Category: Why I Love Mexico

Trump Wants His Border Wall to be Transparent, so People Don’t Get Hit on the Head with Flying Drugs

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Who would want to be hit on the head with one of these?

Mr. Donald Trump is a very creative fellow, so it shouldn’t surprise you to know he has come up with an awesome idea for that U.S.-Mexican wall he will build and my people will pay for it: He wants to it to be transparent… The reason?

Here’s how the president actually explained this to journalists:

“As horrible as it sounds, when they throw large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them. […] They hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over.”

Wow! It’s all so simple, yet brilliant! And I’m glad to have such a thoughtful leader in charge of the free world.

Gracias, Señor Presidente!

Mexican Veganism Is Veganism I Can Actually Embrace 🐷

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Vegan crumbs to spice up your fish, chicken and steak. Yay!

Are you a MEAT lover, but want to get into the whole healthy-vegan-kale-gluten-free hipster BS trend thing?

Worry not. My people have come up with an amazing idea!

I give you Vegan Bread Crumbs, a gluten-free, vegan product you can safely use to bread your fish, chicken and — YES — steak.

All this is good news, because veganism is great but, come on, you gotta eat animals!

Chomp, chomp… 🐷

Trump Meets Peña Nieto in Germany. A Tragicomedy Ensues

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It was brief –and painful.

U.S. President Donald Trump and Enrique Peña Nieto on Friday had their first face-to-face meeting since Trump took office, and while the encounter lasted only a few minutes, it was enough for El Trumpo to assert that he’ll “absolutely” have Mexico pay for his famous wall.

Fortunately for this blogger — and the world at large — Mexican tuiteros came through to spice up the otherwise tragic encounter.

Here are only a few of my favorite Twitter moments of this year’s G-20 meeting. Be sure to come back, as I’m going to be updating this post throughout this hilarious/tragic day.

Leadership

Real Life Memes

Clueless Leader

Hear No Evil

What? I didn’t Hear Anything

Human Sacrifice

Video via ABC News

Move Over, ‘Guardians of the Galaxy;’ Mexico Wants you to See ‘Guardianes de la Galatzia’ Instead

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It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep blogging, when Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Stories et al keep beating me to the punch, like, by the second. But there are things that are just so beautiful that they deserve to be immortalized in this venerable, non-for-profit, read-by-nobody blog. And this is one of them.

So there. Enjoy. And repeat after me: “Mexicans: How can anyone not love us?”

This Laser Hair Removal Biz in Brazil Wants you to Know Frida Would Have Been Better off Using their Services

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Ummmm, no

Some laser hair removal shop in Brazil called Espaçolaser thought it would be a great idea to use a Before-After image of Frida Kahlo showing how unbelievably different (presumably better) she would have looked AFTER undergoing a hair laser removal therapy with them.

Well, I’ve got news for you, people:

Ummmm, no!

Go home, Espaco Laser, you’re drunk.

Group Wants Immigrants to Speak English; Americans not Required to do the Same

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Sure, dude, whatever!

The Center for Immigration Studies, a so-called think tank I’ve never heard of, has published a very long report that basically concludes immigrants are illiterate and that Hispanics, in particular, “lag far behind other migrant populations in the U.S. when it comes to developing proficiency in English.”

The study, of course, was widely cited in several conservative publications, notably the Drudge Report (duh) and even gathered enough steam to call for an end of political correctness and launch a national Speak English Initiative.

“The importance of English literacy cannot be overstated,” wrote Jason Richwine, the author of the study and yet another person unknown to this blogger. “Without language proficiency, immigrant families will find it difficult to succeed in the mainstream of American society, and high rates of English illiteracy may be a sign of poor immigrant assimilation.”

In other words, as Mrs. Palin has warned us repeatedly: If you, people, want to be here… let’s speak American!

TAKE IT AWAY, SARAH!

Mexican Entrepreneurship Knows No Limits: Flood Edition

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Mexico City looked like a scene of an apocalyptic movie on Wednesday afternoon as a powerful storm hit Mexico’s capital, flooding entire avenues, several subway stations and even private homes and shopping malls.

But, as you — loyal followers of this blog — have learned by now, there’s no stopping the creativity of my people (i.e. The Mexicans) in the face of adversity.

Just WATCH:

Video by: @LoboSinLuna

This Fashion Designer Will not Leave Home Without Tajín, Because Life without Mexican Spices Is Dull

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Tajín: Don’t Leave Home Without it
I don’t care much for fashion designers, nor what they carry — or not — in their bags when they travel. However, you have to give it to Luxury Menswear designer Michael Bastian for informing us about his obsession with Tajín, the ubiquitous Mexican spice that has been getting traction among — who else? — hipsters and millennials on this side of the border.

As Mr. Bastion himself wrote in New York magazine:

I’ve seen people use it to rim a margarita glass, to shake on watermelon and oranges, or on scrambled eggs. Amazing on corn on the cob. It’s great on everything, particularly in the summer. Keep it in your carry-on and go crazy.

So far so good, Michael, and we’re willing to go crazy with you, but here’s a useful, free-of-charge piece of advice: Why pay $9 for a 14 oz. Tajín bottle in Amazon when you can buy, like, dozens of those in Mexico for that price? I mean, nobody wants to be taken for a ride, and I’m sure you’re not the exception…

You are welcome.

Hat tip: @minsd 

Attention, Mexicans! The Border Wall Will be Solar, Cheaper, so We’ll Have more Money for Tacos

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Sick of bad news? I have some good news for you. No, actually I have some GREAT news for y’all.

Our Commander in Chief this week reiterated his promise to build a huge, beautiful wall along the Mexico-U.S. border. But unlike previous reports, it looks like this thing will not be your regular wall, ¡no señor!: It will be a solar wall, one that will create energy, and thus will pay for itself. That way, said the-man-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, “Mexico will have to pay much less money, and that’s good.”

But that is not good, it is SUPER good, because you know what “much less money” spent on the wall means, right? It means we’ll have extra cash for tacos, tamales, garnachas and the like. So, YAY!

Make Garnachas Affordable Again!

Just WATCH!

#MGAA

This Mexican Dude Has Changed His Name to Trump –and I Can’t Stop Laughing

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A 34-year-old Mexican-American dude who brands himself “The Undeportable One” is such a fan of you-know-who that he decided to change his surname to… Trump. The move, mind you, was approved by a judge.

According to The Daily Mail:

“Heavily tattooed Ernesto Baeza Acosta filed a petition to change his name to Ernesto Trump, and called on the President to invite him to the White House.”

Apparently this dude is also into making videos (see one below) and in a recent one you can see him proudly saying:

“You can call me the undeportable one, you can call me the President’s son or you can call me Ernesto Trump.”

Oh, and just in case you were wondering: All this happened in — where else? — TEXAS!

Anyhow, I’m like super busy but must keep laughing…..

Via: DailyMail, what else?

Mexico Tied 2-2 with Portugal and Mexican Twitter Didn’t Disappoint

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This hashtag…

European champions Portugal made their entrance at the FIFA Confederations Cup Russia 2017 against Mexico on Sunday, a match that ended in an almost unbelievable 2-2 tie and many amazing Mexican memes — of course.

Here are some of this blogger’s favorites:

In a Nutshell

Love is Everything

The Floor Is…

We All Love and Hate Chicharito

Portugal Shaking

Chicharito’s Big Fan

The Simpsons predicted this, of course

… It Worked!

 

This Beer Features Donald Trump Wearing a Mariachi Hat and a Swastika Belt Buckle — for some Reason

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No, I don’t feel like buying/drinking this thing

People have got to stop doing this.

According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”

The “innovative” product comes on the heels of the Trump-inspired toilet paper and other crazy ideas out there.

I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.

So… wake me up in 2024, will ya?

Via: Univision