Have you had it with your regular French cologne? Do you ever wish you smelled like a rich, meaty tamal?

Worry no more! Puerto Rican expert perfumer Zorayda Ortiz has concocted a tamale [sic] fragrance, which, she says…

…Will make you smell exactly like the meaty tamales you grew up eating in abuelita’s kitchen.

Ortiz says that she came up with such a delicious fragrance by blending “notes of red chili pepper and ginger with drops of pineapple, Indian sandalwood and vanilla essential oils.” I don’t know about Puerto Ricans, but the tamales I grew up around [in my abuela’s kitchen, of course] smelled of chile poblano, mole oaxaqueño, beans and salsa morita, which by they way is something I’m not particularly looking forward to smell like.

In any case, perhaps Ms. Ortiz will tweak her recipe a bit to please this tamal-starved, stinky Mexican?