henry Monnier, December 2018.
‘Hispanic Santa’ Wears Sombrero, Whacks a Piñata
Marketers are one audacious bunch.
Take the people of Festified Holiday Clothing, who took some time this week to send this blogger a sales pitch for their upcoming Feliz Navidad sweater line, featuring “multicultural Santa” (i.e. Hispanic and Black).
The $65 Feliz Navidad sweater (mind you, it’s discounted from $70) features “Hispanic Santa,” which in case you were wondering, is Hispanic because he’s brown faced and is holding a stick to whack a piñata.
Now, if piñatas and sombreros are not your thing, you can also go for the Men’s Lighted Multicultural Black Santa, who is — well — just black, though if you asked me, doesn’t look as merry as the Hispanic one.
To be fair, the marketing people behind these things were honest enough to acknowledge right off the bat that these sweaters are ugly.
Not racist, they say, just ugly.
Oh well.
CLICK on the photo below to see the full pitch. It’s gold!
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 