My boyfriend brought these today and I kind of want to send them (and him) back.
Category: Marketing & Advertising
Brace Yourselves: The Gentrification of Veladoras Is Here
Prayer candles, better known among my people (i.e. The Hispanics) as veladoras, are making a splash among the avocado-loving millennial, non-Latin, non-religious crowd pushing their prices so high that you will wanna start praying for a raise.
According to this Vox.com article, a prayer candle featuring the likes of Elizabeth Warren, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Jonathan Van Ness (because they all kind of are in the same business) can cost up to $12, compared to a regular prayer candle, which you’ll find pretty much anywhere in the USA for $2 –or for very few pesitos in any Latin American street market.
University professors and religious studies experts claim this is yet another sign of the decline of religious affiliation of Americans and some even go as far as to call these colorful candles “blasphemous” and a “direct threat to the Catholic faith.”
I don’t know much about that, but consider yourselves warned: The gentrification of veladoras is here to stay.
Via: Vox.com
Tequila Cazadores Wants me to Put a ‘Summer of Tacos Calendar’ on my Desk –for Some Reason
Marketing professionals are one creative bunch.
Not content with bringing to market some awesome, creative and stupid products (i.e. the avocado toast sneakers or the Throw Throw Burrito Game) they have now conceived another innovative thing…
I give you… the Summer of Tacos daily desk calendar, a thing that promises to have me dreaming of tacos every day of the week.
The idea, writes some marketing person apparently with a straight face, is “to celebrate the unofficial start of summer and its most notorious pairing, tacos and tequila.”
These calendars –which are being pitched as a must-have desk accessory– feature word puzzles, cocktail recipes and “taco facts to impress colleagues with at the water cooler.”
Listen, people, I dream of tacos every day and no, I don’t need your must-have desk accesory. *inserts eye roll emoji*
Americans are Putting Avocado on a Stick and I’m Screaming
Was this really necessary?
The short answer is no, but it seems like Americans in general –and millennials in particular– continue to find ways to ruin everything.
According to an unnecessarily long article, this thing was conceived by some dude in Vermont to help his fellow Americans, who continue to suffer from Avocado Hand, a potentially devastating malaise affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado.
“They warn that putting avocado on a slice of bread is complicated and implies a danger, because in the United States some people have been injured trying to split an avocado, so they say that, with this presentation, enjoy the ‘green gold’ is simple and delicious.”
Oh, and don’t get me started on the plastic…
Via: Milenio
This Harlem Bodega Has Best Name Ever
Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem
La Reina del Sur Is Back –and She’s One Badass Mexican
Eight years after the debut of La Reina del Sur, Kate del Castillo (Teresa Mendoza) is back as a badass mexicana as La Reina del Sur Season 2 premieres April 22 on Telemundo.
La Reina del Sur Season 2 is set eight years after Mendoza disappeared into the U.S. Federal Witness Protection Program for bringing down a Mexican presidential candidate. Now, she is coming out of anonymity and is determined to reclaim her throne as the Queen of the South –while whacking a few bad hombres in the process.
The controversial Del Castillo became world famous not precisely because of La Reina del Sur but because of her secret meeting with Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman Loera and the now infamous Sean Penn journalistic brouhaha.
WATCH as this Mexican sorts out all kinds of shit in order to get ahead of her game.
Bush’s Beans ‘Cocina Latina’ Products are Making me Very Sad
American corporations will stop at nothing when marketing “Latin-inspired” food to my always-hungry people (i.e. The Hispanics.) The most recent example of this is Bush’s Beans Comida Latina, which features a product line of prepared beans –and hominy– just like our grandma … didn’t actually make.
This doesn’t look neither promising, nor appetizing you know?
Via: Amazon.com
Today in Awesomely Named Mexican Establishments…
Say what you will about Mexicans, but you can’t deny we have the best names for everything. Everything.
Filing under “Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?”
Via: Reddit
Americans Insist on Wrapping Themselves in Tortilla Blankets
Move over tortilla towel, here comes the tortilla blanket, the most recent addition to what I like to call Nonsense American Products (NAPS.)
The latest tortilla-themed thing is a microfiber blanket that can be yours for as little as $39.99!) The marketing pitch?
“Do you love Mexican food so much you want to reincarnate yourself as a giant burrito? […] With this giant tortilla blanket you can become a taco, quesadilla, tostada, enchilada, burrito, taquito or use your imagination.”
THE END IS NEAR, MY FRIENDS
Via: Amazon.com
‘Texicanas’ to Chronicle the Lives of Lavish Latinas in San Antonio –for Some Reason
Not content with torturing us with its Mexican Dynasties nonsense, Bravo TV has announced a new Mexican-inspired project: Texicanas, a sort of Latino Desperate Real Housewives that will chronicle the drama of… lavish Latinas in San Antonio, Texas.
According to Bravo TV:
Texicanas follows Penny Ayarzagoitia and her sophisticated gal pals through la vida loca — and rica — in the Alamo City as they juggle family and fun. Most of the women grew up in Mexico before making San Antonio home.
Judging from the preview (below) these ladies speak Spanglish; drink lots of fancy cocktails, go to shooting ranges for fun and attend parties featuring papel picado, because Mexico!
TEXICANAS MAY 7! #Texicanas
pic.twitter.com/2HQY7HBaBB— Bravo Boy (@TheBravo_Boy) 27 de marzo de 2019
Texicanas is set to premiere on May 7 and this blogger cannot wait to not watch it.
The Avocado Toast Sneakers are Here, Because Hipsters are Determined to Ruin Everything
Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well.
Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the “Saucony Originals Shadow 6000 Avocado Toast sneakers” are here for a price I can only guess will be as high as an “avocado toast.”
I’m kind of busy right now, but I’ll be filing this under the #PinchesHipsters and #StupidPropositions categories… and then proceed to jump out the window.
Via: Footwear News
Why Look Like Chabelo When you Can Look Like Brad Pitt?
Calicuts, a chain of barber shops in Tijuana, promises more than just a great “gentlemen’s care.” It will turn any local Chabelo into a dashing, young Brad Pitt.
Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?
Via: Reddit Mexico
Frida Fashion Fail in the City
I was just coming back from work and now this thing will hunt me forever…
Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem
Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!
Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate.
This thing was last seen at a local store for $5.99 –and yes, this is what it actually looks like.
If Guacammus is not for you, these people are also peddling Picomole, Apple Salsa and Cranberry Salsa among other atrocities, because why the hell not?
Hat tip: @lechancle
‘Game of Thrones’ Final Season Is Upon Us; Time for a Mariachi Farewell
The season finale of Game of Thrones is upon us, so it’s only appropriate to share this –again– and enjoy the best rendition ever of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire.
¡Ajúa!
Via: YouTube
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