Move Over, Baby Jesus! Baby Yoda Wants a Piece of your Rosca de Reyes

‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.

Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.

In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2023 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.

Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!

I don’t know about you, I just think it’s adorbs!

ayñ

Mexico: Home of “Entrepreneurs” –and “Quotation Marks”

Photo: Laura Martínez. Coatepec, Veracruz. December 2022

Awwww, Mexico… The land of the coc nuts coold and the Special Chapo Coffee, is also ground zero for small businesses –and plenty of quotation marks.

A recent trip to the Mexican states of Hidalgo, Querétaro and Guanajuato just confirmed what this blogger always suspected: My people just looooove quotation marks.

Check out the following gallery (by yours truly) to see only a few examples of our love affair with the ubiquitous comillas.

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Then again… Some small business owners just take the simplest — and yet still adorable — way to peddle their wares, like this clothing store in Pinal de Amoles, Querétaro:

Clothes
Clothing

 

 

Poor Newsmax Host Can’t Find Doll that Looks Like His Daughter

First things first: I do not watch Newsmax, and quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to since I don’t have cable TV.

However, I couldn’t help but flagging a clip I found online about Rob Finnerty, a poor white television host who can no longer find an American Girl doll that looks like his daughter, because the popular doll brand has been … wokeified.

“My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified”

Funny how the existence of a few black and brown dolls in a world where white dolls rule still triggers this kind of panic in white, right-wing folks.

Get yourself together, Roberto, we’re not that scary!

 

All Eyes on Mexico as the Team Preps to Play Argentina

All eyes were on the Mexico vs. Argentina match on Saturday afternoon, as the teams played their first Qatar 2022 game at the Lusail Stadium.

And even before the game, the memes and “memos” started to show up…

Mexican fans praying to our only possible savior: San Memo Ochoa

Speacking of hopes & wishes…

This post will be updated with whatever outcome… WISH US LUCK!

 

 

 

FIFA 2022: Mexicans in Qatar Be Like…

A Mexican fútbol fan (most likely a chilango) traveled all the way to Qatar and brought with him a huge speaker blasting my country’s famed “¡Se compran.. colchones .. tambores .. refrigeradores … estufas … lavadoras … microondas … o algo de fierro viejo que vendan!” a recording that is now used by thousands of peddlers of scrap metal all over Mexico.

I have no idea who this dude is but he rules. (Oh and the vid is NOT mine, I sort of “borrowed” it from the Internet.)

#FIFA2022

I’m Gonna Make Blogging Great Again

OK, y’all. For years, Twitter was my favorite (and pretty much only) social media platform, but then Elon came around and broke it (i.e. fucked it up).

Not content with ruining everyting, tonight, on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 el pendejo decided to reinstate the other pendejo, so, even if blogging takes longer and costs this blogger more money that it should, I plan to take all my taco –and -non-taco – funny rants here again.

I apologize to my almost 37,000 Twitter followers for the lack of activity over there. I promise I will try to keep the fun here as much as possible. And, yes, while there are no popular hashtags on WordPress, let me get you started on some good ones:

#PincheMusk
#PincheTrump
#FuckTwitter
#RIPTwitter

p.s. If you see this post pop up on your Twitter feed, it is because I have an automated feature set up for this so you can (hopefully) come visit, and not because I’m back on this hell hole again.

Thank you all for following me here. I promise to make blogging GREAT again!

#MBGA

 

Day of the Dead Is the New Cinco de Mayo –and I Can’t Even

Come November, there’s one thing that really, really, gets on my nerves (besides pumpkin-spice stuff, of course) and that is America’s obsession with the Mexican tradition known as Día de Muertos (basically Day of the Dead) or as some here dare calling it: Mexico’s Halloween.

Organic yellow corn tortilla chips with typos for Día de Muertos en gringolandia

Anyhow, in an effort to show you I was right when back in 2018 I decided to call Day of the Dead the New Cinco de Mayo, I will be posting here some of the most bizarre/sad/pathetic/senseless examples of what America is doing with one of Mexico’s most beloved traditions.

CLICK THROUGH THE FOLLOWING GALLERY OF HORRORS and be sure to check back as I’ll be updating this thing as soon as new barbaridades come my way…

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I hate to say I told you, but I told you ….

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Netflix Teases ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’; this Blogger Braces for the Worst

One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez 1967 masterpiece, is coming to… a Netflix screen near you.

Yup, the streaming giant on Friday released the trailer of the series, which is being executive produced by Marquez’s sons Rodrigo Garcia and Gonzalo García Barcha.

It is the first-ever adaptation of García Márquez’s epic novel which follows the saga of the Buendía family and the building of the city of Macondo in the middle of a swamp.

Netflix has not yet announced a date of release, but this blogger will be closely watching to see how this thing plays out one of her favorite books ever –or becomes a flop, like many things Netflix has touched in the past. So, stay tuned.

I don’t know, man, even the trailer looks… too cute for my taste.

September 19 Strikes Mexico Again; Hilarity Ensues

Today’s 7.6 magnitude quake came on the same day as devastating quakes in 1985 and 2017.

Nope, I’m not making this up. Today, Monday, September 19, 2022, at around 1:07 pm local time, Mexico City residents were shaken (not stirred) by a 7.6 magnitude earthquake, that killed at least one and damaged a lot of buildings across several states.

I first learned about it not on Twitter, but on the family WhatsApp that was going nuts with voicemail notifications from my brother and sister sounding really really scared. The first message, from my brother, came through at 2:08 pm/EST and it simply said “Está temblando,” two words any born and raised Mexican knows all too well.

Then came my sister with a 7-second message saying it was really fucking bad and then I sort of panicked.

I had been in transit but as soon as I got home I called to make sure they were OK. Thankfully, everyone was unscathed. Scared shit still, but unharmed.

Barely 7 or 8 minutes later, the memes started pouring in. It was – once again – my people’s way of dealing with calamities, from highlighting the HUGE coincidence of the September 19 date to celebrating the inevitability of our demise.

I’m just gonna post a few examples below to give you an idea of what’s going on today post-sismo, but feel free to follow this blogger’s Twitter feed to keep up in real time.

Because September

Because COVID

 

 

Because Mexicans are the Shit

Because … Let’s Skip September

hat tip: @rocos_life

This post will be updated…

Barbie Befriends Latino, Learns to Salsa, Because Hispanic Heritage Month!

In which Rafa & Barbie inform us they can travel to Puerto Rico without needing a passport

It’s only been, like, a day, but brands are already jumping on the Hispanic Heritage Month action. Take Mattel’s most annoying toy, Barbie, who is celebrating by befriending a Latino dude named Rafa who teaches her to –what else? – how to salsa.

This clip is barely a minute, but it has everything I’ve come to expect from these kind of “homages,” namely salsa, abuelas, Tito Puente, Yolanda Rivera and the island of Puerto Rico, where Barbie & Rafa remind us they can travel to without carrying a passport!

Hold on to your sombreros: The 2022 Hispanic Hellish Month is just getting started!

hat tip: @LeChancle

The NFL Changes “N” to “Ñ” to Give Logo an “Unmistakable Latin Flavor”

Remember that nonsensical trend of putting “eñes” where they don’t belong just to make something look –and sound– more authentically “Latino?”

Well, it looks like salsa makers and Hispanic journalists organizations are not alone in this thing. The latest to jump on the nonsensical “eñe wagon” (or should I say “wagoñ?”) is the National Football League, which has added an “eñe” to give its logo an “unmistakable Latin flavor.”

Ay, dios mío!

I get it. As we “celebrate” the dreaded Hispanic Heritage Month, corporations, politicians and NGOs want to sound all cute and Latin in order to properly pander to my people, but how about learning first to put the “eñe” where it DOES belong? Like in “jalapeño?” for example?

Who Needs Ramsays and Stewarts when you Have Doña Ángela?

“Hola, mi gente!” My favorite YouTuber continues to kick butt

Doña Ángela, the adorable abuelita behind the super successful YouTube channel De mi rancho a tu cocina, continues to reign on the video channel, where she has amassed (pun intended) over 4 million subscribers –and counting.

Doña Ángela is not TV famous, and her kitchen does not boast any Michelin stars, and that’s because she’s the real enchilada, cooking all kinds of delicious stuff from her humble kitchen in Michoacán. Watch her make everything, from juicy carnitas to cheese-stuffed chayotes (yum!)

But the best part of the whole thing (at least for this blogger) is that Doña Ángela continues to get way more pageviews than other folks pretending to cook online, including Martha Stewart (and her molcajete cat) and Gordon Ramsay, who once said dulce de leche tastes like shit (yup he did.)

Hat tip & chart: Latinometrics