Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
I’m sorry, Time Magazine, but last time I checked, America was a continent, and as far as I can tell, I’m pretty legal. Osea, I’m legally brunette -and as American as Mexican tamales.
I just feel like singing this song outloud again and again and again…
Dear friends, followers and supporters:
This blogger is hereby joining forces with Burro Hall to make a bid for the “valuable assets” of the soon-to-be-doomed Americans for [sic] Legal Immigration organization, which, as we sadly learned today, is heading towards bankruptcy.
Per an urgent bulletin (LOL) first posted on Burro Hall:
We are sorry to report that for the first time in our organization’s history, we have failed to reach our minimum operational expenses for our final funds drive of 2011. All things being equal, this would put us on a final shutdown date of January 1, 2011
So Whaddaya say?… Will you all chip in and help us buy at least that one? We promise you months of hilarious pro-illegal immigration postings!
One thing I’ve always loved about Americans is their penchant for specialization.
Take a special unit at Newark Airport that is becoming so adept at racial profiling that they have come to be known as the “Mexican Hunters.”
According to the Daily Mail:
To be sure, these fellows are also stopping Dominicans, but hey, you cannot ask them to be that good at telling one Hispanic from another, can you?
If you were among the 22,000 chosen people to receive a green card through the process known as the U.S. visa lottery, you’d better put that bottle of champagne down. Due to a “computer glitch,” the results of a green card visa lottery on May 1 have been ruled invalid.
According to the U.S. State Department, a computer error meant that 90% of the winners had been selected from the first two days of applications rather than from the whole 30-day registration period. In a brief statement, U.S. officials simply said:
“We sincerely regret any inconvenience or disappointment this problem might have caused.”
Or, as Johnny Latino would have told his eternal game-show loser guest: ¡Láaaaastima, Margarito!
Are you planning on wondering about the U.S. with a sack full of tortilla dough? Be ready to spend some days in the slammer.
Take Antonio Hernandez, 45, who last week was arrested and charged with possession of 91 pounds of cocaine after police officers -alerted by a narcotics dog- took him to the Buncombe County Jail in North Carolina. Per the local news:
“Deputies said Carranza appeared intoxicated, though he was later deemed sober by a Breathalyzer test. They said a narcotics dog alerted officers to check Carranza’s baggage, and multiple narcotics field tests determined that the substances were cocaine.”
Hernández actual cargo? Tortilla dough, cooking flour and shrimp.
Gee, officers? Can’t you tell the difference between one thing and the other? I’m going to have to get you passes for a free visit to your nearest Maseca plant. Stay tuned.
Burrito-loving Americans should be up in arms: Chipotle Mexican Grill, which owns and operates nearly 1,100 outlets across the U.S., has been forced to let go of hundreds of workers amid an immigration probe that has spread to other states. According to the Wall Street Journal:
“Hundreds of workers were dismissed in Minnesota, where Chipotle has about 50 restaurants and employs about 1,200 people, after the company received notices of ‘suspect documents’ for them from ICE.”
I don’t know you but I fear for the “integrity” of my meal. If not a Mexican, who is going to be rolling my burritos from now on? a Puerto Rican? a Texan? No, señor!
Don’t believe everything you hear about the U.S. not wanting any more Mexicans. In fact, the U.S. government has just put in place a system to offer Mexicans -and other international travelers- a hassle-free entry into the U.S. Say what?
Aptly named Global Entry, the program allows international travelers (Mexicans included, of course) to use electronic kiosks at 20 U.S. airports to bypass the long passport processing lines. According to Global Entry’s Web site:
Though intended for frequent international travelers, there is no minimum number of trips necessary to qualify for the program. Participants may enter the United States by using automated kiosks located at select airports.
Alas, it looks like only a small portion of my paisanos will be able to enjoy the program, as it applies exclusively to travelers with a valid passport and U.S. visa.
Oh, and did I mention it costs $100? I guess membership does has its privileges!
Not content with scaring the bejesus out of white families around the nation’s freeways, the Mexicans are now taking over the heart of the Big Apple: Times Square.
Open 7 days a week, the Mexican Bar -and its scantily clad señoritas– is waiting for you to celebrate its gran “inaguración,” which is kind of like an “inauguración” but way, way better.
So what are YOU waiting for? Come have some real Latin fun! This joint is 100% mMexicano [sic].
Florida’s GOP Senate nominee Marco Rubio has taken any chance possible to say that English should be the official language of the United States. He is also well known for his hard line rhetoric against immigration.
Yet, when it comes to winning votes among Hispanics, the son of Cuban immigrants has not missed the opportunity to speak, well, in Spanish, the language of Cuban immigrants.
So help me out here: If the above statement is true, can we infer that Legal is NOT illegal?… Gee! It is so hard to keep up with great minds.
If you belong to the ‘brown’ race and plan to travel to Arizona in the near future, make sure to fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS) a rare, but not uncommon condition that will make you sound as if you are from some exotic land, namely Ireland, Wales or as I like to call it, ABLA (Anywhere But Latin America.)
Please watch and pay attention! Don’t you let the 1070 bill catch you unawares! Vodpod videos no longer available.
First it was the piñatas, then the non-Agave tequila and the figurines of the Virgin of Guadalupe. And now, the Chinese are taking over the highly profitable activity of smuggling people into the U.S.
At a time when arrests of Mexican immigrants crossing illegally into the U.S. is at an all-time low, a new breed of human smuggling is taking place at the U.S.-Mexico border: Meet the Chinese coyote.
Authorities in Nogales report an almost tenfold spike in the number of Chinese people caught in the southern Arizona desert […] with at least 261 Chinese border-crossers arrested this year, according to the L.A. Times.
Mexican polleros would be best advised to move their butt if they want to remain competitive; otherwise, they will see their industry evaporate, just as it happened with shoes, toys, clothing, computers, etc. etc.
Hat tip to my friend Carlos F., who found this ad in a magazine whose name he prefers to forget…
Immigrants with a knack for the Internet are becoming a threat to both, virtual ‘border patrols’ working from the comfort of their home and Minute Men on the line of danger.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
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