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This blogger will be taking some time off to embark on a food and drink rampage spiritual retreat to plan for the year ahead and thank my paisanos for all the hard work and for enduring stuff like this and this on a daily basis.
As for this blogger, she’s officially kicking off the GUAJOLOTE-REYES marathon, which runs from Nov. 25th and all the güey through January 6, 2015.
I totally missed this skit when it first aired on Saturday Night Live, but it’s funny as hell and deserves a spot on this venerable blog.
Watch, enjoy and –please– don’t take yourselves so seriously.
Behold the Salmon Cannon, a contraption that shoots salmon upstream, as this has become increasingly difficult because we humans just cannot leave fish and nature alone.
In a nutshell, the Salmon Cannon uses pressure to suck up a fish, send it through a tube at up to 22 mph and then shoot it out the other side, reaching heights of up to 30 feet. The contraption was used recently to move hatchery fish up a tributary of the Columbia River in Washington.
All this is great, of course, but knowing how “creative and entrepreneurial” the U.S. border patrol can get, I just hope it will not inspire any whacky ideas to start sending my people back to the other side of the Río Bravo.
A MexiCannon, anyone?
Hat tip: Kent German, Taco & Fisheries correspondent.
Arizona’s nutcase Andrew Thomas has launched a new campaign video, featuring Thomas himself (aka “the only candidate who stood up to the gay lobby”) vowing to take on sneaky Mexicans and banning their flag -or something like that.
Filing this under the #NotTheOnion archives.
Mexican native Omar Ariel Cortés has created a Facebook page showcasing a world in which Mattel’s famous Barbie doll leaves her magical world to join a more sinister one: the world of drug dealing, breast cancer, single motherhood, prostitution and migration, mostly from a Mexican perspective.
I do not know this guy, but I think some of these images are quite powerful. Besides, they are much more real than Mattel’s now infamous Mexican Barbie.
All images taken from Omar’s Facebook page.
I don’t really know what’s worse: If watching a video of Tim Donnelly pledging to put a goddam gun in every goddam American home, or witnessing the pathetic, supposedly funny translation by María Conchita Alonso while clutching a pet named Tequila and informing us about the large size of Donnelly’s balls.
I am also not sure how I managed to make it to the following 3 minutes below, but I did. Sadly.
In any case, I felt I had to say sorry to my Californian friends. This blogger will be praying for you.
Yes, this cover is from 2011. And yes, it is just as relevant today.
Happy Thanksgiving! or –as we say in Spanish– “Japi Sansgivin”…..
Via The New Yorker
In the latest installment of the “How to Turn your Gringo Holiday into a Relevant Latino Holiday,” series, I give you Tamalegiving, a simple -yet delicious- way to turn Thanksgiving Day into Tamalegiving Day instead.
Watch a very cute, acculturated Guatemalan-American kid saying “guácala” to his mom’s gallina as he makes his case for a Thanksgiving full of tamales. Oh, sí.
Alas, I’m more of a ‘Tacogiving’ type of person. But hey, that’s me!
Happy Tamalegiving, pues!
hat tip: Betti Ortega
I am not the one to criticize misleading headlines. After all, I use them all the time, for they can make all the difference between actually clicking on one story or ignoring it forever.
So, when I saw CNN.com had a story about Latinos and our ‘curves,’ I couldn’t help but clicking on it (secretly hoping there would be a mention of big-butted Latinas like myself). To my disappointment, CNN was actually reporting on obesity, diabetes and other health-related issues, and not about my people’s real curves like these ones here or here.
It looks to me the above photograph is more suited for a story about Latinos and how we’re basically doomed by our penchant for American fast-food -the only type affordable in this day and age. [To CNN’s credit though, I must confess my curves are starting to look more and more like llantas, but, well, that’s another story.]
We didn’t plan for this to go public, but ‘The New York Times’ had to go and ruin it for us. Yes, part of Latinos’ master plan to sneak into this country is by disguising ourselves as movie mascots.
What the New York Times doesn’t know is that once we have managed to sneak in (like Mr. Martinez, above) we then move onto Phase II of the plan, which consists of a more elaborate scheme to rapidly populate the country.
Take James Fulford, a writer over at anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism, anti-coherence online community Vdare, who recently took to the web to denounce “upper-class, disloyal Hispanic journalists (specifically Univision’s Cristina Costantini) for “campaigning to import lower class illegals—who won’t live in their neighborhoods.”
According to Fulford, Costantini –whom he refers to as “Cosantini” for some reason– is totally biased in favor of immigrants, because (duh!) she works at Fusion, a company partly owned by Univision, which in turn is “owned” by none other than the “cute-as-a-button* blue-eyed, Mexican journalist Jorge Ramos.”
Way to go, Mr. Fulford! I’m adding your website to my list of favorites; it is not very often that racist, ignorant remarks make me laugh so hard that I almost choked on my gordita de chicharrón.
*The “cute-as-a-button” part is mine.
An ill-informed individual, presumably not Mexican (nor Indian) thought it would be an awesome idea to convey his/her thoughts on population control on a $1 bill… And, of course, of the millions of people who transact money on a daily basis in this wonderful city, I was the lucky one to get this as change in my neighborhood bodega.
The buck stops here.
How many Mexicans does it take to organize a Cinco de Mayo party in Wyandotte, Michigan? Apparently, zero. [I’m sure my people would have seriously objected to holding a May 5th celebration on May 4th.]
Too bad organizers didn’t consult with this blogger beforehand. I could have given them an awesome tagline for their event:
“Guayandóte: Esperándote desde el Cuatro para celebrar el Cinco”
¡Ajúa!
As it turns out, these tricky islamist radicals are not only becoming experts in ‘acting Hispanic’ and copying our tacos and all. They are now confusing the hell out of mainstream, non-Latino, non-Muslim, non-radical Americans by making believe pitas and tacos are basically the same thing.
Hat tip: @Bathtubmedia
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