Gulf of Mexico to be Renamed Gulf of America

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Remember the Absolut brouhaha?

Remember the Alamo?

Well, none of those contentious binational wars would ever come close to what’s looming behind a moronic proposition to rename the Gulf of Mexico as Gulf of America. The brilliant idea popped into the head of State Rep. Steve Holland of Mississippi, most likely because there’s not a lot to do in  Mississippi, so people have plenty of time to think over important stuff.

I couldn’t make this up… even if I tried.

State Rep. Steve Holland (D) has introduced HB 150, which says that “for all official purposes within the state of Mississippi, the body of water located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson counties shall be known as the ‘Gulf Of America’; and for related purposes.”

So from now on and without further ado, I am going to go choke on my café americano, ahem, café mexicano.
Hat tip: Bathtub Media

Denny’s Wants you to Think of Dogs When You Eat a Delectable Sizzling Skillet

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And speaking of innovative marketing ideas, Denny’s has decided it is a good idea to link dogs with a sizzling meat fajita.

In what this blogger considers a marketing –and gastronomical– faux pas (I grew up eating tacos al pastor outside my local subway station) the restaurant chain has tapped famous dog behavioralist César Millán (aka ‘The Dog Whisperer’) to help a Latino family deal with an extremely “aggressive” meal, a Western Beef Sizzling Fajita thing.

I don’t know you, but after enduring watching the 3-minute thing, I felt like getting myself a veggie meal. I do not want to think of dogs when I see a sizzling fajita. Or viceversa.

But watch it yourselves and let me know what you think!

Target Thinks Diversity is Awesome. Introduces ‘Bodega’ to Sell Hispanics Cheap Stuff

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Please tell me I am delirious or suffering from some kind of exhaustion-fueled maladie and none o this is true.

Turns out some great marketing mind over at Target Stores has come up with the Bullseye Bodega, offering not only online coupons, but heavily “discounted items in a store-within-a-store.”

Click here for a hilarious video review by the folks over at LatinoRebels.

So now you know.

You’re Hispanic and don’t shop at the Bullseye Bodega? Shame on you!

 

Romney is NOT Mexican, But He Wouldn’t Mind Univision Spreading the Word Out

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As everybody knows by now, Univision’s Jorge Ramos this week sat down with both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney to discuss some issues relevant to the Latino voter, for example, when and how are they going to bomb Cuba and kill the Castros.

However, this blogger’s favorite moment came when Romney denied being Mexican-American, but yet asked Ramos to spread the word out, thinking that little “white lie” would get him ahead among the Latino electorate.

You don’t believe me? Just watch!

 

New Latino Dating Site Wants to Hook You Up With a ‘Sexy Culo Latino’

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It had been a while since anybody pitched this blogger such a juicy, sexy -and sexual- new venture, so I was ecstatic to hear LatinDating is up and running.

I have no idea who Jim, Laura, Helen and Maria are, but given the carefully-crafted copy on the homepage, I can tell you they know a thing or two about Google search analytics, using words like culo, sexy, Latina, free, sex, etc. in no particular order, and following no grammatical rules whatsoever.

Ay, caramba!

 

AhorroCel Prices are so Low, You’ll Be as Surprised as Finding Out Your Son is ‘Maricón’

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Mexican cell phone distributor AhorroCel wants you to know their low prices are so AWESOME that you’ll be as surprised as finding out your son is a maricón…

I’m warning you, people, if you -or someone you know- has ever come across a maricón, this video is almost sure to go viral in 10….9….8…7…6………..

Hat tip: Who else? Ricardo Trejo

Mercedes’ Chief Thought Using ‘El Ché’ to Peddle Luxury Cars Was an Awesome Idea

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Yeah, this was the image that gave Mr. Dieter Zetsche a big P.R. headache and forced him to apologize to the Cuban exile in Miami.

Turns out the head of Daimler’s Mercedes unit, didn’t stop to think that using the image of El Ché to peddle a luxury car was not going to sit well with many people … especially the Cuban exile in Miami, who think El Ché is pretty much the same as the diablo en persona.

Ah… the wonderful world of marketing!

CBS Changes Name of Upcoming Latino Show ‘Cause Typing an Upside Exclamation Point is a Bitch

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If Fox News Latino my sources are right, CBS’ upcoming “Latino-themed sitcom” starring Rob Schneider will be changing its name to Rob! from the previous ¡Rob! because people at CBS just found it too hard to type an upside exclamation point every time they wanted to promote the damn thing.

Scheduled to premiere Jan 12, Rob! centers around a gringo character named Rob (duh) who marries a Mexican, and gets “immersed” in the whole Mexican family experience (all this from a gringo point of view, of course.)

Rob! features some Latino luminaries, including Eugenio Derbez and Cheech Marin, which I can anticipate will be doing the funny accent thing and plenty bean-related jokes for our viewing pleasure.

I cannot wait for this thing show to start, as it promises to be great fodder for Mi blog es tu blog. You don’t believe me? ¡Just watch!

Now You Can Enjoy Latin America Without the Dangers and Annoyances of Latin America

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Attention, non-Hispanic Americans: Are you afraid of being killed in Mexico? Mugged in Central America? Sickened by some deadly bug in Peru or killed by the chikungunya virus in the Caribbean?

Worry no more!

Thank your undocumented and documented Hispanic immigrants for the latest trend in U.S. tourism: Latin American cultural immersion trips in the confort of your own city!

Sí, señores! Latinos are a smart bunch, so we are using the very same neighborhoods we took away from gringos to lure them back, and invite them to get a taste of our fun, dance, food and drink-filled culture! (And no, you don’t need to get a passport, nor take a malaria pill or take a kidnap ransom insurance.)

You are welcome…

So, welcome to El Barrio!

Unshocking Revelation: Rich Latin Americans Have Maids [Black, Indian, Same Difference]

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It is so interesting when news of racism outside the U.S. reach the U.S., simply because it is a historically-charged, sensitive issue.

The picture above -first published in HOLA! magazine, has reportedly caused some “outrage” in several media outlets, mainly because of the presence of two maids in the background.

The outrage, as I understand it, has to do with the fact that the two maids in question happen to be black, which is, of course, unusual to many Latin Americans who are mostly used to hire indians as help.

My point: Should that picture featured a couple of indian maids (inditas as rich people would lovingly call them) wouldn’t make so many of us blink, would it?

Classism is kind of OK… but racism? God forbid!

Will You Help Me -and Burro Hall- Raise Some Money to Buy BoycottAbsolute.com?

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Dear friends, followers and supporters:

This blogger is hereby joining forces with Burro Hall to make a bid for the “valuable assets” of the soon-to-be-doomed Americans for [sic] Legal Immigration organization, which, as we sadly learned today, is heading towards bankruptcy.

Per an urgent bulletin (LOL) first posted on Burro Hall:

We are sorry to report that for the first time in our organization’s history, we have failed to reach our minimum operational expenses for our final funds drive of 2011. All things being equal, this would put us on a final shutdown date of January 1, 2011

Among other things, and in an effort to raise about $10,000 by February 2012, ALIPAC is putting several web domains on sale, including BoycottAbsolut.com, the organization’s reaction to my now infamous “unAmerican” advertisement, and pitched as a “rapidly growing separatist movement in America.”

So Whaddaya say?… Will you all chip in and help us buy at least that one? We promise you months of hilarious pro-illegal immigration postings!