Category: Why I Love Mexico

Attention, Mexicans! The Border Wall Will be Solar, Cheaper, so We’ll Have more Money for Tacos

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Sick of bad news? I have some good news for you. No, actually I have some GREAT news for y’all.

Our Commander in Chief this week reiterated his promise to build a huge, beautiful wall along the Mexico-U.S. border. But unlike previous reports, it looks like this thing will not be your regular wall, ¡no señor!: It will be a solar wall, one that will create energy, and thus will pay for itself. That way, said the-man-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, “Mexico will have to pay much less money, and that’s good.”

But that is not good, it is SUPER good, because you know what “much less money” spent on the wall means, right? It means we’ll have extra cash for tacos, tamales, garnachas and the like. So, YAY!

Make Garnachas Affordable Again!

Just WATCH!

#MGAA

This Mexican Dude Has Changed His Name to Trump –and I Can’t Stop Laughing

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A 34-year-old Mexican-American dude who brands himself “The Undeportable One” is such a fan of you-know-who that he decided to change his surname to… Trump. The move, mind you, was approved by a judge.

According to The Daily Mail:

“Heavily tattooed Ernesto Baeza Acosta filed a petition to change his name to Ernesto Trump, and called on the President to invite him to the White House.”

Apparently this dude is also into making videos (see one below) and in a recent one you can see him proudly saying:

“You can call me the undeportable one, you can call me the President’s son or you can call me Ernesto Trump.”

Oh, and just in case you were wondering: All this happened in — where else? — TEXAS!

Anyhow, I’m like super busy but must keep laughing…..

Via: DailyMail, what else?

Mexico Tied 2-2 with Portugal and Mexican Twitter Didn’t Disappoint

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This hashtag…

European champions Portugal made their entrance at the FIFA Confederations Cup Russia 2017 against Mexico on Sunday, a match that ended in an almost unbelievable 2-2 tie and many amazing Mexican memes — of course.

Here are some of this blogger’s favorites:

In a Nutshell

Love is Everything

The Floor Is…

We All Love and Hate Chicharito

Portugal Shaking

Chicharito’s Big Fan

The Simpsons predicted this, of course

… It Worked!

 

This Beer Features Donald Trump Wearing a Mariachi Hat and a Swastika Belt Buckle — for some Reason

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No, I don’t feel like buying/drinking this thing

People have got to stop doing this.

According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”

The “innovative” product comes on the heels of the Trump-inspired toilet paper and other crazy ideas out there.

I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.

So… wake me up in 2024, will ya?

Via: Univision

‘Super Mario Odyssey’ Adds Mexico Level; Sombreros and Guitars Galore, so Yay! 🇲🇽

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New level takes place in a Mexican town called — what else? — Tostarena

Some people are really losing their sh*t over Super Mario Odyssey, Nintendo’s upcoming game for the Nintendo Switch set to release in October.

The reason? Among the challenges to be faced by our cute mustachioed friend is a new “Mexican level,” a town called — what else? — Tostarena, which is populated by “colorful skull-headed creatures in ponchos and sombreros.”

Not only I’m not offended by this idea; I’m so totally looking forward to playing this thing. I mean, everyone here looks very happy, has a guitar, wears a sombrero and — I can only hope — eats tostadas all day.

So, ¡ajúa!

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Mexican Politician Plagiarizes ‘House of Cards’ Speech, Because Mexico

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What could possibly go wrong?

Awww, Mexico, the land of the surreal and pure awesomeness…

In the latest political faux pas, a local politician in the state of Tlaxcala thought it was a great idea to copy, almost verbatim, a speech by the super evil Frank Underwood, of House of Cards.

In a short video posted on his Facebook account, Miguel Ángel Covarrubias, repeats one of Underwood’s most famous speeches, calling for “opening doors and closing paradigms” to end up in a dramatic: “The past has brought us here, and here is only the beginning of a great story.” Which I believe refers to the fifth season of House of Cards.

Anyhow, while Covarrubias defended himself from the criticisms saying the copy was “intentional,” Netflix responded in style by using another evil character from House of Cards, Doug Stamper, to reprimand the Mexican politician … in his own language:

“Imitation is not always the best form of flattery”

Via: CNET en Español

Having Solved Mexico’s Most Pressing Issues, Peña Nieto Moves on to Protect Marine Wildlife

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Enrique Peña Nieto mesmerized by the ‘vaquita marina’ as Leonardo DiCaprio looks on

Mexico might be on the brink of social unrest and political disaster — and it’s clear we will never know what happened to the 43 of Ayotzinapa — but our nation’s Commander in Chief has set his sights on one important cause: To protect the vaquita marina, the “world’s rarest marine mammal” with the aid of two unusual partners, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim and Oscar-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

And why is this important, may you ask?

Per the local media:

Vaquita porpoises – the smallest of six extant porpoise species, can become entrapped in the nets and subsequently die, which has led to a sharp decline in their numbers.

Yeah, they seem to be vanishing, just like students from marginalized rural colleges around Mexico. SAD!

At this point I’m not sure which one of my “two countries” I’m most ashamed of.

Via: Mexico Daily News

Who Needs Banks When you Can Have Tacos Instead?

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El Rancho, formerly NY Capital Bank, East Tremont and Park.

If there was any doubt that Mexicans have taken over the USA, take a walk on the wild side… of The Bronx; more especifically, around Webster Avenue, one of the borough’s longest throughfares, and you’ll come across El Rancho, formerly NY Capital Bank, and now home of some of the most delish Mexican food in the area.

Because, really, who needs walls — and/or banks — when you can have tacos?

Photo: Laura Martínez, Bronx, NYC

Donald Trump Failed to Gather Enough Votes at this Week’s ‘Burro’ Competition in Mexico

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Nobody wanted to vote for poor Donald

Despite the hype — and much anticipation — Donald Trump proved to be a real disappointment this week in Mexico.

And no, I’m not talking about the dimwit who sits in the Oval Office, but of another kind of burro: an adorable donkey who failed to even make it to the finals at the Annual Festival del Burro in Otumba, Mexico.

According to my always reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) Donald Trump was the most hated among the 50 donkeys that took place in the bizarre competition. The reason?

The discomfort towards what Donald Trump represents caused that many attendees to the fair did not even want to vote for him […]

Well, I guess you can say anything about those pesky Mexicans, but they seem to know better when it comes to cast their vote.

Via: Diario 24 Horas

 

Meet the Unicorn Taco: It Hails from Tijuana, and Proves the End of the World Is Near

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Move over, Unicorn Frapuccino.

My people (i.e. The Mexicans) have concocted the “Gobernador Unicornio Taco,” which can be prepared with shrimp or marlin and can be yours for only a few pesitos at La Cahua del Yeyo, a local seafood restaurant in — where else? — Tijuana.

Now you know.

Let’s all go hang ourselves –or something.

Via: SanDiegoRed.com

 

Ted Cruz Wants ‘El Chapo’ to Pay for Trump’s Border Wall with his Many, Many Chapo Monies

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I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

The big news this week coming from the always brilliant Republicans is The Chapo Act, a proposal by — who else? — Cuban American dimwit Ted Cruz to have Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán to pay for a border wall.

But why? Well, because you don’t know this but El Chapo has many, many monies; more specifically, $14 billion in what look like beautifully crafted bills featuring his bald mugshot.

Here’s the original tweet sent out earlier this week by Cruz himself, just so you can see how hard it would be to make this sh*t up!

As I asked yesterday, shouldn’t a Chapo Act be an initiative to build tunnels and NOT walls?

But I get it. This is the Trump Administration, so nothing makes any sense anymore and we’re just going to have to go with it.

Take it away Golum!

This Mexican Cemetery Was Used to Make Porn Movies, Because Mexico

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Porn actress Janeth Rubio took to Twitter to show off the awesome location of her most recent film

I bet you’ve never heard of Mezquitán, Jalisco, but that’s OK, because there’s nothing really going on there… Until this week, when a local porn actress informed us that she had been filming her latest feature film at the neighborhood’s local cemetery.

“Where do you think I just shot a scene?,” Janeth Rubio asked her Twitter followers. The answer: A selfie and several other pics showing Rubio at the Mezquitán Municipal Cemetery.

Local authorities said they have opened an investigation and promise to punish the perpetrators and all that. But this blogger would like to plead with them and show some mercy to this young creators. After all, I bet that is the most exciting thing that has happened in Mezquitán in, like, forever.

So, give these people a break, will ya?

Via: Excélsior