‘Fresh Mexican Waters Any Flavor?’… Yeah, Mexicans Will Understand…

After all these years in “America” I still haven’t found an accurate way to translate “aguas mexicanas” into English. Some would say “juice” (no, they’re not really juices) while others insist on “ice-tea”. Nope. Tampoco.

Google Translate, of course, doesn’t help either, so I think my paisanos in this Harlem deli are right: Aguas frescas mexicanas has got to be “Fresh Mexican Waters.”

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2019

Netflix Sets Up a ‘Marijuana Maze’ –and Other Drug-Related Adventures in Manhattan. No, really

Netflix’ ‘Interactive Narcos: México Experience’ open Nov. 15 in the heart of Manhattan, just in time for El Chapo trial!

As part of its ongoing marketing efforts to promote the Nov. 16 premiere of Narcos: México, Netflix thought it would be an awesome idea to set up a marihuana maze –and other narco-related experiences in the heart of Manhattan.

Among other things, the Narcos: México Interactive Experience features a pop-up marijuana maze and a series of “photo-friendly moments” that promise to transport fans into the world of drug dealing and –hopefully– get them to watch the new series.

Per a company press release:

Guests will be transported back to the 80s in Guadalajara – choosing to walk the path of the  DEA or the cartel as they navigate a mirror-clad maze, wafting with the smell of cannabis. The Narcos: Mexico Experience features photo-friendly moments, dope swag and an eye opening experience of the historical occurrences reflected in the new series…and since no marijuana maze is complete without munchies, we’ve got churros, Mexican hot chocolate, and tequila to keep guests warm and in the Narcos: Mexico spirit.

And no, I’m not making this up. If you’re in New York City and have nothing better to do this weekend, you can actually go tour this thing for free. Oh and to make things even more exciting: El Chapo’s real life trial kicked off this week… in Brooklyn!

For more photos of the whole experience thing, CLICK HERE:

Via: CNET en Español

Mexikosher Opens in New York City, Because Why Not?

MexiKosher

You guys! Mexikosher (aka The Real Mexican Kosher) has opened its doors in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, bringing local residents some strange “Mexican” delicacies, including hot wings, nachos and rice bowls.

According to the well-informed New York Times, MexiKosher is the creation of Mexican-born chef and co-owner Katsuji Tanabe, who follows kosher rules “without compromising on flavor.” This means, apparently, that he can concoct Kosher-challenged meals like birria, carnitas and beef brisket braised in duck fat. Heck, there’s even a “bacon cheeseburger” made with cured beef belly “bacon” and soy cheese.

I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of quotation marks on those “meals,” so I think I’ll pass. For now.

Photo: Laura Martínez, 2016

Just What This Blogger Needed: A Taco Encyclopedia

tacos2

For those of you who still think tacos look like this, there’s literary aid coming your way.

Mexican editor Déborah Holtz last night was in Manhattan, presenting La Tacopediathe result of a five-year taco research documenting everything you’ll ever need to know about tacos: From their origin and their different species, to the brave men and women who make them. “We wanted to make a book that smelled of tacos,” said Holtz, whose book includes -what else?- the recipe for 36 delicious super salsas.

Unfortunately, La Tacopedia is currently available only in Spanish, but this blogger is one crafty freelancer and has decided to stalk Ms. Holtz until she gives me the green light to translate this jewel into English.

[Now, if she doesn’t give me the green light, at least she should provide me with some green salsa.]

It’s Downtown vs. Uptown: ‘Men in White’ are not All Created Equal

It is Fleet Week in Manhattan, señores, and this blogger went out to flirt do some serious research about sailors and the like.

The city was taken May 23 with men and women in uniform, wandering New York City’s streets in search of some grounded fun after months at sea. After an entire afternoon flirting with photographing the Men in White around downtown, I went back to my humble home all the way uptown to find yet another group of men in white.

The latter, though, were not coming off a warship or anything, but seemed to be busy waiting for work outside my local bodega.

DOWNTOWN

UPTOWN

As for these fellows’ white  outfit… well, I still have to figure that one out.

Mexican Entertainment Takes Over the ‘Big Apple’

Not content with scaring the bejesus out of white families around the nation’s freeways, the Mexicans are now taking over the heart of the Big Apple: Times Square.

Open 7 days a week, the Mexican Bar -and its scantily clad señoritas– is waiting for you to celebrate its gran “inaguración,” which is kind of like an “inauguración” but way, way better.

So what are YOU waiting for? Come have some real Latin fun! This joint is 100% mMexicano [sic].

Dominican Bodega Owner Knows Mexicans Dress Weirdly, Lurk Around ATM’s

New York City’s Hamilton Heights, the cradle of the Hispanic lettuce, is also home to “Superior Market,” a Dominican-owned bodega that now caters to an increasingly Mexican clientele.

Not only they offer Mexican produce, but they seem to know that hat-wearing Mexicans with pants à la Michael Jackson tend to lurk around the ATM machine.

Photo: Laura Martínez

I Might Not Be Beautiful, But I Crashed People en Español’s Bellos Party

You might have guessed this, but yesterday was not a good day for this blogger. It was the morning after People en Español’s Bellos Party, an annual ritual for me and 50 other beautiful Hispanics.

This year, the party took place at Guastavino’s and -unlike previous years- it was much, much smaller, and the room looked kind of empty at times. Also missing was some form of entertainment, which last year was delivered by the awesome Cucu Diamantes and her troop.

Still, some celebrities were lucky enough to get themselves photographed with this blogger, something that -I can assure you- will do plenty to boost their careers.

Some highlights:

Sofía Vergara trashed everyone’s high hopes simply by not showing up…

Lili Estefan “limped” the purple carpet…

Sammy Sosa still looks like he will not be detained in Arizona any time soon…

Univision’s news anchor María Elena Salinas reminded this blogger -again- that no matter how smart you are, you can still look very hot…

Saúl Lisazo reminded this blogger that, no matter how old you are, you can still be one hot papacito

With the one and only: Sammy Sosa