Sushi Tacos Are the Latest Food Craze, Because some People Want to Watch the World Burn

What the hell is this?

Not content with ruining everything with the taco-topped pizza, the Quesalupa and the Biscuit Taco, Americans are at it again.

Meet the SUSHI-TACO, the latest food craze that will soon take over your Instagram account.

According to my very reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) sushi tacos first started popping up on Instagram thanks to Tail and Fin, a restaurant in — where else? — Las Vegas, which is serving up “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell.”

But. Wait. A. Second.

Guess what, you dimwits? A “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell” is not a taco, it’s just sushi, so stop it already!



Pillsbury Wants you to Believe this ‘thing’ is a Taco. It’s not

From the 'What the hell is this?' archives
From the ‘What the hell is this?’ archives

As if Taco Bell’s efforts to sell you “make-believe” Mexican food weren’t enough, Pillsbury is now peddling the Chicken Taco Grande Ring, yet another American-made concoction that will make sure your children will grow up with a twisted idea of what my people (i.e. The Mexicans) really eat.

According to my sources (i.e. my Brooklyn Special Taco Correspondent) there’s even a TV commercial of this thing airing on prime time, declaring “it’s time for the taco to come out of its shell.”

Well, I have news for you, Pillsbury: It’s not time for anything. This “thing” is not even a taco, so Stop. This. Now.

Hat tip: Brooklyn taco correspondent JPFalcone