The Ultimate Hispanic Guide to NATPE is Here!

telemundoTalent

Did you miss this year’s NATPE? Worry no more; this blogger was there and had some very special access to famous gathering of TV producers. The NATPE, Content First (“Primero contentos”) 2013 conference took place this week in Miami, welcoming more than 1,000 attendees, of which “a huge percentage” was either Hispanic or Latin American.

So, without further ado, here are the Ultimate Hispanic Highlights (UHH) of the 3-day gathering, brought to you exclusively by Mi blog es tu blog:

1. The percentage of Spanish-language attendees to this year’s conference was “huge,” said  NATPE President and CEO Rod Perth, who doesn’t seem to be very much into hard data.

2. Many non-Hispanic attendees seemed puzzled about why everybody was walking around wearing a name tag with the name “Rosario” printed on it, making introductions and business dealings awkward at times.

Yeah, we all gave each other that Lorena Rojas look
Yeah, we all gave each other that Lorena Rojas look

3. A San Juan-based company pitching a cooking show from Puerto Rico stuffed its contact information  -and informative USB- inside a coffee bag. My laptop smells delicious.

4. A Spain-based company named ERREQUERRE announced the opening of a Miami office… and a very wise decision to undergo a name change very soon.

5. Sierralta Entertainment has produced, and sold, a new TV show called Latin Angels, featuring bikini-clad reporters that look like this. (No chance for me to get a job there.)

latinangles

6. For some reason I have yet to comprehend, Ecuadoreans are crazy about Korean telenovelas dubbed into Spanish.

7. The folks over at Venevision International handled business from an amazing suite on the 30th floor of the Fountainbleau Hotel (from which they threatened to throw this blogger at some point.)

8. Mojitos -what else?- were the beverage of choice during NATPE’s inaugural bash Sunday night.

9. Univision’s Programming Chief Alberto Ciurana swears there’s great menudo at a Mexican fonda on Calle Ocho and promised to take me there one day. We’ll see.

10. Telemundo’s VP of corporate communications Michelle Albán is the evil twin of La Doctora Polo (in addition to being the Hispanic evil twin of Sandra Bullock)

doctoraPolo

(NOTE: Alban continued to ethnic profile this blogger by ordering nachos during a luncheon/interview at Eden Roc Hotel)

11. Harris Whitbeck, CEO of Zodiak Latino, hosted a Spanish-language panel, leaving many gringos in the room scratching their heads upon learning Whitbeck is white AND Guatemalan. [Yes, we have güeritos there too. Now you know.]

12. Catherine Fulop and Fernando Carrillo are back together! They “star” in a yet-to-be-produced telenovela (La Magia del Amor) which will in fact star two young kids who are neither Fulop nor Carrillo. The reason? They do NOT look like this anymore.

fulop_carrillo

13. Telenovelas continue to dominate the market; though reality series featuring boys and girls who text all the time (i.e. Gossip Girls Acapulco) seem to be taking off.

gossip-girl

14. Christy Haubegger, funny as hell as she usually is, was actually serious when she stated at a panel that: “It’s exciting to see that we’re moving from Spanish-language programming to programming to Hispanics.”

15. I sat next to Juan Soler at a Telemundo luncheon and failed miserably in my attempt to pinch his butt.

16. I saw Soler once again Tuesday night and while I was not yet able to accomplish my pinching goal, he graciously agreed to pose for a photograph. (Thanks, Veronica!)

Photo: Verónica Villafañe (Mediamoves.com)
Photo: Verónica Villafañe (Mediamoves.com)

17. A short visit to the Univision headquarters gave this blogger a first-row seat to a live airing of El Gordo y la Flaca. Alas, Raúl de Molina declined to go into the jacuzzi with me pretending he had a broken foot or something.

18. Rodner Figueroa showed up and gave me a peace sign.

Rodner

19. Overall, media companies and media outlets have gotten pretty good at writing “Colombia” and not “Columbia” when talking about the South American country.

20. “Content First” is English for “Primero contentos.”

BONUS CONTENT: Watch 9:33 minutes of La Magia del Amor below:

Why Legalizing Pot Could Boost Hispanic Employment

As Washington prepares for the inevitable (i.e. legalizing pot in several states), another groundbreaking discovery is about to take place: That those experienced with rolling delicious tacos might be in for some new, exciting employment opportunities. Think the cigar-rolling Dominicans in this Seinfeld episode, or -even better- Snoop Dog showing us what is really behind an expert taco roll.

Snoop Knows Best – Taquito from mun2eschido on Vimeo.

Univision Journalist Pays Awkward Homage to Don Francisco

The celebrations around the 50th anniversary of Sábado Gigante have included everything, from a one-on-one interview with this blogger in Queens, to an October 27th telecast that registered over 7 million total viewers.

But none of these festivities comes close to the homage paid by journalist Tony Dandrades, a Univision anchor and reporter for Primer Impacto. Watch. Cringe. Enjoy. Repeat if necessary.

BREAKING: Disney’s Princess Sofía is not Latina; Just a Regular non-Latina Fake Princess

Ay, caramba!

I just got word from Alex Nogales over at the National Hispanic Media Coalition (NHMC) and this is what he had to say about the whole Disney Latin Princess Non-News News:

“Yesterday we met with Nancy Kanter, Senior Vice President, Original Programming & General Manager, Disney Junior Worldwide, to discuss Disney Junior’s “Sofia the First.” She shared that “Sofia the First” is in fact not a Latina character and that the producer of the television program misspoke. We accept the clarification and celebrate the good news that Disney Junior has an exciting project in early development that does have a Latina as the heroine of the show. NHMC has agreed to share its writers alumni list from the prestigious NHMC/NLMC writers program in an effort to help create authentic, three-dimensional Latino characters. We appreciate Disney/ABC’s commitment to diversity and look forward to seeing more Latino lead characters as the stars of their shows.”

As Dra. Polo would say: Case is Closed!

Why I Will Never Identify with Disney’s ‘Latina’ Princess

I was totally going to pass on the whole “Disney has a Latino princess” “news.” But then I saw the “outrage” coming out from Latino-defense groups, including the Latino Coalition of Latino Groups that Defend Latino Things and Get Totally Pissed at Latino things on Mainstream Media… and other similar outlets.

The last straw came when NBC News’ Natalie Morales came out to say that she totally feels identified by Sofía, which made me get up from my afternoon siesta and take a stand, literally.

I feel duped. How on Earth am I supposed to feel identify with Sofía if, –according to Disney’s executives themselves– she is half-Enchancian and half-Galdizian, and I’m only half-chilanga and half-tapatía?

Can somebody please explain?

Univision’s New Logo Looks Like my Eyeglass Case

Univision this week announced the upcoming launch of a new corporate logo and image, an announcement so huge, it made the company’s CEO Randy Falco join Twitter.

According to a Univision statement, the new logo:

“Signifies its growth and transformation, and celebrates the culture of innovation built over the company’s 50-year history.”

I have no idea what any of this means, but I am starting to suspect these people were so jealous of my new glass case (in full display during my Queens interview with Don Francisco,) they decided to go with it, and since they’re powerful and stuff, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Oh well… You, readers, be the judges.

Harry Reid Really Cares About the Latino Vote; Uses Piñatas as Background to Prove it

CNN on Sunday Oct. 7 will premiere Latino in America: Courting their vote, a documentary on the Latino outreach efforts by Democrats and Republicans.

The promo features an interview with U.S. Senator Harry Reid, who goes on about how important the Latino vote is for the Democrats in Nevada, and yada-yada-yada. To prove it, the Senator poses among a bunch of sandías, melones and colorful piñatas, including one in the form of a huge Corona bottle at the local Cárdenas supermarket.

How sweet! He reminds me of Mitt and Conchita.

¡Ajúa!

So… Romney Got a Fake Tan to Look Like These People?

Unless you live under a tanning bed rock, you’ve surely read by now all about the alleged fake tan sported by Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney at this week’s Meet the Candidate forum on Univision. [Or, as Wonkette put it so appropriately: How Romney donned a brown face “to appear on forum with Mexicans.”

The potential of a ‘spraytanned Romney’ was so hilarious, that many failed to see the irony behind the effort. I think it doesn’t matter if Mr. Romney’s tan was fake or actually real as Univision/ABC later reported. The funniest thing to this blogger is how -with or without a tan- Mr. Romney would have been the darkest of the three people onstage.

Mr. Romney’s advisers would be well advised to watch more Spanish-language TV to see what television Latinos actually look like.

[Watching a telenovela like this one wouldn’t hurt either.]

Univision Launches ‘Psychic Franchise,’ Because Hispanics are into Psychics and Stuff Like that

While you were busy watching the Republican and Democratic conventions, Hispanic media powerhouse, Univision Communications, launched Antahkarana, an “esoteric, mystical franchise” featuring none other than Victor Florencio (aka “El niño prodigio.)

The reason is plain and simple:

“Hispanics have demonstrated a deep fascination for spirituality and astrology,” said Rick Alessandri, a senior vp at Univision Communications, and very likely a non-Hispanic, who couldn’t care less about psychic advice.

Antahkarana includes a daily TV segment featuring astrological and psychic advice; a digital presence on univision.com/antahkarana and a toll calling hotline for fans to connect with psychic advisors.

Watch “El niño prodigio” in action and be ready for your mystical immersion.

Eastwood, Brewer, Rubio Provide Tons of Entertainment to this Blog’s ‘Political Coverage’

You gotta give it to Republicans for giving us, bloggers, (and Jon Stewart) some truly memorable moments during an otherwise dull (and very white) event.

This blogger’s top 3 Tampa highlights:

Marco Rubio asks for more government; less freedom… by mistake, that is.

Jan Brewer (aka The Wicked Witch of the Southwest) endorses Barack Obama… by mistake, that is.

Then, Clint Eastwood comes onstage and makes a fool of himself –and the Republican ticket– apparently NOT by mistake, by talking to an empty chair.

Oh, the fun!

O.C. High-School Asked to Drop ‘Señores & Señoritas’ Event

Oh, Man! Why do media outlets have to come and ruin the fun for everybody?

Take this Anaheim Hills High-School in Orange County, whose students have been asked to drop a “Mexican-themed Day,” and exchange it for some “sensitivity training courses.” I mean… booooooooring!

Tell me: Where are these poor, unimaginative kids going to get their kicks now?

[This blogger is not making this sh*t up. Click on the above photo to watch the clip or watch here

Comedy Central’s Idea of ‘Funny’ is a Bunch of Mexicans Competing in a Siesta Contest

You guys know I’m all up for funny & irreverence. But there are things that -when done badly- are just not really that funny.

Take this commercial via Wieden + Kennedy Sao Paulo, Brazil, which actually made it to the short list of Cannes and pitches Comedy Central as a TV channel “as serious as we are.” It kicks off with the following copy:

“Between 1 pm and 3 pm in the afternoon, there are more people taking siestas, than there are people working in Latin America.”

Here’s the video. Watch (if you’re not busy taking a siesta, that is) and tell me what you think. Funny? Hilarious? Not so much? Dumb? *

*Do leave a comment. Don’t be lazy like a Latin American!

Sombrero tip: @adictivomag

At Last! Liberman Drops ‘José Luis Sin Censura’

It was about time!

After an 18-month campaign by media organizations and gay and lesbians defense leagues, Spanish-language media juggernaut Liberman this week said it will drop ‘José Luis Sin Censura,’ a show it describes as the Hispanic Jerry Springer, and which was really nothing but a daily extravaganza of offensive comments and on-air verbal and physical attacks on people, especially homosexuals.

Watch here what you’ll be “missing” from now on (if you can stomach it, that is.)

More footage here