“If you don’t want to be killed by a Mexican, there’s nothing I can tell you.”
This is so ridiculous, it’s funny… and deserves a big LOL.
Category: Politics
Aspiring Mexican Mayor Uses Batmobile to Campaign Around
Awwww, Mexico…
The land of the collective smooch, the coold cocnuts and the 1-million-dollar birthday parties is also the World’s Headquarters of innovative political initiatives.
Take Valentín González, aspiring Mayor of Netzahualcóyotl, who decided it was an awesome idea to drive around the impoverished municipality in his own Batmobile. Why? Simple, because it is the only way to fight crime and stuff so he can get elected and all that.
Per the campaign itself:
“The campaign will be accompanied by our emblem, which we decided to be a Batmobile, simply because in order to reach the Mayor’s Office we’ll have to fight criminals who for a long time have disturbed the peace of our citizens.”
¡Santas elecciones, Valentín!
Via: SDPNoticias
What do Jorge Ramos and John Oliver Have in Common? U.S. Machines Don’t Understand their Accent
During a brief trip to New York for Upfronts Week, Univision host Jorge Ramos took some time to interview John Oliver.
They touched on many serious — and not so serious — topics, including Oliver’s memorable interview with Edward Snowden, which led to the following exchange:
Jorge Ramos: Why do you think [Snowden] picked you, and not a respected journalist?
John Oliver: [LAUGHTER] I’m not a respected journalist, because I’m not a journalist, I’m a comedian!
Yet, my favorite part has to be when the pair set out to discuss the subject of electronic imperialism and how bloody frustrating it is when when automatic operators simply cannot understand us, the Mexicans and the British.
See? That’s why the only electronic exchanges I can take are those involving super smart, Spanish-speaking ones that are even willing to sing La Cucaracha.
(Watch the full clip below.)
Via: Fusion
Armed with a Good Pair of ‘Cojones,’ Jorge Ramos Asks Enrique Peña Nieto to Resign
I know this video has been going around for several days now, and that many of you have already seen it, tweeted it, instagramed it, facebooked it, etc.
Still, this blog had to make sure this footage also lives here, not only for ‘posterity’ but as a daily reminder of what should be the duty of many of us: Make corrupt politicians accountable for their [disgusting] actions or, as Jorge Ramos contends, demand their resignation when necessary, which – of course – applies to this case. Absolutely.
At some point during this five-minute or so speech at a TIME Magazine gala honoring the Univision anchor he says:
In any other country, with a little bit of rule of law, the president would have been forced to resign. Guess what?
Wanna know “guess what?”….
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE ENTIRE VIDEO … I promise you, its almost as interesting as watching Jorge Ramos in Tanga.
Leave your comments below.
When it Comes to New Citizens, the U.S. is Clearly not Looking for the ‘Best and Brightest’
Every now and then I toy with the idea of becoming a U.S. citizen, but as it has been the case, I always end up leaving the project in my special To do, but won’t do list.
Still, I often test myself using apps and online citizenship tests, mostly because they remind me that — should I ever take this thing seriously — it won’t be as hard as I’ve always feared. In fact, it’s one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever come across.
Are you scared of the citizenship test? Fear no more. Here’s what’s in store for you. Relax! have a margarita (or two) and just go follow your [primary school] instincts.
Clinton vs. Rubio: This One’s Going to be Super Easy
Photos: The Internet. Collage by yours truly (2015)
Marco Rubio Wants to be President; Wife Was Cheerleader. Go, Dolphins!
I love the Internet, especially when a simple Google search gives you back some awesome information about “important” Hispanics and –in this particular case– Hispanics running for the U.S. Presidency, a field that is starting to look pretty crowded already.
Take Republican senator, scary, anti-gay, anti-immigrant former mormon Marco Rubio, who announced his presidential bid Monday, framing the election as a “generational choice” for Americans from none other than Miami’s Freedom Tower, a “Cuban American emblem,” better known for its sheltering Cuban refugees and NOT for selling Freedom Fries.
I’m not sure about Rubio’s “generational choice,” but I find it pretty weird amazing that his wife, Jeanette Dousdebes, and sister were once cheerleaders for the Miami Dolphins. I mean, that’s what Capitalism is all about, right?
Go, Dolphins!
H is for ‘Hispanics:’ Hillary Really Wants your [Hispanic] Vote
Hillary Clinton, aka the wife of the non-inhaler former President of the United States, on Sunday formally announced her second run for the White House. But she did it in the most millennial fashion: through a digital blitz in English — and Spanish — portraying herself as a champion of everyday Americans.
“La Clinton” even posted her now archfamous tweet in a so-so Spanish, in which she claims she wants to be el defensor [SIC] and not “la defensora” of the American people.
Estoy postulándome para presidente. Todos los estadounidenses necesitan un defensor. Yo quiero ser ese defensor. –H http://t.co/MnnmLkYqLd
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) abril 12, 2015
I’m not sure if I need Hillary as my defensor or defensora for anything, but I’m pretty damn sure she’s way a better alternative than this guy and certainly this other one.
Awww, if only I could vote…
Via: CNET en Español
Hispanic Jeb Bush Is the Best Thing on Twitter Right Now
My mistake! Don’t think I’ve fooled anyone! RT @JebBushJr LOL – come on dad, think you checked the wrong box #HonoraryLatino
— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) abril 6, 2015
Unless you live under a rock, in a detention center in Guantánamo or in a place without access to Twitter (very unlikely), you would have heard by now that Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush once identified himself as Hispanic in a voter registration application.
According to a Miami-Dade County document published Monday by The New York Times, Bush listed his race/ethnicity as “Hispanic,” in a 2009 voter-registration application, a fact that quickly spread over social media, giving way to some hilarious tweets, starting with Hispanic Jeb Bush himself.
The incident quickly gave way to the creation of the YebBush Twitter account, which promptly began interacting with this blogger.
Hola, amigos! Me llamow Heb. Soy Hispanico. Well, soy hispano asi asi. Only quando voter: http://t.co/qo0Z3Am1PG
— Yeb Bush (@MexicanJeb) abril 6, 2015
I say we should cut this guy some slack. He speaks fluent Spanish. His wife, Columba (NOT Columbia) Bush, was born in Mexico and for two years in his 20s, he lived in Venezuela… Besides, his Spanish is WAY better than that of many “Hispanics” I know. I promise.
Undocumented Immigrants: Why Deport them when you Can Just Send them to War?
It was only a few years ago, when U.S. Hispanics were deemed too fat and dumb to join the U.S. Army. But things are so much better now, apparently.
In its latest sneaky move to beef up enlistment, the U.S. military this week said it will be expanding a program to offer “fast track to citizenship for immigrants with special language or medical skills.”
According to a New York Times report, said program — known by the flamboyant name of Military Accessions Vital to the National Interest (yep) “seeks to increase to 3,000 enlistments this fiscal year and 5,000 in the 2016 fiscal year, up from the current limit of 1,500.”
And yes, while foreigners accepted to enlist have been legal immigrants on temporary visas, the program now welcomes “young undocumented immigrants with deportation deferrals.” Because… why bother deporting people when you can just send them to a dangerous war zone? I mean: duh.
Ever Wondered Why Some Latin American Wines Taste Like Shit?
Remember that hot Latinas wine?
Well, there’s even a better — or, rather, worse — version of that thing. It is called “Culitos” (literally “Little Assholes”) and I will not be buying it any time soon.
¡Guácala!
Hat tip: @Bathtubmedia
Let the Hispandering Begin. Ted Cruz Launches Ad in Spanish
The anti-immigration, anti-gay, climate-change denier, Canadian immigrant Christian (aka Ted Cruz) today confirmed he will be running for President in 2016, which is like sad, since I don’t think he is even remotely aware he has a zero chance of going anywhere with that.
Still, that has not deterred Cruz from launching a Spanish-language campaign, Ted Cruz para Presidente, highlighting his own condition as immigrant and pretty much making us believe his story is just exactly like the story of all immigrants in this country.
Yeah, right…
Oh, and by the way, if he is so proud of his origin, how come he is not himself addressing potential voters in Spanish?
This Mexican Mayor Lifted a Woman’s Skirt in Public at a $1-Million Party, Because Mexico
Awwww Mexico…
The land of the collective smooch and the “coold cocnuts” is also the Global Headquarters of mustachioed, sombrero-clad disgusting politicians.
In the latest Kafkaesque episode of our never boring political telenovela, Mexican Mayor Hilario Ramírez Villanueva this week jumped to the spotlight after a video emerged showing the moment he whipped up the skirt of a young woman he was dancing with.
According to several reports, the footage was captured during the mayor’s lavish 44th birthday party for which he reportedly paid a whopping $1 million and which we can only assume featured plenty of booze, drugs and babes.
Ramírez Villanueva has shrugged off his critics and has denied spending that much on his birthday bash. He even asked [politely] Jorge Ramos to refrain from mentioning his mother –this, after the Univision anchor confronted the Mayor and asked him what he would think if someone did the same to his progenitor.
Watch the interview below [in Spanish]:
See? Our ‘Abuela’ Doesn’t Always Come First
Defying all stereotypes about Latinos and our abuelas, this brave Mexican woman made her grannie take a walk, so she could properly accommodate on her wheelchair their brand new digital TV, a generous gift from the populist — and highly unpopular — government of Enrique Peña Nieto.
It’s official: Estamos jodidos, mexicanos.
Photo: via @AristeguiOnline.
McDonald’s ‘Boliviarian’ Menu Replaces Fries with Yuquitas
You know things are tough in Venezuela when hundreds of local McDonald’s restaurants decide to drop French fries from their menu.
Per the local press, more than 100 McDonald’s establishments in Venezuela have pretty much taken off French fries from their combos, claiming a nationwide shortage of potatoes.
But Venezuelans shouldn’t despair. After all, fries are being replaced by a “Bolivarian menu,” which features yuquitas, a good-enough replacement based on the ubiquitous, certainly more affordable yuca, — and hopefully less deadly than the chemically-altered McDonald’s papitas.
As my grandmother used to say: No sólo de papas fritas vive el hombre. So, stop complaining, have some yuquitas.
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