Hat tip: Dabria Misko
California Bar Gave Away ‘Green Cards’ for Climbing Inflatable Wall, Because Cinco de Mayo
Speaking of awesome Cinco de Mayo marketing ideas, a bar in California decided it was a great idea to celebrate the faux Mexican holiday by offering … fake green cards to drunken patrons willing to climb an inflatable border wall.
Wait. What?
According to the always reliable Gustavo Arellano, Hennessey’s Tavern, in Dana Point, California thought it was idea to build a “wall” and offer patrons willing to climb it a “green card,” which would not actually grant them legal status, but get them a free drink, because nothing says “fun” as drunken gringos wearing sombreros and climb walls, you know?
It looks like the promotion — and several videos associated with the stunt — have all been deleted from the bar’s Instagram account, and the establishment in question has since apologized. But, hey, haven’t these people heard about screenshots *and* pesky bloggers?
Via: OCWeekly
Mike Pence to Host White House Cinco de Mayo Party; this Blogger Might Be Dead by Then
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Should this blogger appear motionless in bed tomorrow and/or vanishes from your timeline, please refer to the footage below.
FOR CONTEXT PLEASE CLICK HERE. I. Simply. Cannot. Go. On.
Donald Trump Failed to Gather Enough Votes at this Week’s ‘Burro’ Competition in Mexico
Despite the hype — and much anticipation — Donald Trump proved to be a real disappointment this week in Mexico.
And no, I’m not talking about the dimwit who sits in the Oval Office, but of another kind of burro: an adorable donkey who failed to even make it to the finals at the Annual Festival del Burro in Otumba, Mexico.
According to my always reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) Donald Trump was the most hated among the 50 donkeys that took place in the bizarre competition. The reason?
The discomfort towards what Donald Trump represents caused that many attendees to the fair did not even want to vote for him […]
Well, I guess you can say anything about those pesky Mexicans, but they seem to know better when it comes to cast their vote.
Via: Diario 24 Horas
It’s May Day in New York City: Time for Signs in Funky Spanish!
I’m not sure they meant to say “narcisista” or “racista,” but 👊🏽
Photo: Laura Martínez, May 2017. Union Square.
Meet the Unicorn Taco: It Hails from Tijuana, and Proves the End of the World Is Near
Move over, Unicorn Frapuccino.
My people (i.e. The Mexicans) have concocted the “Gobernador Unicornio Taco,” which can be prepared with shrimp or marlin and can be yours for only a few pesitos at La Cahua del Yeyo, a local seafood restaurant in — where else? — Tijuana.
Now you know.
Let’s all go hang ourselves –or something.
Via: SanDiegoRed.com
Ted Cruz Wants ‘El Chapo’ to Pay for Trump’s Border Wall with his Many, Many Chapo Monies
I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
The big news this week coming from the always brilliant Republicans is The Chapo Act, a proposal by — who else? — Cuban American dimwit Ted Cruz to have Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán to pay for a border wall.
But why? Well, because you don’t know this but El Chapo has many, many monies; more specifically, $14 billion in what look like beautifully crafted bills featuring his bald mugshot.
Here’s the original tweet sent out earlier this week by Cruz himself, just so you can see how hard it would be to make this sh*t up!
The US government is seeking the criminal forfeiture of $14B+ in drug proceeds & illicit profits from El Chapo. https://t.co/5SElazzr9X pic.twitter.com/wkIp10NEik
— Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) 25 de abril de 2017
As I asked yesterday, shouldn’t a Chapo Act be an initiative to build tunnels and NOT walls?
But I get it. This is the Trump Administration, so nothing makes any sense anymore and we’re just going to have to go with it.
Take it away Golum!
This Steakhouse Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a $100 Margarita, Because Why the Hell not?
Every single year, for as long as I can remember, American corporations do their best to step up their Cinco de Mayo game by launching one ridiculous thing after the other one. Every. Single. Time.
This year, the contenders for this blog’s Stupidest Cinco de Mayo Marketing Effort Award include Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse, a California eatery that will celebrate the nonsensical, American-made “Mexican holiday” with a $100 margarita.
Sí, señor. One hundred dolaritos for a pinche margarita, which features “premium liquor, including Tequila Herradura Selección Suprema and Grand Marnier Centenaire.”
But wait. How does a mix of Herradura and Grand Marnier justify such a high price? I’m glad you asked!
According to an unnecessarily long press release, the $100 margarita “is served in Baccarat’s uniquely designed Diamant Highball, and guests will be invited to take home the glass in Baccarat’s iconic red box.”
OKAY, then, I guess it all makes sense now.
Kill me now.
Hey, Reuters: This Time it’s Actually Columbia, Not Colombia
Via: Reuters with h/t by Moses Frenck
This is Why Mexicans Can Never be on Time …
When a Mexican asks you to meet at 17:00, it means you should meet at 5 PM. But not always; sometimes 17:00 also means 7 PM, because Mexico’s perception of time is a thing of beauty.
Now you know.
Want to Brush up on your Spanish? CamSoda’s Hot Girls and Live Webcams Are here to Help
Working in tech has its perks, including getting outrageous pitches in your Inbox that will make you go WHAT?!
Enter, Camsoda, a new entertainment/webcam platform that prides itself of being “the first-ever adult language-learning service that combines multilingual cam models and cutting edge translation technology to make learning a new language fun and sensual.”
I am going to spare you the graphic details, but if you’re so inclined in taking up a super sensual language, say Spanish, you can head over here.
Oh, and by the way: What if we, the ladies, want to learn a language too? Where are the hot machos?
WARNING: NSFW
The TriceraTACO Will Keep your Sad-Looking ‘Taco’ in Place
Move over, plastic taco-truck. Here comes the TriceraTACO, a machine-washable, plastic dinosaur that will hold your hard-shell disgusting tacos for only $13! Please note that given its shape and size, this thing will only hold those things Americans insist on calling a “taco” and will never be suited for a decent al pastor…
The TriceraTACO is now on sale on — where else? — Amazon.com, home of the Deluxe Mexican Yoga Mat and the Mexico Will Pay for the Wall jumpsuit.
¡Que viva el nonsense y el marketing!
Hat tip: Verónica Calderón
Sushi Tacos Are the Latest Food Craze, Because some People Want to Watch the World Burn
Not content with ruining everything with the taco-topped pizza, the Quesalupa and the Biscuit Taco, Americans are at it again.
Meet the SUSHI-TACO, the latest food craze that will soon take over your Instagram account.
According to my very reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) sushi tacos first started popping up on Instagram thanks to Tail and Fin, a restaurant in — where else? — Las Vegas, which is serving up “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell.”
But. Wait. A. Second.
Guess what, you dimwits? A “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell” is not a taco, it’s just sushi, so stop it already!
Via: Metro.com.uk
Someone Made a Pizza Topped with Tacos and Guacamole, Because New Jersey
Tony Boloney’s, an eatery in — where else? — Hoboken, NJ, has concocted The Taco Pizza, an abomination made of queso Oaxaca, carne asada chipotle and a “solid heaping of cheese on top of pizza dough.”
Keep reading on the link below. I’m going to go throw up.
Via: Thrillist
‘The Daily Mail’ Joins the Columbia-Not-Colombia Nonsense
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 