Gaddafi Wants you to Know He is NOT in Venezuela

Don’t believe everything you read on Twitter or Facebook. Lybia’s dictator Muammar Gaddafi went on national television to dispel rumors that he had fled to friendly Venezuela.

“I am here to show that I am in Tripoli and not in Venezuela,” he said.

@ChavezCandanga, for his part, was not available for comment and as a matter of fact has been gone from Twitter since February 19.

Hugo Chávez Thinks ’12 Corazones’ Reduces Relationships to Genitals. I Beg to Differ

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d know by now Venezuela’s Hugo Chávez has banned a bunch of television shows, including two of Telemundo’s blockbusters, Caso Cerrado and 12 Corazones, denouncing them as “degrading” and even claiming the latter “reduces relationships to genitals.”

Ay, señor Chávez, usted siempre tan exagerado… I’ve seen dozens of clips like the one posted above and to this day, I have seen no genitals. Yet.

Latin America’s ‘Axis of Evil’ Joins Twitter

Not content with debuting this week on Twitter, Hugo Chávez -aka @ChavezCandanga is now inviting pals Evo Morales and Fidel Castro to follow suit.

I am already a morbid loyal follower of both, @ChavezCandanga @ReflexionFidel, though my sources tell me the latter is not the real Fidel.

Honestly, who cares? reading Fidel’s “thoughts” in 140 characters is much better -and time-efficient- than sifting through his 8-hour-speeches.

[Can’t wait to start following Evo and his thoughts about transgenic chicken and gay people]

Oliver Stone Totally Hearts Chávez; Fears His New Movie Will not be Shown in U.S. [I Wonder Why]

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There is one thing that has Americans even more pissed than Obama speaking to their precious little brats children, and that is the fact that their very own, U.S.-born, Oscar-winning director Oliver Stone is now, like Hugo Chávez’ BFF.

Stone’s latest documentary, South of the Border premiered on Monday at the Venice Film Festival, to the chagrin of many and with a happy-looking Chávez walking the red carpet.

This blogger has not yet seen the film, so it will be best to refrain from making any further comments. Watch the trailer below and let me know what you think.

Are we ready to have Stone join the Axis of Evil yet?

Chávez Urges Venezuelans to Use Their ‘Vergatarios’ (And it’s NOT What you Think)

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You might not know this (why would you?) but the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela prides itself -among many other things- on having manufactured one of the world’s cheapest cellular telephones, specifically designed to be available to the masses in a sort of no-caller-left-behind communications policy.

“The $14 phone is made using Chinese technology and featuring a camera, radio and MP3 player,” according to a Reuters story.

So far so good, but somebody still has to explain to this blogger why Mr. Hugo Chávez insisted in naming these cuties Vergatarios (a crude name for male genitalia). Judging for the picture, the “penis phone” looks quite small…

oh… I see. Never mind!

Chávez Celebrates Everlasting Presidency With Endless Broadcast

alo-presidenteHow else would you celebrate a 10-year presidential term with no end in sight than with a 4-day radio and television broadcast of the president himself?

Yes, my friends. Just when you thought Venezuelan media couldn’t get any more interesting, President Hugo Chávez today announced that a special edition of Aló, Presidente, the radio and television show he started ten years ago, will kick off Thursday May 28 and will broadcast, uninterrupted until Sunday May 31st.

As Chávez told some media outlets, “the program will be just like a telenovela…there will be music, interviews…”

Which I thought was kind of funny, because other than RDB there is not a lot of music going on in telenovelas -much less interviews, so we’ll just have to wait and see!