Tag Archives: avocado

Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!

Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate. This thing was last seen at a local store for … Continue reading

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The Avocado Toast Sneakers are Here, Because Hipsters are Determined to Ruin Everything

Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well. Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the … Continue reading

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The Avocado Board Wants You to Eat Avocados for Breakfast if You Don’t Want a Heart Attack –or Something

Despite their being a mortal threat for white people –and their hands– avocados have come a long way on this side of the Rio Grande, thanks mainly to hipsters, millennials and the like. But now, it’s almost as if it’s bad … Continue reading

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Hipster Vegans Want you to Eat an Avocado Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert

Why cut your delicate hands trying to chop open an avocado when you can enjoy the wonders of the fruit without having to resort to a knife –or a tortilla? That is the promise of Cado, an “avocado-based frozen dessert” crafted … Continue reading

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Today in ‘Avo-trocities:’ Avocado Gender Reveal Parties! 🙄

I have no idea who Fooddeco is and/or why anybody should listen to what they have to say, but they seem to be truly in love with avocados. So much so they’re now advocating for Avocado Gender Reveal Parties. I’m only … Continue reading

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This is the Only Dip you Need for your Super Bowl Party

Guacamole, which according to “avocado experts” at Wholly Guacamole was “invented by the Aztecs for its nutritional benefits for the wealthy,” can now be used to prepare a deliciously patriotic Mexican flag tricolor dip, a culinary work of art you … Continue reading

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HELP! The Avocado-Hipster-Millennial Nonsense Has Reached my Neighborhood –and I’m Dying!

This is not Brooklyn, nor the West Village, nor I-don’t-know-what-fancy neighborhood: This is freaking Harlem, for God’s sakes. Forget for one second about those ridiculous prices: What the hell is a Tex-Mex veggerito? Why would anyone eat whole wheat tortilla … Continue reading

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