Holy Week in Mexico: Time for Jesus Accidents Nationwide

Photo credit: Pulso DF

You may not know this but Semana Santa (Holy Week) is a very important religious holiday in Mexico, and among the many events that take place during the course of the week, the so-called passion play is one of the most popular — and well-attended. It consists of a representation of the via crucis, and involves everyone, from workers, students and housewives who become actors for one day to play the roles of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Nazarenes, the apostles — and other characters (not all of them strictly Biblical) including a spy, a dog, and a wandering Jew.

In the play, when Christ gets captured, we see him carrying a cross a long way and until he reaches a location that represents Mount Calvary. In the most famous of these representations (the one that takes place in Iztapalapa) we see Christ carrying his cross from the town’s main square to the nearby Cerro de la Estrella in the heart of Mexico City.

Unfortunately, not all Mexican towns and cities have a mountain or even a hill around, so they resort to crucifix their Jesus on pretty much whatever location, including an electricity pole, which — as you may imagine — doesn’t always go smoothly.

JUST WATCH. ¡Pobre Jesús!

St. Patrick’s Day: The Other Binge Drinking Mexican Holiday

st_patricks_mexico_2

Go ahead; wear green and go out get drunk or whatever it is you do this weekend. But don’t forget Saint Patrick’s Day is a celebration of the Batallón de San Patricio, which according to Wikipedia my extensive readings of history books, was a unit of hundreds of immigrants and expats who fought as part of the Mexican Army against the United States.

Of course for Americans of the generation that fought the Mexican-American War, the San Patricios were considered traitors, while for Mexicans of that generation (and pretty much to this day) the San Patricios were heroes.

Now you know.

Now go get some green tequila and Irish tacos.

Zara Home Attempts to Gentrify Luffa Sponges; Hilarity Ensues

Multinational fashion chain Zara has done it again. The home products division of the Spanish giant has put some luffa sponges (known in Mexico as zacates) for sale at 299 pesos (about 9.60 U.S. dollars).

As any Mexican knows, these kinds of sponges can be found in any market around Mexico from less than a dollar a pack. The over 2,000% price difference was not lost on Mexican Twitter, which quickly activated the Zara Home Meme machine. The results are… hilarious.

Eco Shower

Eco Lunch

Make Cubetas Chic Again

Eco Friendly Dog House

Eco friendly Dog House

To think I was brought up in a Zara Home

Feeling Lonely in this Pandemic Super Bowl Sunday? Get Yourself some Insta-Mexicans!

They are festive, colorful and –more importantly– not contagious!

Are you still in lockdown, on a tight budget for fancy avocados and still haven’t made any “ethnic-looking” friends?

Worry not!

You can now buy 5-feet-tall Mexican “scene setters,” ready to assemble and give your Super Bowl party a unique fiesta touch. It’s as easy as bashing a piñata! Besides, with the pandemic still in full swing, WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE AROUND, ANYWAY?

For only a few bucks, you can pretend to have real Mexicans at your birthday, bautizo, quinceañera, wedding, etc. These Insta-Mexicans are over 5 feet high; they won’t eat all the tamales, nor gulp all the beer or crash in your living room forever.

So, what are you waiting for? Go get your Instant Mexicans ahorita mismo!*

*I bet these are totally Made in China, but just pretend you didn’t read this note at all.

The Pro-Trump Mob Assault on the Capitol in One Word

The day after a pro-Trump mob assaulted the nation’s Capitol, Metro, a Mexico City tabloid, printed what this blogger declares the best headline ever on the whole messy situation.

Please also note the wonderful use of the word zafarrancho, a wonderful choice to describe Wednesday’s brawl.

Filing under “Why I love Mexico” and “Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?”

Mexico’s COVID-19 Czar Goes to the Beach; Hilarity Ensues

Mexico’s coronavirus czar Hugo López Gatell urged Mexicans to stay home… but then he went on a beach vacation, sparking anger … and tons of memes.

After urging people to stay home, wear a mask, keep a safe distance from others and avoid going on vacation, Mexico’s coronavirus czar, Hugo López-Gatell, decided to take a maskless beach vacation in Oaxaca, prompting a wave of criticisms among Mexicans and later becoming the nation’s butt of the joke.

A series of photos published this weekend show Dr. López-Gatell seated at an outdoor bar with a female companion in the tourist-friendly beach of Zipolite, Oaxaca. Neither is wearing a mask. Another photo, taken a few days earlier on a crowded flight from Mexico City to the beach resort, López-Gatell is seen talking on a cellphone — again not wearing a mask. The photos quickly went viral on social media.

While the politician’s beach escapade sparked anger, naturally, it also gave rise to some hilarious memes and images that continued to light the Internet well into the new year, because when it comes to quick, witty Internet humor, Mexico sigue siendo el rey.

Here are some of my favorite reactions to López-Gatell’s beach escapade.

AMLO got a Special T-shirt

Back from Zipolite

Coronavirus Ready to Pounce

The thing Is… Nobody Reads the small Print

Move Over, Baby Jesus! Baby Yoda Wants a Piece of your Rosca de Reyes

‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.

Three Kings Day (better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries) is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.

In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2020 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.

Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!

I don’t know about you, I just think it’s adorbs!

ayñ

Merry Christmas from a CDMX Grinch Organ Grinder

Nothing says Christmas in Mexico City like a Grinch organillero.

If you’ve ever visited Mexico, I’m sure you have noticed the ubiquitous organ grinders (known as organilleros,) that tend to gather around main plazas or outside churches to provide entertainment –and one of the most characteristic sounds of my country.

Nowadays, most of Mexico’s organilleros belong to a union (formed in the late 1970s) and wear their characteristic brown uniform and hats. But there are exceptions, of course, as this dude found by a friend in CDMX, who roams about the streets of the capital city dressed up as none other but The Grinch.

And this, my friends, is the most charming thing I’ve seen lately in this annus horribilis.

WATCH HIM IN ACTION:

Medical Marketing in Mexico Be Like…

“It’s not the cold; your member is just small”

Today in our always popular section Mexicans, How Can Anyone not Like us? I give you Dr. Ricardo Madrigal, whose urology clinic specializes in non-surgical penis enlargements and fixing other virile malfunctions. Judging from Dr. Madrigal’s marketing tactics, he’s not the one to beat around the bush when it comes to promoting his services.

“IT’S NOT THE COLD; THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS!” reads a recent billboard in Mexico captured by a Reddit user.

In addition to huge signs along local highways Dr. Madrigal is also very active on Facebook, where you can find tons of other incredible Christmas promotions.

Just in time for the holidays. Yay!

Via: Dr. Ricardo Madrigal on Facebook

Tortas, Tacos and Trajineras to Encourage Mexico City Migrants to Vote in 2021

‘A chilanga without a voting document is like a al pastor taco without pineapple’

Mexican electoral authorities are calling on chilangos (as Mexico City residents are known) living abroad to take part in the 2010 election and vote for a “Diputación migrante.” What this basically means is that migrants hailing from the city capital will be able to cast a vote for representation at the Mexico City Congress.

And what better way to convince chilangos to take part than using some of the things that make our heart beat the hardest? Tacos al pastor; tortas de tamal and trajineras.

As Mexico’s Electoral Institute (INE) inform us on a dedicated Website, being a chilango without a voting document is equivalent to really dull things: Like a taco al pastor without pineapple; a guajolota (torta of tamal) without bolillo or a trajinera without a name.

This blogger better go sign up for this thing ASAP.

‘A chilango without a voting document is like a guajolota without bolillo.’

Hat tip: Chilango Le Chanclé

Pinball Machines: The Latest Victims of COVID-19 in Mexico

Reddit user IranRoman in Guanajuato, Mexico, captured this image showing two unsuspecting victims of COVID-19: Retro arcade games.

The sign literally says “Out of order because COVID-19,” which in Spanish sounds like they are not working because they “got” the virus, and not that they’re not available because of the virus.

Regardless, this is yet one more excuse for this blogger to exclaim… Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?

Photo Via Reddit

RIP Diego Maradona

Football legend Diego Maradona has died at the age of 60, multiple media reported on Wednesday, November 25.

This blogger was hoping the reports were false but at the time of this writing it looked like it had been confirmed. There is not much to say right now, except he was quite the character and among this blogger’s favorite moments was when he called Donal Trump “El Peluca” and snapped at him for not giving him a U.S. visa.

Maradona was so beloved in his native Argentina that there is even a “Maradonian Church,” with it’s own version of The Lord’s Prayer and the Hail Mary.

This post would be updated as anecdotes (and of course memes) start to trickle in. In the meantime, Buen Viaje, D10s!

The Coronavirus Corrido Is Here and it Was Inevitable

Mexican duet Alan y Roberto dedicate latest creation to a pesky virus.

It took Alan y Roberto (a Mexican duet) barely two hours to write a corrrido dedicated to the coronavirus, but the song is on its way to become a YouTube hit.

“I told him we are going to make a theme for them [Latinos impacted by COVID-19]… give them encouragement, hope and a positive message. Because the truth is something that many people are going through”, Alan Meza, told Univision Arizona.

“We have never had to experience something like this, really,” added Roberto Meza. “I know that there was a lot of fear, a lot of uncertainty on the part of the people and the truth was that was our mission, to carry that message.”

As is mostly the case with corridos, the tune is monotonous and kind of generic but what seals the deal are the lyrics. Always. Here’s a taste

Everyone was very scared, because of the coronavirus

We ran out of toilet paper, rice and even beans

Water is also becoming scarce

But fear not, it will all be over soon

Stoers, restaurants, schools and bars have closed their doors

But better be safe and be alert…

¡Ajúa!

Biden Beats Trump and this Is the Tabloid Cover for the Ages

I’ve spent many, MANY, years on this blog trying to explain “Latin things” or “Mexican things” to a mostly monolingual, crowd and I believe I’ve been pretty good at it.

Until now.

The above cover by a Mexican tabloid perfectly captured (prematurely, mind you)  what happened on November 7, 2020, when the presidential election was finally called for Joe Biden, making Trump one of the few incumbents to lose a bid for reelection (thank God!) It also makes it harder to explain, so I will let the wonderful people from Urban Dictionary to take it from here.

Thanks, perro!