UFO ‘Experts’ Go to Mexican Congress, Show Proof of Non-Human Mummies, Hilarity Ensues

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This week Mexico made International headlines – again – and not because of our awesome, September-themed delicious meals or for yet another scary temblor.

This time, our national embarassment hails from an unusual presentation at the Mexican Congress, where lawmakers heard testimony from a group of UFO “experts” who suggested the possibility that extraterrestrials might exist.

Yeah, NOT making this up.

Per The Associated Press:

Mexican journalist José Jaime Maussan presented two boxes with supposed mummies found in Peru, which he and others consider “non-human beings that are not part of our terrestrial evolution.”

Maussan was part of a group of researchers who showed up at the storied Mexican Congress building to display a couple of shriveled bodies with shrunken, warped heads who – according to this blogger – looked more like the bastard children of E.T. and Baby Yoda.

Mexico being Mexico, the whole thing became not only an international embarassment but – of course – a source of so many memes this blogger cannot stop laughing.

Here are some of my faves:

FIND YOURSELVES SOMEONE WHO…

QUINCENA BLUES

SAME, SAME

YUM!

TAMALIEN

SOPE ALIEN, ANYONE?

IN A NUTSHELL…

¡Qué pena con las visitas!

It’s a Volcano… It’s a Concha… It’s the Conchatépetl!

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Why eat a regular concha when you can eat a Popocatépetl-inspired concha.

Mexicans have done it again, my friends.

As our capricious Popocatépetl volcano rumbles back to life, scaring the living hell out of many Mexicans (yours truly included) a baker in Puebla has come up with a brilliant idea: To bake a Popocatépetl-inspired concha called — what else? — the Conchatépetl.

It comes stuffed with strawberry to “simulate” the lava, and it costs only $20 pesitos.

Filing under Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?

Mexico: Home of “Entrepreneurs” –and “Quotation Marks”

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Photo: Laura Martínez. Coatepec, Veracruz. December 2022

Awwww, Mexico… The land of the coc nuts coold and the Special Chapo Coffee, is also ground zero for small businesses –and plenty of quotation marks.

A recent trip to the Mexican states of Hidalgo, Querétaro and Guanajuato just confirmed what this blogger always suspected: My people just looooove quotation marks.

Check out the following gallery (by yours truly) to see only a few examples of our love affair with the ubiquitous comillas.

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Then again… Some small business owners just take the simplest — and yet still adorable — way to peddle their wares, like this clothing store in Pinal de Amoles, Querétaro:

Clothes
Clothing

 

 

Here’s to Romina: Apple of my Eye, Music Companion, Sweetest Girl Ever

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Riding the NYC subway in style, because pandemia!

Well, hello, Romy McLane:

You might not know this, but I have been trying to keep a diary since you got sick, bonita.

Rest assured it is not a drab, depressing detailed medical minutia some people might expect. It is rather (or hopes to be) an upbeat, objective timeline to try to keep track of where things stand today (March 30, 2023) – and what has happened since you entered a cold hospital room on Feb. 17 with nothing but a bad back pain.

I know this sounds selfish, but I want (need) you to know you have been on my mind 24/7 since that Sunday afternoon when my brother called – in panic – saying you might be very, very sick. Fortunately, things have been better ever since and I’m here to be close to you. For as long as it takes.

Yes, there were doctors who gave up on you at some point, only to be told to basically FUCK OFF because, I mean, you are only 28. Screw them. We’re fighting this to the end. Go, Catus-Condo!

Of course you know this, but there is an army of well-intentioned people who adore you and who are doing all we can to move Heaven & Earth to make sure you’re OK. We know you’re calm, painless and asleep right now and that gives us peace.

If life has taught me anything, is that the medical profession can do wonders, but not nearly as much as the army of people sending you prayers and great vibes on a regular basis, every day, all the time: Did you know we got folks sending you thoughts and love from places like Austin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Belica, Berlin, Los Angeles, Miami, New York City, New Paltz, Manila, Munich, Tijuana, Toluca, Querétaro, Washington D.C., and Zagreb, like EVERY SINGLE DAY? Yeah, you’re worth that – and so much more.

We got you, bonita.

You mean so much to so many of us, that you’d be well advised to come out of your beauty sleep and come sing, dance with us.

Take your time, of course, we’ll be here for your curls, your voice, your ukulele –and your incredibly witty sense of humor.

Sing alone, Romy McLane! 🎶 🎶

CDMX Has Had it with Airbnb –and why I’m Back

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This condominium does NOT agree with Airbnb

So, I’m back in Mexico City, this time – unfortunately – on a not-so-happy family emergency. And while I juggle my time between work, family gatherings and hospital visits, I try to roam about the city as much as possible to try to figure out how the so-called “digital nomads” are transforming my beloved D.F. (Spoiler alert: Not in a good way.)

I see a lot more signs in English (and I’m not even in Roma or Condesa) and prices of pretty much everything have gone to the roof. Yet, the food is glorious and my people are kind.

I’ll be here for a while, so expect more Mexico-related posts vs. the usual Bad-gringo food ones. Oh, and if you’re around, hit me up for a semi-happy hour or something.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Colonia Nápoles. March 2023.

The Oscars Are Still White, but the Oscar Statuette Is Mexican

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It is no secret that Hispanics continue to be underrepresented in the entertainment business (that is, when they don’t call us to play the maid or the mean narcos.)

But some of us couldn’t care less, because there is something far more interesting: The 8-pound, 24-carat-gold-plated statuette that will be handed out at the Academy Awards Sunday night is said to be modeled after Emilio ‘El Indio’ Fernández, a Mexican director –and actor– who used to live in Hollywood in the 1920s.

And while many people still dispute that story, I believe it’s true and will remain true as far as this blog is concerned.

[Oh, and incidentally, El Indio Fernández was actually acquainted with my mom, who was Mexican although not really “colored,” but that’s a whole other story.]

¡Viva México cabrones!

Via: NPR

I Ventured into Aisle 11 to Find out What they Meant by “Hispanic Foods”

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Photo: Laura Martínez. Catskill, NY 2023

Intrigued about what Americans understand to be “Hispanic Foods,” I ventured into aisle 11 in a Catskill, NY supermarket only to find a bunch of non-Hispanic, definitely-NOT-Mexican, dubious looking things, including Old El Paso’s Tortilla pocket kits, large cans of taco seasoning, Juanita’s Nacho Cheese Sauce and other such horrors.

I was kind of hoping to at least grab me some Hispanic cheese, but nope; no cheese was to be found in aisle 11. Perhaps there’s a Hispanic cheese aisle I’m missing, so I’ll go look for it and will keep y’all posted.

CBS Wants you to Know Bad Bunny Sings in Non-English

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If you caught the Grammy Awards ceremony last Sunday (and you are someone like me always looking for the awkwardness) you might have noticed the closed captioning during Bad Bunny’s opening act, which was… well… awkward.

And that is because while he was presenting or singing away, the captions only read “[SPEAKING NON-ENGLISH]” and “[SINGING IN NON-ENGLISH]” apparently, because that’s the language spoken by my people.

Ok, CBS, I get it. To be real honest, I have no idea what he’s talking *and* singing about most of the time. Still…

The only great thing about the closed captioning brouhaha is that someone came up with the awesome idea of launching a non-English Spotify list, featuring –who else?– Bad Bunny himself along with other English –non-English– performers.

Photo: Variety

Someone Came up with Gender Reveal Taco Parties and I Can’t Even

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This has gone way too far

And just when I thought tacos hadn’t been insulted enough in this country, today I learned about a new, disturbing trend: Gender Reveal Tacos, featuring plasticky, rosca-like niños dios and what looks like pink and … green tortillas –for some reason.

As someone who has long detested the entire premise of gender-reveal events, I’m really not quite sure what people are supposed to do with the above. Are the proud parents-to-be supposed to eat the plastic babies? Wrap them in a pink –or green– tortilla depending on the creaatures’ so-called gender?

Also: Does throwing a big serrano in the mix is a hint to let us know it’s going to be a … boy? (please go Google “chile” as a nickname for penis, etc.)

So many questions!

Perhaps, as one of my Twitter followers put it, the economy is so sucky right now, that El niño has “picked up a new gig doing gender reveals since the rosca wasn’t cutting it.”

Hat tip: Becky Hammer on Twitter

 

The George Santos Bobblehead Is Here –and Can Be yours for Only $30

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George "Mentirosillo" Santos

The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum has unveiled the official George Santos bobblehead, featuring a smiling Santos, complete with a blue sweater-suit combo and –what else?– a Pinnocchio-like nose.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or don’t work in breaking news like yours truly) you’ll know by now that Mr. Santos, a Brazilian native, has been caught in his own web of lies and deceits: From claiming his mom was in the Twin Towers on 9-11 to allegedly bilking a veteran out of money raised to pay for his sick dog’s surgery.

This figurine is now available online and can be yours for “only” $30 and it’s not just going to sit there doing nothing. It will actually play clips of some of Santos’ biggest lies in his own words at the touch of a button.

The best part? The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum is pledging to donate $5 from every sale to “selected dog-focused GoFundMe Campaigns.”

Don’t lie, you know you want it!

Photo: National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum 

Poor Newsmax Host Can’t Find Doll that Looks Like His Daughter

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First things first: I do not watch Newsmax, and quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to since I don’t have cable TV.

However, I couldn’t help but flagging a clip I found online about Rob Finnerty, a poor white television host who can no longer find an American Girl doll that looks like his daughter, because the popular doll brand has been … wokeified.

“My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified”

Funny how the existence of a few black and brown dolls in a world where white dolls rule still triggers this kind of panic in white, right-wing folks.

Get yourself together, Roberto, we’re not that scary!