Trump-Themed Toilet Paper Knows no Borders –and Supports Migrants

What ever happened to Softness Without Borders?

The Mexico made Trump-themed toilet paper was first announced in 2017 with much fanfare, but we sort of lost track of it –until now that it began making the rounds on the Internet –again– as Mr. Trump insists a border wall will be built to keep “nasty Mexicans” and other bad hombres away.

Unlike the president of the United States, the Mexican-made Trump Paper offers “Softness without borders” and claims to “actually support migrants,” since its creator pledges to donate 30 percent of the proceeds to organizations helping migrants entering the United States.

The package also boasts it contains “puros rollos” — a double-entendre that means “pure rolls” but can also be understood as “pure nonsense,” which is, well, much more accurate to our current situation.

Oh, and one more thing: What’s with Zapata and the Burrito Revolution?…

This Restaurant Sells a Pablo Escobar-themed Burger –and Fox News Writes Columbia, not Colombia

It’s Colombia, not Columbia

A pop-up burger restaurant in Australia thought it was a great idea to peddle a Pablo Escobar-themed burger named –what else?– a Pablo Escoburger.

The creation, which has drawn the fury of many across social media, is named after the infamous Colombian (NOT Columbian) drug lord Pablo Escobar. The thing is aptly named “Patrón Burger” and features “a line of white powder, garlic flour, on top of the bun with a rolled up, fake $100 note stuck on top.”

This story is great and all that, but please Fox News: #ItsColombiaNotColumbia*

Via: Fox News

* con una chingada

Avocados From Mexico Releases Super Bowl Commercial. It’s as Bad as Anything ‘Avo’ in America

Kristin Chenoweth, a famous person I’ve never heard about, stars in Avocados From Mexico’s Super Bowl spot.

Yeah, it’s that time of the year, when not content with punishing me with frigid temperatures –and plenty of avocado-hipster nonsense– corporate America starts releasing their Super Bowl teaser commercials.

Enter the Avocados From Mexico’s Super Bowl spot, starring actress-I-had-never-heard-of Kristin Chenoweth and three small dogs who –for some reason– she tries to teach to bark the group’s famed jingle.

According to AdAge, the below is only a teaser, because there’s also a 60-second digital version of this thing (60 SECONDS!) that will be released –and which I’m sure will be four times as unbearable.

WARNING: WATCH AT YOUR OWN PERIL ⚠️

This Prosecco Promises Pleasure [i.e. Sex] to Hispanic Drinkers

OK, so I’m sitting at this bar in Amsterdam, when I decided to order a Prosecco to go with my breakfast. [See? according to my very own drinking rules, Prosecco is the only alcohol I allow myself to drink before noon without feeling -and looking- like a hopeless drunk.]

Little did I know Europeans promised me not only a good dry bubbly, but an entire sensual -and sexual- experience: I got a bottle of Follador: ‘Wow,’ I thought. ‘That’s just awesome! To hell with my flight!’

Alas, it was all a big tease. I finished the damn thing and there were just bubbles, pero de follar, no hubo nada de nada.

So be careful, my friends. This prosecco is puras promesas.

Netflix Sets Up a ‘Marijuana Maze’ –and Other Drug-Related Adventures in Manhattan. No, really

Netflix’ ‘Interactive Narcos: México Experience’ open Nov. 15 in the heart of Manhattan, just in time for El Chapo trial!

As part of its ongoing marketing efforts to promote the Nov. 16 premiere of Narcos: México, Netflix thought it would be an awesome idea to set up a marihuana maze –and other narco-related experiences in the heart of Manhattan.

Among other things, the Narcos: México Interactive Experience features a pop-up marijuana maze and a series of “photo-friendly moments” that promise to transport fans into the world of drug dealing and –hopefully– get them to watch the new series.

Per a company press release:

Guests will be transported back to the 80s in Guadalajara – choosing to walk the path of the  DEA or the cartel as they navigate a mirror-clad maze, wafting with the smell of cannabis. The Narcos: Mexico Experience features photo-friendly moments, dope swag and an eye opening experience of the historical occurrences reflected in the new series…and since no marijuana maze is complete without munchies, we’ve got churros, Mexican hot chocolate, and tequila to keep guests warm and in the Narcos: Mexico spirit.

And no, I’m not making this up. If you’re in New York City and have nothing better to do this weekend, you can actually go tour this thing for free. Oh and to make things even more exciting: El Chapo’s real life trial kicked off this week… in Brooklyn!

For more photos of the whole experience thing, CLICK HERE:

Via: CNET en Español

Why Mexico Will Never Forget Stan Lee…

Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?

Comic book legend Stan Lee died on Monday at the age of 95, and fans, friends and colleagues took to Twitter to bid farewell to the Marvel comics creator.

But while the super famous continue to post their condolences and share memories of their time with Lee, this garnacha stall in Mexico will remain this blogger’s favorite –and most unassuming– homage to Stan the Man.

¿Cuántas de chicharron?

I’m no Texan, but Beto Has my Vote

De la cuenta de Twitter de Beto O’Rourke

Say what you will about Texas (and I say a lot of not-so-nice things) but Democratic congressman Beto O’Rourke not only has a reported 62 percent of the Latino vote in the Texas senate race (vs. Rafael “Ted” Cruz) but he’s like a fan of this blogger’s FAVORITE Mexican band ever. Yes, Los Tigres del Norte have endorsed Beto and Beto and Los Tigres are, like, BFFs now.

Heck! he even tweeted in Spanish, so I’m like, dying here.

For the uninitiated, you can read this New Yorker profile of Los Tigres del Norte or simply click below. This is not the best video out there, but if you’re fortunate enough to understand Spanish, these lyrics are, like, WOW*…

Here’s my humble attempt to translate this song…

They already yelled at me a thousand times
That I must return to my land
Because there’s no room for me here
Well, I want to remind the gringo

I did not cross the border
The border crossed me
America was born free
It was men who divided it

They painted the line
For me to jump and now they call me an invader
It is a well-marked error
They stole eight states from us, who is here the invader?

I am a foreigner in my land
And I do not come to give them war
I am a hard worker

And if history doesn’t lie
Here he sat in the glory, the mighty nation
Among brave warriors
Indians from two continents, mixed with Spanish

And if we go to the centuries
We are more American
We are more American
That the son of Anglo-Saxon

And if the story does not lie
Here he sat in the glory, the mighty nation
I entered brave warriors
Indians from two continents, mixed with Spanish

And if it comes to centuries
We are more American
We are more American
That the sons of Anglo-Saxons

…. etc. etc. etc.

 

Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?

From the always-popular section Mexicans: How can anyone not like us? comes the world’s cutest sign ever, spotted by a Reddit user somewhere in Mexico, home of some of the most surreal (i.e. wondrous stuff I’ve ever seen.)

Still not sure Mexico is, like, the funnest place on Earth? Check out some of the following links:

From chicken to stationary

The mobile taquero

El gym morrison

La playera del Chapo

… and/or just do me a favor and keep clicking on this blog every now and then will ya? I guarantee tons of diversión.

Photo via Reddit

Mexico Beats Korea 2-1 on Second World Cup Match –and Mexican Twitter Does it’s Thing

Mexico claimed their second win of the World Cup as they beat Korea on Saturday. Carlos Vela and Javier Hernández (aka Chicharito) put the goals that made an entire nation sing El Cielito Lindo in tandem. There were, of course, tons of Twitter reactions from my favorite tuiteros mexicanos. Here are some of my faves (though I’ll be updating this through the day.)

Vampipe, of course

El Dios Memo

 

Sombreros galore

Meanwhile in Kia Motors Monterrey…

Bamos megico

Yes it was THIS good

 

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Happy Hour starts NOW!

 

Mexican Lingerie Brand Wants you to Wear a Vibrating Panty During the World Cup, so you too Can Orgasm!

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

As the world preps for the biggest Latin party in the whole wide world (i.e. the World Cup) Mexican lingerie brand Vicky Form has come with an awesome idea to make us, ladies, enjoy the Cup like our HOMBRES!

But how? I’m glad you asked. I give you the world’s first ever vibrating panty, one that can be yours for only $999 pesitos and will vibrate to make you and your partner … come, I guess, during the entire tournament. Here’s the promise:

Until today women have not shared with their partners the passion with which they enjoy the soccer matches. That’s why we developed Feel the Game (Siente el Juego) the first smart panty that is synchronized with the games to transform the intensity of the plays in vibrations.

Go look for yourself. Log onto www.SienteElJuego.com and, well, happy orgasming!

La Tigresa de Oriente’s Awesome World Cup Video is Here!

This blogger’s favorite Peruvian artist is back on the scene, this time with a video filmed in Iquitos, Peru cheering for Peru’s National Soccer team and –for the most part– thanking coach Ricardo Gareca for taking the team to a World Cup after so many years! (36 to be precise.)

Mind you, the lyrics of this thing are just as awesome as the visuals. Here’s a taste:

Peru, positive claws for all my boys

Thank you, Gareca, for taking us to the World Cup after all these years

Thank you, boys, we’re one voice

Let’s all yell together the goals of Peru, trah-lah-lah

WATCH. ENJOY. REPEAT.

Hat tip: @lechancle (¿quién más?)