MillerCoors to Launch a Ridiculously-named Beverage Inspired by a non-existent Mexican Tradition

Zumbida_6Pack20160817I have no idea what kind of Mexicans the people of MillerCoors hang out with, but apparently they are the inspiration behind Zumbida, an alcoholic drink with a make-believe Mexican name, which is supposed to be inspired by the “Mexican tradition of Aguas Frescas.”

Wait. Whaaaaat?

Per its very colorful package, Zumbida (LOL) is described as “Aguas Frescas con un toque de piquete,” which makes absolutely no sense, because in Mexico, when you say “con piquete” you don’t really need to say “con un toque de…” but I guess that’s too much for the people of MillerCoors and their imaginary Mexican friends.

Anyway, as I was saying, while “un toque de piquete” makes absolutely no sense, what really gets me here is the word Zumbida, which I guess they think is something like a zumbidozumbada, zumba or zabe Dios qué … (God help them, please!)

As a company spokesperson told AdAge (apparently with a straight face):

“Zumbida is a traditional drink done in a distinctly American way — a fusion.”

So let me get this straight: Zumbida (LOL) is a based on a “Mexican traditional drink” done in a “distinctly American way,” which basically means it’s some sort of disgusting sugary drink spiked with a heavy dosage of marketing bullshit.”

¡Guácala!

One has to be Pretty ‘Desperado’ to Drink this Thing

La Beer + Le Tequila = Le Guácala
Beer + Tequila = Le Guácala

The French might have some of the best wines in the world, but when it comes to packaged cocktails, they are not exactly Le top.

I found the French youth to be particularly fond of Desperados, a tequila, beer, lemon, cactus (yep) concoction that is for sale pretty much everywhere.

I love the French, especially because of this, so I won’t be on their case.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Dijon, France 2015