Hold on to your Sombreros: Cinco de Mayo 2022 Is Here!

There seems to be a ton of Cinco de Mayo festivities in the Tampa area –for some reason.

No matter how many bizarre holidays Americans come up with, Cinco de Mayo will forever be my favorite. And not only because it’s an excuse to drink all day and yell ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s Mexican Independence (it’s not) but because it is also the time of year that brings out the stupidest most creative marketing brains to sell Americans everything, from DIY printable fiesta kits and taquito shooters (whatever that is,) to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic food” and even life-size cardboard Mexicans as scene setters.

Etsy T-shirts, anyone?

Nacho de Mayo, because why not?

This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing tool known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline using the #CincoDeMayo hashtag. This has only begun, so, please help me by tweeting me your own personal horrors for 2021 Cinco de Mayo and let the “Mexican” madness begin!

Ah yes, the special churro doughnut

The southern lady who cooks

These people

The spicy financial goals

Taco Bell, man!

Note: This post will be updated on a regular basis.

 

Holy Week in Mexico: Time for Jesus Accidents Nationwide

Photo credit: Pulso DF

You may not know this but Semana Santa (Holy Week) is a very important religious holiday in Mexico, and among the many events that take place during the course of the week, the so-called passion play is one of the most popular — and well-attended. It consists of a representation of the via crucis, and involves everyone, from workers, students and housewives who become actors for one day to play the roles of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Nazarenes, the apostles — and other characters (not all of them strictly Biblical) including a spy, a dog, and a wandering Jew.

In the play, when Christ gets captured, we see him carrying a cross a long way and until he reaches a location that represents Mount Calvary. In the most famous of these representations (the one that takes place in Iztapalapa) we see Christ carrying his cross from the town’s main square to the nearby Cerro de la Estrella in the heart of Mexico City.

Unfortunately, not all Mexican towns and cities have a mountain or even a hill around, so they resort to crucify Jesus on pretty much any location, including an electricity pole. This, as you can imagine, can have bring about some funky accidents.

JUST WATCH. ¡Pobre Jesús!

Mexicans Vote on whether President Stays or Goes; Looks Like Zapata Is Winning

Mexican president holds his ballot for Sunday’s referendum on which he scribbled “¡Viva Zapata!” effectively -and intentionally- nullifying his own vote.

Mexicans this Sunday are going to the polls on whether their president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (aka AMLO) should end his six-year term or continue to the end.

The referendum, unusual for the country, will only binding if at least 40% of the country’s electorate votes, and AMLO is hoping on his popularity to achieve that figure.

He is so confident he’ll get the votes that he intentionally nullified his own ballot by scribbling “¡VIVA ZAPATA!” on it.

And -fortunately for this blogger- the memes have started to pour in…

This blog post will be updated throughout Sunday, because qué risa!

Ohio Politician Asks “Are you a Racist? Do you Like Mexicans?” Hilarity Ensues

Ohio Senate Candidate J.D. Vance on Tuesday released an advertisement asking Ohio voters if they “hate Mexicans.”

Soon after making its debut across social media, the 30-second spot had amassed more than 300,000 views on Twitter. And this blogger is pretty sure it had to do with Mexicans like herself jumpin in to troll him like only Mexicans can.

Below, some of my fave reactions (starting with yours truly, of course!)

Chente!

Torchy Tacos

At the ballgame

Speak American

Dreadful

Mic drop

Blogger’s note: This post will be updated throughout the day, because ¡qué risa!

FIFA Unveils Qatar 2022 Official Mascot; Hilarity Ensues

An Arabic word, La’eeb describes a “super-skilled player” that “encourages everyone to believe in themselves.”

FIFA on Friday officially unveiled La’eeb, the official mascot of the upcoming 2022 World Cup in Qatar.

La’eeb, FIFA explains, is an Arabic word meaning “super-skilled player” and it is here to “encourage everyone to believe in themselves.”

But, as this blogger rightly expected, La’eeb was quickly embraced by the Mexican meme machine, with one Twitter user rapidly turning him into a trapo para las tortillas.

Filing under Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?

Listo para las tortillas. h/t: @LuisValLe_A on Twitter

 

The Will Smith-Jada Pinkett Piñata Combo Is here, Because Mexico

I’m not gonna get into the ‘cuernos’ and Bud Light thing ’cause I’m busy but you get the picture

It is official: Sunday night’s infamous Oscar slap has now been immortalized in the form of a piñata thanks to the folks of famed Piñatería Ramírez in northern Mexico.

The Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith piñatas come as a bundle with some questionable looks on either character, but omg look at those tears!

In case you’re wondering, being immortalized in the shape of a piñata is as prestigious as having been inducted into the Mexican historical hall of fame.

Photo via: Piñatería Ramírez on Facebook

South African ‘Mexican’ Chips Unleash the Fury of Mexicans on Reddit

Reddit Mexico has been abuzz with an overwhelming outcry against a South African corn chip snack.

The reason? Apparently, some Mexicans feel it’s super offensive to depict “one of our own” with a caricature of a mustachioed dude, wearing a giant sombrero and flanked by a cactus.

I get it, with the exception of yours truly, not all Mexicans like to wear giant sombreros when attending “culturally-relevant” parties. Yet, I’m much more offended by the look of these sad chips -and their apparent lack of delicious spicy flavor (or should I say “flavour?”)

Via: Reddit Mexico

Simon Leviev, the Tinder Swindler, Is Now a Piñata… Because Mexico!

Simon Leviev (aka your worst Tinder nightmare) makes it to Piñatería Ramírez

It is official: Simon Leviev (aka Yehuda Hayut and the Tinder Swindler, has been immortalized in the form of a piñata thanks to the folks of famed Piñatería Ramírez in northern Mexico.

The Tinder Swindler piñata comes with –what else?– a bunch of credit cards on his left hand, and a romantic bouquet of roses on his right. Oh, and look at those shoes!

In case you’re wondering, being immortalized in the shape of a piñata is as prestigious as having been inducted into the Mexican historical hall of fame.

Photo via: Piñatería Ramírez on Facebook

Feeling Lonely in this Pandemic Super Bowl Sunday? Get Yourself some Insta-Mexicans!

They are festive, colorful and –more importantly– not contagious!

Are you still in lockdown, on a tight budget for fancy avocados and still haven’t made any “ethnic-looking” friends?

Worry not!

You can now buy 5-feet-tall Mexican “scene setters,” ready to assemble and give your Super Bowl party a unique fiesta touch. It’s as easy as bashing a piñata! Besides, with the pandemic still in full swing, WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE AROUND, ANYWAY?

For only a few bucks, you can pretend to have real Mexicans at your birthday, bautizo, quinceañera, wedding, etc. These Insta-Mexicans are over 5 feet high; they won’t eat all the tamales, nor gulp all the beer or crash in your living room forever.

So, what are you waiting for? Go get your Instant Mexicans ahorita mismo!*

*I bet these are totally Made in China, but just pretend you didn’t read this note at all.