Being Hispanic in America Used to Be Challenging; Now It’s Outright Dangerous 😱

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I’m not going to lie: These days –after many, many years living on this side of the border– I’ve become increasingly uneasy about doing things that I normally would do in public: Speak Spanish, wear hoop earrings, say outloud I’m Mexican a mucha honra, etc. etc.

The reason? As I keep saying on Twitter, being a minority in America used to be difficult, yes, but now it’s just plain dangerous.

Barely days after an anti-Mexican nutcase shot dozens of people in a Walmart in El Paso, Texas, many of them fatally, another member of the “I Am a White Dude Who Hates Hispanics” clan was arrested after making a series of social media threats against Hispanics in the Miami area.

According to multiple press reports, Eric Lin, a Maryland native, sent a bunch of threatening messages on Facebook professing his nazi beliefs, and vowing to exterminate the entire “Latin Race” [sic] which he also referred to as “rabid dogs.”

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Lin then went on to praise the “great president” of this nation, who as we all know kicked off his presidential campaign by calling us criminals, drug-dealers and rapists.

Coincidence? Ummmmmm….

Thanos Twerks around Tacos and Tortas in the World’s Most Amazing Commercial

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A restaurant in Boca del Río, Veracruz has found a winning combination to sell its products: Footage from Avengers: Infinity War, tacos, tortas and a super fun evil Thanos that twerks to show his penchant for Mexican food.

A commercial posted on the Facebook account of Takesabroso, shows Thanos delivering his now-famed deadly snap as he dissolves half of life on Earth. But instead of retreating to a quiet life until the Avengers come back seeking revenge, he is inspired to twerk around delicous tacos and tortas.

Watch the original tweet where this appears before Marvel’s lawyers get on this…

Via: TaKeSabroso

The World’s Best Salsas also Boast the World’s Best Name

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Filing under ‘Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?’

Mexican meat market Super Carnicería la 18 in Tamaulipas claims to serve The World’s Best Salsas, a claim this blogger is not able to independently corroborate. However, one thing is undisputable: The Madafaker Salsa Verde and The Sanababish Salsa Roja have the World’s Best Name Ever. Ever.

Hat tip: Salsa correspondent –and friend of Roberto Carlos– @LeChanclé

‘Fresh Mexican Waters Any Flavor?’… Yeah, Mexicans Will Understand…

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After all these years in “America” I still haven’t found an accurate way to translate “aguas mexicanas” into English. Some would say “juice” (no, they’re not really juices) while others insist on “ice-tea”. Nope. Tampoco.

Google Translate, of course, doesn’t help either, so I think my paisanos in this Harlem deli are right: Aguas frescas mexicanas has got to be “Fresh Mexican Waters.”

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2019

Tiny Mexican Hitting an ICE Piñata Is Truly Therapeutic

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Say what you will about my people (i.e. The Mexicans) but they truly know how to let off some steam without being, like, super violent.

Take this children’s party in Chicago, where tiny, adorable children (like this cutie in a Peppa the Pig shirt) are seing hitting an ICE piñata and throwing balls into a painted image of President Trump.

A video circulating around social media is stirring some controversy among “certain sectors” (presumably non-Mexican sectors.)

As for this blogger, I have only one thing to say: ¡Dale, dale, dale, no pierdas el tino, porque si lo pierdes, pierdes el camino!

Via: ABC 13

Portland Is Hosting a Topless Taco Festival, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

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Have you always wanted to eat tacos and burritos while naked? Here’s your chance!

In an effort to raise funds –and awareness– around breast cancer, Portland is hosting a… Topless Taco Festival where visitors are encouraged to come topless for the tacos and booty short-clad for the burritos.

And no, unfortunately this is not some sort of joke or fake news, but an actual event that is scheduled to take place in Portland on August 17. Why? Because apparently nothing says fight cancer like being naked while eating tacos.

Filing under ONLY IN AMERICA and STUPID PROPOSITIONS.

Via: Facebook

At Last, the Complete Set of Mexican Emojis in One Image

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MEXICANEMOJIS

I’m almost certain that the readers of this blog will be able to identify all of these (otherwise, shame on you!). Needless to say, this blogger’s favorites are El subcomandante, the torta and the trompo al pastor.

Still, hit me with questions (i.e. leave a comment below) if:

1) You fail to identify all of these

2) You think there are some missing

Happy World Emoji Day y’all!

Hat tip: @RomiGoma

Still Can’t Cut a Damn Avocado? The Flexicado is Here to Help

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Undeterred by the imminent danger posed by life-threatening avocados, non-Mexican hipsters simply refuse to give up their fascination with avo-toast (i.e. pan con aguacate) and other nonsensical avo-related things. So, they have come up with a solution…

I give you the Flexicado, an “avocado slicer” that will fit all sizes of avocados and –hopefully– will put an end to avocado-related injuries.

Filing this under #PinchesHipsters

Hat tip: San Francisco avocado correspondent Jessica Dolcourt

There’s a Taco Bell Hotel in the Works and I Can’t Even

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Not content with giving the mighty taco a VERY BAD NAME, Taco Bell is close to opening The Bell, a Taco Bell-themed pop-up hotel, which has some people really excited –for some reason.

According to an inexplicably long news article about this thing:

At 10am PT on June 27 you will be able to book your stay at The Bell. The first check-ins for the four-day pop-up begin on August 8. There’s no minimum stay, so you can even just pop in for a single evening.

Activities will include the brand’s Freeze Lounge, live performances from artists and –wait for it– a salon offering taco-inspired nail art.

Send in the nukes. I’m ready….

Via: Desert Sun

Trump, Still Strong Among Grammatically-Challenged Latinos

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While president Donald Trump claims that his crusade for more border security and the construction of a southern border wall have made his popularity rise among Hispanics, pollsters consulted by Politico and other media outlets have put those numbers into question. Not only that, a closer look to recent polls show holes in the methodology and show that Hispanic support for the president is not really on the rise.

Percentages and polls aside, Latinos and Latinas (or as some like to say “Latinx”) who still support the president would be well-advised to proofread their Spanish-language messages.

Via: @stonecold2050

Last time I checked, the correct Spanish translation of Latinos for Trump was Latinos por Trump and not Latinos PARA Trump” as some will have you believe. But I guess they don’t really care, do they? Heck, they even have their own t-shirts!