Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
The latest installment of Jimmy Kimmel‘s Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, included some hilarious segments, in which celebrities read mean-spirited tweets about themselves.
My favorite was, of course, Sofía Vergara, who was criticized by user @mamaowl_kirby for her apparently impossible accent. Upon reading the tweet:
“Sophia [sic] Vergara sounds like she has a d**k in her mouth,” the Colombian bombshell replied in a way only she could get away with:
“What’s wrong with having a d**k in my mouth?”
Aleyda Ortiz [center] on Sunday was crowned Univision’s 8th Nuestra Belleza Latina, a title I’m sure comes with tons of responsibilities but also many perks, including cash prizes and jumping into a hot tub with a 50-plus married Cuban-American man: Univision star Raúl “El Gordo” de Molina.
I’m sure many more successes await the Puerto Rican beauty. ¡Qué viva la boricua, pues!
Photo: Twitter/Univision
Oh, and yes, he packed Madison Square Garden last night (April 6, 2014)
It took me forever to admit this. But I am a sucker for Latinos speaking with an accent. So instead of going for some serious journalistic outlet or other kind of Pulitzer-prize-winning publication, I am going to be watching #SOTUS with the adorably accented Jorge Ramos and occasionally switching to an irreverent Talking Hot Dog (who is now sort of my Twitter buddy.)
Oh, and did I mention I am NOT a so-called #millennial?
I don’t really know what’s worse: If watching a video of Tim Donnelly pledging to put a goddam gun in every goddam American home, or witnessing the pathetic, supposedly funny translation by María Conchita Alonso while clutching a pet named Tequila and informing us about the large size of Donnelly’s balls.
I am also not sure how I managed to make it to the following 3 minutes below, but I did. Sadly.
In any case, I felt I had to say sorry to my Californian friends. This blogger will be praying for you.
U.S.-born Latinos who prefer to speak English -and pretty much suck at writing in any language- can’t get enough novelty on television this 2013. First came Fusion, with its easy-to-understand English-language news shows. And now, comes El Rey Network, a new English-language cable network created by director Robert Rodriguez and backed by Comcast and -who else?- Univision.
Scheduled to launch later this month, El Rey Network was introduced in May by Univision CEO Randy Falco as part of Univision’s “firm commitment to providing Latinos with the best in-culture programming available.”
And what could be more “in-culture” than an Untitled Latin James Bond?
I’m telling you, I can’t wait for a hot, brawny mustachioed Latin man asking for his margarita, shaken, not steeeeerd.
There’s also tons of action: Mass shootings, burning cars and even a exploding brassiere or two. Take a look:
It is always refreshing to see “one of us” on the cover of high-profile magazines. But it is of special joy to this blogger to receive an image of the cover with an accompanying note by the magazine’s P.R. department hyping the awesomness of having such a smart “Columbian” beauty on their cover.
I don’t know you, but I’m off to read this thing ASAP, and try to find out if I too can become a highest-earning Latina.
Or something like that…
Hat tip: @SaraChicaD
Hispanic online media has grown to be so sophisticated, that we have web properties targeting English-dominant, Spanish-dominant and even Spanglish-dominant Latinos.
But a new contender, www.LatinaMadre.com, wants to disrupt the whole industry by launching a page in Lorem Ipsum, which is great, really, considering it’s going to be about Latina moms, and Latina daughters and Latina moms and daughters, which all sound like blah, blah, blah to me.
(Or rather, like lorem ipsum, lorem ipsum, lorem ipsum to me.)
William Levy, the most beautiful man on Planet Earth –and a so-so telenovela actor– is hilarious in these series of new spots for Pepsi Next.
Produced in English and Spanish, the spots feature the Cuban-American heartthrob cheesily playing several roles: An action figure, a rock star, a doctor, a romantic and a sci-fi guy.
My favorite, of course, is the cheesy romantic. It makes me want to grab him a Pepsi Next right this minute.
And you thought Mexico’s only contribution to this glorious country were tacos, salsa and drug-related violence…
Starting mid-August a new line of El Chavo toys will be available at major U.S. retailers, including Toys R Us, Kmart, Walmart and -ahem, ahem- Target, the corporation behind this awesome Hispanic guide targeted to non-Hispanics who wish to understanding Hispanics.
I don’t know you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on a tiny plush version of La Popis or Doña Florinda, which I’m sure are all going to be Made-in-China, but isn’t everything Made-in-China these days?
[I’d take a Ñoño doll a hundred times over this other one]
Hulu and Hulu Plus today are premiering East Los High, a Latino-themed drama set in a Los Angeles high-school.
According to press reports, the show’s creator -and director- has promised “no gardeners, no gangs, no maids,” but apparently tons of cute kids confronting each other for the love of their very young lives while wearing prom king and queen costumes.
Watch here and judge for yourselves. Will you be watching?
What happens when an old Chinese ninja master meets a group of cumbia musicians living in a Latin American slum controlled by drug dealers?
Well, I’m not really sure but we will soon find out, as MundoFox last week announced the upcoming premiere of Cumbia Ninja, an original series set in a Latin American slum (we’re not sure which one, but I guess they’re all the same,) where a young idealist and his buddies come up with an unusual way to clean up the streets where they live.
I don’t know you, but anything that doesn’t include a septuagenarian dancing around with a group of scantily-clad Latinas on a Saturday afternoon or some evil twin trying to poison the hacendado in a primetime telenovela sounds very refreshing.
This is exhausting! In addition to covering this week’s Hispanic TV Upfronts for these guys and these guys, I had to save some juicy details for the not-so-serious side of the 3-day-marathon of parties, parties and parties, programming presentations, interviews and business meetings.
* Hispanic TV Upfront week started May 13 with two networks, Azteca America and Estrella TV, holding “intimate dinners” at the exact same time in two very distant places, presumably to keep me from attending either. But, as you all know by now, I’m a sneaky Mexican and managed to attend both.
* Estrella TV brought to dinner at Tao Restaurant its most recent acquisition, Myrka Dellanos, who looked amazing and who is now going to be news anchoring instead of selling toothpaste.
* As it has been the case before, I crashed the People en Español party at Marquee, which was OK, but not nearly as as glamorous and/or fun as previous years. However, beggars can’t be chosers, so I shut up now. Besides, I must continue to be nice to them, especially to Elvis Lizardo, who famously calls me “The Mexican glue that keep us all together.”
* After surveilling the venue for some famous bellos, I realized celebrities are not the only beautiful bunch, so I proceded to propose People en Español Editor ArmandoCorrea a co-production of “Los 50 ejecutivos más bellos del mercado latino,” a list that would be curated by @miblogestublog -of course, and published and promoted by Time Inc. or someone with that kind of money. I’m thinking MundoFox’ Hernán López should go on the cover, while Telemundo’s Peter Blacker will take the back cover, though I’m still not sure. Other execs being considered: Mundo Fox’ Oswald Mendez, Telemundo’s Emilio Romano and Fusion’s Miguel Ferrer. [This blog is accepting submissions now.]
* Tuesday events kicked off at 11:00 am at The New Amsterdam Theatre, where Univision held a lavish presentation for over 1,600 guests.
* Pretty much all those 1,600 guests then walked or took buses to Univision’s after party, which took place at ESPACE, where there was not a lot of “espace” nor food to feed all those hungry mouths. At some point, many attendees grew restless and angry as waiter after waiter kept passing in front of us with trays full of food, but destined to “VIP’s only.” That didn’t stop me, however, so I quickly managed to get a hold of a VERY VIP name tag (above) in order to secure some mini-burgers.
* The stunt didn’t work and I had to settle for a peanut butter cookie that surely contained about 5,325 calories.
* Since it secured me no food whatsoever, my Randy Falco name tag made a second appearance later that night at the Telemundo upfront in Lincoln Center, where it was not as well received as I had imagined. I still wore it to go say ‘hi’ to NBCU’s Chairman of Hispanic Ventures Joe Uva, who requested my immediate removal from the premises. [I stayed.]
* The marathon continued Wednesday with a noon presentation by Fox Hispanic Media at Alice Tully Hall in Lincoln Center. The presentation included FHM’s four networks: Fox Deportes, Fox Life, Nat Geo Mundo and Mundo Fox. It attracted some big talent, including Bárbara Mori, Marlon Moreno, Mario Lopez and Oscar de la Hoya, who came onstage not wearing fishnet stockings but a pair of cowboy boots.
* After a presentation that seemed to last hours, most of us headed East towards Vme’s upfront at the Instituto Cervantes. Under new management, Vme hosted a small, intimate, sit-down presentation in a dark basement with no cellular signal whatsoever, making it the perfect setting for a much needed afternoon nap. (I caught several executives and members of the media happily snoring away, but I decided not to publish their names, mostly because it wouldn’t be fair and because I was also fast asleep.)
* The marathon ended Wednesday night with a much-needed, circus-themed party hosted by Viacom’s Tr3s and headlined by Daddy Yankee, who made even the most stiff media executive shake his/her hips. EXTRA BONUS POINT for Tr3s, which spared us the power points and the data on Hispanic TV audience growth, etc. etc. etc.
Yet, my favorite moment this week came at the Tr3s party when I was able to capture the following shot, featuring the great Eduardo Caballero, the father, grandfather, godfather of Hispanic media, and Ari Madrid, probably the craziest -and smartest- millennial I’ve ever met and one of the youngest entrants to this business.
Caballero changed the media world once. Ari will change it forever.
As this blog dutifully reported it almost one year ago, Lifetime Television has finally set a date for the premiere of Devious Maids, a 13-episode series featuring a bunch of Latino women who work as -what else?- maids.
Devious Maids is being executive produced by the one and only Eva Longoria, la “prieta faya” and this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina, who this week came out in full force to defend the series. [Oh, she also starred in this other cinematographic masterpiece.]
Judging from the trailer [below] I can see Devious Maids will touch on some of the hot-button issues that keep my people at night: Earning the minimum wage; working 80 hours a week for a bunch of ungrateful, rich bastards; getting by without health insurance and living in constant fear of deportation.
I can’t wait (to not watch it.)
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