Mitt Romney Cares for Hispanic Voters. Visits Conchita Foods to Prove It

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Only one thing is more pathetic than a politician campaigning for votes: A Republican politician courting U.S. Hispanic voters.

Watch Romey as he visits South Florida’s Conchita Foods to receive the endorsement of three Cuban-American GOP heavyweights (Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Mario Diaz-Balart and his brother Lincoln Diaz-Balart).

The four amigos might not be in agreement on hot-topic issues like immigration, but I’m sure they all agree Conchita Foods offers some delicious frijoles negros and dry lentejas.

Deeelish!

OMG, You Guys! The Strauss-Kahn-Diallo Saga Comes to Telemundo… Well, Not Really

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I though this was going to be yet another bleak week, but then I remembered Telemundo’s Una Maid en Manhattan premieres tonight (8:00 PM/ET) on the Telemundo channel.

In a nutshell, this is the story of a terribly-good-looking hotel maid (Litzy) who moves to the U.S. with her little son, gets a job at a swanky hotel and meets a dashing hunk (Eugenio Siller) which confuses her for one of the rich hotel guests… because, as we all know not all maids look like Nafissatou Diallo, nor all hotel guests are as disgusting and horny as Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

This is a maid-to-order feel good story and very likely great fodder for Mi blog es tu blog.

So stay tuned. I will keep you people posted on this impossibly-realistic love story.

New Hispanic Mom Site Treats ‘Gringas’ as ‘Otras’

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The folks at CafeMom today announced new funding -and some editorial hires- for their upcoming blog Mamás Latinas.  And while I am not a mom per se, I am certainly a Latina (and a very nosy at that) so I quickly went to the site and signed up to see what’s going on.

Alas, the Mamás Latinas will not be live for another couple of months, but I was happy to see their registration page was a happy mix of English, Spanish, Spanglish and even some un-PC language when it asks visitors to fill up their “tradition.” Are you Mexican? Guatemalteca? From “Sud América”? or are you simply an “Otra” or a “Gringa”?

Yikes! Thankfully my “tradition” is 100% Mexican so I had no problema checking my  box.

Now I’m just going to sit patiently and wait for my Kmart / Sears-sponsored information.

How do you Say ‘Plum Tomato’ in U.S. Spanish?

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One of the most beautiful things about language is that it manages to re-invent itself, transforming the names of otherwise unpronounceable stuff into things we (phonetic-language-speaking people) can understand -and pronounce properly.

How else would you explain the wonderful transformation of “plum tomato” to plontomero?

I don’t know you but these plontomeros would be delicious in this type of salad.

Here’s your Hispanic Mayonnaise to go with your Hispanic-Inspired Tuna

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When it comes to reaching Hispanics, marketers are a real creative bunch.

First came Procter & Gamble with its groundbreaking research concluding Hispanics love to smell. A little later, McDonald’s concocted the Big Mac wrapped in a flour tortilla and more recently StarKist regaled us the Hispanic-inspired tuna.

Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods now says it has figured out what would make my people buy more of their ‘mayonesa’…. Duh! Just put some lemon in the damn thing!

According to some very important marketing person at Kraft Foods:

“In Mexico, base mayo has lime juice in it, and often, Hispanics add even more lime juice themselves,” Karmen Conrad, a senior brand manager at Kraft Foods told the Houston Chronicle. “We wanted to offer an authentic mayonesa to the Hispanic population in the U.S.”

Thank you, Kraft!

I don’t know what I would have done with my Hispanic-inspired tuna without a Hispanic-specific mayonesa.

¡Gracias, gracias!

Go @Jaguares, Go @CervezaSol, Go @Twitter

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Mexico is soooo ahead of, like, everybody else, that our soccer teams are embracing the Twitter craze like there is no tomorrow.

Take the Jaguares de Chiapas, a professional fútbol team, which this week launched an unusual campaign, using its players’ Twitter handles instead of their full names on their jerseys.

“Conscious of the age we live in, where we can all stay in touch through the Internet without regard to distance, Jaguares launched a campaign and realized various activities linked to Twitter,” the club said on its website.

Of course none of this would make any sense without the back up of a marketing partner, in this case Cerveza Sol, which is also being feature as -what else?- @CervezaSol.

Introducing the “Authentic” Hispanic-Inspired Tuna!

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Marketing geniuses have given us culturally-relevant Hispanic cheese; deliciously weird tortilla-flavored chocolates, Mexican Coca-Cola and even a Hispanic lettuce. So it was really just a matter of time before somebody came up with a Hispanic tuna.

And that day, my friends, has finally arrived.

This blogger is happy to announce the launch of Auténtico, a “Hispanic-inspired canned tuna line” from the makers of non-Hispanic-inspired tuna StarKist.

According to a press release:

“Auténtico products blend StarKist tuna with bold spices such as red, chili and jalapeno peppers […]”

…because as everybody knows, Hispanics like spices and seem to put jalapeño everywhere.

¡Chunta-chunta-chunta-chún, vamos a comer atún!

Hat tip: HispanicTips

Mexico Beats Its Own Taco Record; Lacks Funds to Register Such Feat

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So you guys thought I was joking when I said we (the Mexicans) know how to make the world’s largest and spiciest tacos, ever!

Not only New Mexico couldn’t beat regular Mexico with their huge navajo taco the other day, but regular Mexico has done it again, beating its own world record, by cooking a 50-meter long taco filled with an “indeterminate” volume of onion, rice, cilantro, pork cracklings, beef, chicken, eggs and sausages.

Alas, such an achievement could not be registered in the Guinness Book of Records, simply because sufficient funds were not available.

“We’re in the process of registering it, but it implies an expenditure that can’t be contemplated right now of more than 400,000 pesos (some $33,000),” municipal official Agustin Torres Pérez told EFE.

So hereby this blogger is launching a campaign for the officers over there at the Guiness Book record-thing to stop the nonsense and give my people a well-deserved discount. Or, perhaps, they will let us pay them in kind, with some delicious taquitos?