Why Look like a Reguar Dude when you Can Look Like El Chapo Guzmán?

Image via: The Guardian

Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán might be doomed to live in a prison cell forever, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be seeing lots of him everywhere. Or at least in the world of fashion.

Yes, my friends, el Chapo’s 29-year-old, Instagram-savvy wife Emma Coronel has officially launched El Chapo Guzman: JGL LLC, a brand new firm charged with designing clothes, shoes and accessories under the name –what else–  El Chapo Guzmán: JGL.

“This project is an idea Joaquin and I have had for a long time,” Coronel told the New York Daily News. “Before he was in the USA we talked a lot about this topic. Really, it’s both of our ideas.”

Well, isn’t that narco-romantic?

Via: CNET en Español

#ChapoKate Is Coming to a Netflix Screen Near You!

‘Cuando conocí al Chapo’ premieres Oct. 20 on Netflix.’

Not content with giving us plenty of drug-dealing action, first with a series about “Columbia’s” infamous narco Pablo Escobar, and then with the rebroadcast of Univision’s El Chapo, Netflix is at it again, this time with a “Docu-Series” starred and produced by Mexican actress Kate del Castillo.

Cuando conocí al Chapo has been produced by 25/7 Productions and Kate del Castillo Productions, and it will make its worldwide debut Oct. 20, 2017 on Netflix.

A first trailer was released today and features previously unseen footage about Del Castillo’s meeting with the notorious drug lord. The clip opens with Kate reading the first letter El Chapo sent her, while later she discusses the journey to meet him. “We didn’t know anything,” del Castillo says. “We didn’t know what was going to happen or where we were going. I got out of the car. I knew it was him. El Chapo sat right next to me. I was very scared.”

I don’t know you, but I prefer these two in piñata form.

Via: CNET en Español

Univision and AT&T Present ‘Unlimited Chapo,’ Because Hispanic TV Needs More Stories about Drug Lords

Unlimited Chapo is brought to you by Univision and AT&T

In yet another sign that Hispanic television is determined to “superserve its audience with relevant programming,” Univision Communications has partnered with AT&T to bring us — are you ready? — El Chapo Ilimitado! (Unlimited Chapo,) a weekly Facebook Live series that “serves as a forum for fans to discuss new episodes of El Chapo, a new crime television series co-produced by Netflix and Univision.

El Chapo Ilimitado (which I’m sure is a wink to AT&T’s unlimited data plans, duh) is hosted by Univision personalities Lourdes Stephen and Carlos Calderón, who show an extraordinary disposition to look cheerful — and fun! — while discussing one of Mexico’s most sanguinary drug dealers every single week.

Per a company press release, this thing is streamed via Facebook Live on Univision’s Facebook page Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. immediately following the premiere of new episodes.

Say what you will, but Hispanic TV will never cease to depress amuse this blogger.

Now if you allow me, I’ll just go shoot myself.

Via: El Chapo Ilimitado

Ted Cruz Wants ‘El Chapo’ to Pay for Trump’s Border Wall with his Many, Many Chapo Monies

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

The big news this week coming from the always brilliant Republicans is The Chapo Act, a proposal by — who else? — Cuban American dimwit Ted Cruz to have Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán to pay for a border wall.

But why? Well, because you don’t know this but El Chapo has many, many monies; more specifically, $14 billion in what look like beautifully crafted bills featuring his bald mugshot.

Here’s the original tweet sent out earlier this week by Cruz himself, just so you can see how hard it would be to make this sh*t up!

As I asked yesterday, shouldn’t a Chapo Act be an initiative to build tunnels and NOT walls?

But I get it. This is the Trump Administration, so nothing makes any sense anymore and we’re just going to have to go with it.

Take it away Golum!

Univision Preps Series about El Chapo, Because Drug Lords Bring Good Ratings

Marco de la O is ‘El Chapo’ in Univision upcoming series

It is not a secret that Univision ratings are tanking, and its telenovelas are no longer as popular as they once were. So the gigantic, media company is trying something a bit more risqué: A dramatic series about — what else? — El Chapo, Mexico’s most notorious drug lord, currently serving time (and learning English) in a Brooklyn prison.

The role of El Chapo will be played by Marco de la O, an actor this blogger had never heard of before and one that looks a bit more like a mustachioed version of Jim Carrey, if you asked me.

But I digress. The upcoming series is only the latest example of Hispanic television’s obsession with Latin American drug lords, which might be a pest to society, but provide TV outlets with sweet, coveted ratings.

El Chapo will premiere in the U.S. on Univision on April 23 and this blogger will be watching — of course.

Via: Univision

 

El Chapo Is Learning English, and I Have a Few Tips for Him

As you probably know by now, Mexico’s most notorious Bad Hombre, Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, is finally serving time on this side of the border, more specifically in a New York City prison that has been described as Brooklyn’s Abu Ghraib.

But if you were the least worried about him, you should know that he’s not only doing well, but, according to Univision, he has even taken up English lessons.

I’m not even sure why anybody living in New York City needs to learn English (last time I checked, everyone around me was Mexican and everything was in damn Spanish!) Besides, I bet his captors/teachers are not precisely Shakespeare scholars, so if my paisano is really serious about this thing, there are a few methods that might help, including the lotería one or this other one by Unforgettable Languages.

However, if everything fails, this blogger would be happy to jump on the subway and personally bring him some additional reading material, starting — perhaps – with my favorite one. 👇🏽

You never know when you’re going to need the extra help, right?

The Mexican Government Wants You to Know El Chapo Has not Escaped Again –Yet

This is an actual photo posted Friday night by Mexico Secretary of the Interior, Miguel Angel Osorio Chong. LOL
This is the actual photo posted Friday night by Osorio Chong. LOL

My country is the bestest

On Friday night, after rumors that El Chapo Guzmán had escaped from a Mexican prison for the third time began appearing on social media, Mexico’s Secretary of the Interior, Miguel Osorio Chong, posted the above photo, with one simple message: “For the rumors, an image…”

Osorio Chong’s tweet was not only liked and retweeted by thousands of tuiteros, but it proved — once again — that Mexico is home of the surreal and the truly hilarious.

Wanna see the memes about this photo? Check back soon. This blogger is too busy planning her summer vacation working

 

 

This Music Video Beautifully Sums Up the Whole Sean Penn-Kate-El Chapo Brouhaha

Screen Shot 2016-05-18 at 3.26.49 PM

This blogger has been super busy with tons of parties work taking place this week, so it’s always good to keep getting tips from my dozens millions of indefatigable followers.

So, without further ado, I give you Me faltó decirle, a brand new music video by Conjunto Amanecer featuring JEAN FENN and KATY DE LA TORRE, friends of the one and only Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán.

¡Bravo, bravo!

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

Ready for Halloween? El Chapo Full Costume is Here. And it’s Awesome

¡Llévelo! ¡Llévelo!
¡Llévelo! ¡Llévelo!

My people have done it my friends.

Not content with giving the world the spectacular Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump piñatas, Mexicans are now jumping on the Halloween bandwagon with the all-inclusive El Chapo full costume, which comes complete with a latex mask and a traditional white-and-black striped prison uniform that reads — what else? — #NoEraPenalDeMaximaSeguridad.

El Chapo’s costume is available on sites, including Mercado Libre, retailing for about $25*

*Tunnel and bird NOT included

Via: Fusion

Ridley Scott to Make Movie About El Chapo, Of Course

ChapoSimpsons

Well, that was fast.

According to The Internet, Hollywood director Ridley Scott is teaming up with studio giant Fox to produce a novel paralleling the life of escaped Mexican drug lord Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzman.

Details are still sketchy, but Mexican twitteratti are already full of awesome ideas.