That’s it! Now that Billboard magazine and the Hollywood Reporter have named America Ferrera “Hispanic Woman of the Year,” (with a gala and whole enchilada included) I decided there is no reason for me not to be nominated for something —whatever (I’m not that picky).

So while I wait for some organization to realize I’m here and contact me with the great news, I am hereby nominating myself as the “Disgruntled, non-Famous, Certainly-not-Mainstream, Harlem-Beaner-Blogger of the Week.”

And if you think I have no reasons to support my claim, check out just a few of the awards that are out there (so many awards so little time to win them all!).

-Hispanic Entrepreneur of the Year (Hispanic Business Magazine)

-Hispanic Businessman of the Year (U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce)

–Hispanic Businesswoman of the Year (U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce)

-Hispanic Engineer of the Year (NASA)

-Hispanic Science of the Year (The Museum of Science and Industry)

-Hispanic Journalist of the Year (Hispanic Media Awards)

-Inspiring Young Latinos (Selecciones magazine)

-Hispanic Heritage Award (Hispanic Heritage Foundation)

-Hispanic of the Year (Hispanic Magazine)

-Latino Lawyer of the Year (Hispanic National Bar Association)

-Hispanic Nurse of the Year (The Hispanic Nurses)

…The list goes on, and on, and on….

Just when I was getting green with envy at Penélope Cruz’ perfect, telescopic eyelashes, the company pitching them as “reaching for the stars” acknowledges they are, well, fake.

After a series of complaints before Spain’s main consumer advocate group, Consumidores en Acción, cosmetics giant L’Oréal has now modified its television commercial.

In the TV spot currently being broadcast in Spain viewers can see a tiny message on the botton of the screen that reads: “anuncio realizado con inserciones de pestañas” (commercial done with lash inserts.) Oh, dear!

In these days of alternative marketing, you see ads pretty much everywhere, but … in an egg?

A marketing company in my native Mexico, Güevomedia, is offering clients a real exposure by putting their message in “millions and millions” of eggs. I don’t know if this really works, but the firm claims the average person will look at an egg up to four or five times before actually buying one. But if this is not convincing enough, consider this: Mexicans are among the world’s highest biggest egg-eaters: the average Mexican household consumes 20.96 eggs per week.

You think it’s crazy? current and past clients include Adidas, MasterCard, Oreos, Sony and Nike.

¡A güevo!

Wanna see Latinas shine and proudly represent their culture and heritage? Don’t miss the upcoming Miss Caliente, a pageant show designed to “place the strength of Latino women in the spotlight” and now accepting sponsorship opportunities.

I first thought it was some kind of a joke until I went into the site to do some research and found out it is a real pageant to be held Nov. 6-9 in Tucson, Arizona. Among the judges: Enrique Iglesias, Carmen Electra, el Macho Camacho, Julio Cesar Chavez Jr., Julio Cesar Chavez senior and los Lonely Boys.A PR.com press release, describes the event as a unique opportunity for Latinas to shine and “to be placed in a positive light, and to proudly represent our culture and heritage.” (Menos mal!)

Lucky winners will get the 2007 title holder (duh!), the Miss Caliente crown, a photo shoot, an undetermined cash prize, a movie contract and… their very own Web site. You go girls!

If the owners of Beaner’s Coffee took 12 years to “realize” the other meaning of the word beaner, I wonder how long it’ll take for these babies to say adiós to their long-standing household name. (Thanks HighJive for the tip)

Not that I take any of this too seriously (I am still cracking up about the beaner’s fiasco) but it would be fun to see who’s next. Stay tuned!

In these days of blatant product placement, the line between content and advertising is more blurry than ever, but it is still easy to tell the difference between one and the other… until now.

A recent addition to the logo of CNNExpansion Web site, the partnership between Time Inc.-owned Expansion magazine and CNN, is quite confusing: Pasted on top of the site’s name and logo you can see a mariachi hat with the word Mexico written on colorful letters.

To this minute, I’m not sure if the sombrero is there to celebrate Mexico’s Independence month (yeah! we also extend things by the month) or is merely a product placement by the Mexico Tourism Board, whose “Visit Mexico” logo suspiciously boasts the same type and colors.

You never know, marketers seem to be getting sneakier with time.

Who says Latinos cannot make it in this country?

I just received my October copy of Vanity Fair and was happily surprised by the inclusion (for the first time, mind you) of paisano Carlos Slim in the magazine’s annual power ranking (#11).

For those of you who don’t know this, Mr. Slim is not only the owner of Mexico –he owns our phones, cellphones, banks, restaurants, coffee shops, retailers, airports, malls, computer shops, Unesco’s Historic sites etc. etc.– but recently dethroned Bill Gates as the planet’s wealthiest man.

Anyhow, in the aforementioned issue, Vanity Fair quotes an academic referring to Mexico as “Slimlandia,” simply because Slim’s empire of more than 200 companies represents a stunning 7 percent of the nation’s GDP.

Sure, he is no Rupert Murdoch or Steve Jobs –yet– but the Mexican tycoon certainly kicks ass. Want to know who’s still ahead?

1. Rupert Murdoch

2. Steve Jobs

3. Sergey Brin, Larry Page

4. Stephen Schwarzman / Pete Peterson

5. Warren Buffett

6. Bill Clinton

7. Stephen Spielberg

8. Bernard Arnault

9. Michael Bloomberg

10. Bill and Melinda Gates

I love September! and not because it is one of the most beautiful months weather-wise in New York City, but because it marks the beginning of Hispanic Heritage Month, giving way to a wealth of Hispanic-targeted marketing initiatives and thus lots of fun stuff for bloggers to write about.

And while the official celebration hasn’t even started (Hispanic Heritage Month officially runs from Sept. 15 through Oct. 15) some just couldn’t wait.

Nescafé, for example, kicked off HHM on Sept. 8, with a special outdoor screening of Cantinflas classic El Padrecito in California. In Philadelphia, meanwhile, the local paper Evening Sun is getting ready for a blast this Saturday when it will celebrate its own Fiesta. “An assortment of Hispanic foods will be served, including roast pork, rice, beans, salsa and tortillas. Dominos Pizza will also be available,” the newspaper editors inform us.

Fox News, for its part, is preparing “Noche Buena en September,” its own take of the celebration, with a special appearance of Chef Don Clark, a.k.a. “The Ambassador of Plantains.”

And last but not least, the University of Central Florida this year is expanding its celebration of “Hispanic culture” by including two countries that were not represented last year: Mexico and Spain.

So fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a chock full of marketing fun!

Marketing has mysterious ways of turning traditions into sales pitches. But Kraft’s latest Latino-targeted effort is a bit of a stretch.

The food and beverage giant has tapped former Timbiriche and telenovela actress Bibi Gaitán for its latest marketing gimmick ‘De mamá a mamá’ (From mother to mother), a program designed for busy Hispanic mothers who “go through a constant negotiation between their new lifestyle in the U.S. and their family traditions.” And here’s where the thing gets tricky: While stressing the importance of recipes taught “by abuelita,” Kraft focuses its pitch on quicky meals: Oscar Mayer hot-dogs and Ritz crackers… mmm!

But wait! For the more complex cook, there is Macaroni & Cheese dinners, accompanied by delicious Jell-O snacks, something Kraft calls “smarter food choices,” without blinking.

And just in case you are wondering what’s Hispanic about all this, Bibi shares her secret for a perfect family gathering: setting up an indoors pic-nic while enjoying Oreo cookies with, what else?, café con leche. Ay, ay, ay!

Thank God we have market research, because without it we would miss out on very important information, such as the fact that U.S. Hispanics own more charcoal grills than non-Hispanics: 76% compared to 50%

This according to the Hispanic GrillWatch Survey, commissioned by Weber, the same company that a few weeks ago launched a Hispanic grilling contest calling on participants to demonstrate their “patriotic spirit and passion for grilling” by entering the “Únete a la Onda Latina. ¡a Weber!” grilling contest.

Complementing the contest -and now the research- the company is giving Hispanics some grilling advice: “Remember that whether its seared steaks, roasted vegetables, smoked fish, barbecue ribs, pizzas or even caramelized fruits – it can all be cooked over charcoal.” (You never know with these people… they might be tempted to throw on a few bits of chicharrón, tripas, sesos or other disgusting delicacies we love to eat).