Tag Archives: avocado

This is the Only Dip you Need for your Super Bowl Party

Guacamole, which according to “avocado experts” at Wholly Guacamole was “invented by the Aztecs for its nutritional benefits for the wealthy,” can now be used to prepare a deliciously patriotic Mexican flag tricolor dip, a culinary work of art you … Continue reading

Posted in Food, Guacala, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Avocado Toast Sneakers are Here, Because Hipsters are Determined to Ruin Everything

Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well. Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the … Continue reading

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!

Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate. This thing was last seen at a local store for … Continue reading

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Avocado Board Wants You to Eat Avocados for Breakfast if You Don’t Want a Heart Attack –or Something

Despite their being a mortal threat for white people –and their hands– avocados have come a long way on this side of the Rio Grande, thanks mainly to hipsters, millennials and the like. But now, it’s almost as if it’s bad … Continue reading

Posted in Food, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hipster Vegans Want you to Eat an Avocado Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert

Why cut your delicate hands trying to chop open an avocado when you can enjoy the wonders of the fruit without having to resort to a knife –or a tortilla? That is the promise of Cado, an “avocado-based frozen dessert” crafted … Continue reading

Posted in Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Today in ‘Avo-trocities:’ Avocado Gender Reveal Parties! 🙄

I have no idea who Fooddeco is and/or why anybody should listen to what they have to say, but they seem to be truly in love with avocados. So much so they’re now advocating for Avocado Gender Reveal Parties. I’m only … Continue reading

Posted in Awkard homages, Food | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

HELP! The Avocado-Hipster-Millennial Nonsense Has Reached my Neighborhood –and I’m Dying!

This is not Brooklyn, nor the West Village, nor I-don’t-know-what-fancy neighborhood: This is freaking Harlem, for God’s sakes. Forget for one second about those ridiculous prices: What the hell is a Tex-Mex veggerito? Why would anyone eat whole wheat tortilla … Continue reading

Posted in Food, New York City | Tagged , | Leave a comment

WARNING: Avocado Knife-Injuries on the Rise, Mostly Among non-Mexicans

OKAY, people, stop doing whatever it is you are doing right now. A potentially devastating malaise known as Avocado Hand is affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado, namely Americans and … Continue reading

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Someone has Made an Avocado Rendering of the Botched Ecce Homo Restoration

In addition to reproducing Cecilia Jimenez ruined artistic recreation of a 19 century fresco of Jesus, this prolific avocado artist has also some interesting renderings of Monalisa, The Joker and Gokú, among others. From now on, I’ll be referring to this thing as AguacARTE. … Continue reading

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Spanish | Tagged , , | Leave a comment