Tag: Ted Cruz

I’m no Texan, but Beto Has my Vote

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De la cuenta de Twitter de Beto O’Rourke

Say what you will about Texas (and I say a lot of not-so-nice things) but Democratic congressman Beto O’Rourke not only has a reported 62 percent of the Latino vote in the Texas senate race (vs. Rafael “Ted” Cruz) but he’s like a fan of this blogger’s FAVORITE Mexican band ever. Yes, Los Tigres del Norte have endorsed Beto and Beto and Los Tigres are, like, BFFs now.

Heck! he even tweeted in Spanish, so I’m like, dying here.

For the uninitiated, you can read this New Yorker profile of Los Tigres del Norte or simply click below. This is not the best video out there, but if you’re fortunate enough to understand Spanish, these lyrics are, like, WOW*…

Here’s my humble attempt to translate this song…

They already yelled at me a thousand times
That I must return to my land
Because there’s no room for me here
Well, I want to remind the gringo

I did not cross the border
The border crossed me
America was born free
It was men who divided it

They painted the line
For me to jump and now they call me an invader
It is a well-marked error
They stole eight states from us, who is here the invader?

I am a foreigner in my land
And I do not come to give them war
I am a hard worker

And if history doesn’t lie
Here he sat in the glory, the mighty nation
Among brave warriors
Indians from two continents, mixed with Spanish

And if we go to the centuries
We are more American
We are more American
That the son of Anglo-Saxon

And if the story does not lie
Here he sat in the glory, the mighty nation
I entered brave warriors
Indians from two continents, mixed with Spanish

And if it comes to centuries
We are more American
We are more American
That the sons of Anglo-Saxons

…. etc. etc. etc.

 

Ted Cruz Wants ‘El Chapo’ to Pay for Trump’s Border Wall with his Many, Many Chapo Monies

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I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

The big news this week coming from the always brilliant Republicans is The Chapo Act, a proposal by — who else? — Cuban American dimwit Ted Cruz to have Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán to pay for a border wall.

But why? Well, because you don’t know this but El Chapo has many, many monies; more specifically, $14 billion in what look like beautifully crafted bills featuring his bald mugshot.

Here’s the original tweet sent out earlier this week by Cruz himself, just so you can see how hard it would be to make this sh*t up!

As I asked yesterday, shouldn’t a Chapo Act be an initiative to build tunnels and NOT walls?

But I get it. This is the Trump Administration, so nothing makes any sense anymore and we’re just going to have to go with it.

Take it away Golum!

Let the Hispandering Begin. Ted Cruz Launches Ad in Spanish

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Screen Shot 2015-03-23 at 11.22.14 AM
Canadian immigrant to run for U.S. President

The anti-immigration, anti-gay, climate-change denier, Canadian immigrant Christian (aka Ted Cruz) today confirmed he will be running for President in 2016, which is like sad, since I don’t think he is even remotely aware he has a zero chance of going anywhere with that.

Still, that has not deterred Cruz from launching a Spanish-language campaign, Ted Cruz para Presidente, highlighting his own condition as immigrant and pretty much making us believe his story is just exactly like the story of all immigrants in this country.

Yeah, right…

Oh, and by the way, if he is so proud of his origin, how come he is not himself addressing potential voters in Spanish?