Televisa Wants Gringos to Get Hooked on Telenovelas, Too

Not content with having befuddled generations of Latin Americans worldwide, Grupo Televisa now wants gringos to get hooked on its nightly dramas.

As it turns out, the Mexico City-based media giant is the producer behind Hollywood Heights, an English-language telenovela inspired in the early 1990’s hit Alcanzar una Estrella.

Hollywood Heights, premiered June 8 on Nickelodeon and this blogger cannot wait to not watch.

Calling Home is Too Expensive? ‘El Chapulín’ Can Help!

Marketing fads come and go; videogames and apps introduce funky characters that, at best, shine for a few weeks before vanishing in thin air. Not el Chapulín Colorado, which not only lives on, but continues to serve as pitch of all imaginable products & services.

Conceived in 1970 by Mexican comedian Roberto Gomez Bolaños, El Chapulín Colorado (The Red Grasshopper) this month was tapped to help Dollar Phone Enterprises sell calling cards to nostalgia-laden U.S. Latinos.

Per a company press release, the Chapulín Colorado-branded Dollar Card is a partnership with Univision Consumer Products, a Univision division that “creates products that connect with Hispanic America.”

I don’t know you, but if I’m going to call home, I want to connect through a Chespirito-branded calling card.

¡No contaban con mi astucia!

Which TV Network is the ‘Hispanic Hollywood’? Executives Managed to Confuse this Blogger

Hispanic TV upfront week is a wonderful thing, especially when you get the chance to hear all kinds of wonderful pitches by competing networks.

Tuesday morning, for example, I learned from Univision’s President César Conde that Televisa is actually the Hollywood of Hispanics, which was, like, ‘oh, how cool,’ or whatever … Yet, barely five hours later, in another theatre not far from there, Telemundo’s COO Jacqueline Hernández came onstage to give us this…

WTH? I mean, it’s OK to treat journalists with bellinis for breakfast and non-stop bashes for four days straight, but please don’t confuse us even more with these stunts. I yet have to figure out which the real “Hispanic Hollywood” really is, but I have a very stubborn resaca to take care of first.

So please bear with me, and I promise to find an answer for you real soon… or not.

Latinas to Shine in Primetime [As Maids, of Course]

Not long ago, this was only a dream. But now the dream has come true!

Famed TV producer Marc Cherry is finally working on the pilot for Devious Maids, which will follow the “adventures” of four Latina housekeepers in Beverly Hills.

Devious Maids is based on the Televisa sitcom La alegría del hogar, but the gringo version is sure to feature a group of well-proportioned Latina housekeepers who speak with a heavy accented, though grammatically correct, English.

And guess who will producing the thing? Why, my favorite Latina ever! The multi-talented Eva Longoria (aka La Prieta Faya)

This blogger cannot wait to see what these ladies’ “adventures” will be all about, but I can only hope the show will touch on some of the hot-button issues: Earning the minimum wage; working 80 hours a week; getting by without health insurance and living in constant fear of deportation.

‘Captain Mexico’ Kicks Hitler’s Ass. Shields Himself With Huge Sombrero

First it was Burger King and its now infamous Texican Whopper. Then came Cadbury Schweppes with its mariachi-shaped flu protection device. And now Jimmy Kimmel is pissing off some touchy Mexicans with Captain Mexico, starring -who else?- Kimmel’s sidekick Guillermo, a native of Zacatecas.

Captain Mexico kicks Hitler’s ass and shields himself with a huge sombrero, because, really, what else was he going to protect himself with?

Watch, enjoy and let the madness begin.

Otro hat tip al manito, que parece que sólo me da hat tips de sombrerazos

 

Univision’s Randy Falco Faces Tough Job Ahead

You should always trust this blogger when she tells you someone is onto something.

Not sure you remember this, but Univision’s COO Randy Falco was hard at work May 19th posing for the cameras and showing Univision’s owners he was not only fit for the top job, but could easily hang out with some of the network’s big-breasted most talented people.

Falco today was appointed Univision’s President and Chief Executive Officer (CEO).

Congrats, Randy, now can you go get some Spanish lessons?

Univision CEO Joe Uva Leaves Post to ‘Be Able to Seek Other Opportunities,’ Namely Unemployment

Univision CEO Joe Uva has left the company to “be able to seek other opportunities,” Univision announced today.

But what’s really weird is that they don’t want to tell me where the hell it is that he is going, and rumor has it that he might have gotten the boot. His last day is April 2.

I don’t know you guys but I feel a bit sorry for the guy. After all those years of tireless work and efforts, he didn’t even have time to master his Spanish… But he shouldn’t worry too much. Judging from his stellar appearance as a piragüero in one scene of the hit Brodway show In the Heights, I’m sure he’ll be able to find a gig in the barrio.

His specialty? Piraguas de Uva!

Buena suerte, Mr. Uva. I’ll look you up among my neighborhood’s piragüeros.

U.S. Hispanics Brace for the Ominous Advent of Laura… [And it’s not Me]

U.S. Hispanics, rejoice: Starting today (Feb. 7) Laura Bozzo’s Laura talk show will launch on the TeleFutura network.

Bozzo has been torturing entertaining Latin American families for years, first in her native Peru (where not even a three-year house arrest took her show off the airwaves) and then on Mexico’s TV Azteca, with Laura de Todos. But this time, la señorita Laura is coming to the U.S. courtesy of Grupo Televisa, Univision’s partner and programming supplier.

The new show, which in Mexico is called Laura de México promises U.S. Hispanics a showcase of “real-world” family situations and, hopefully, some more avenging fights and coming out dramas exposing -and embarrassing- Latin America’s minimally-educated, lower classes like the one shown below.

Aren’t you glad television is embracing diversity?