New York City is Becoming Increasingly Challenging for English Speakers

CitiBikeLM

I picked up a Citibike today and was glad to find all the relevant information in Spanish.

Seriously, I think this was awesome, but I kind of felt bad for the non-Spanish crowd.

¡Gracias, señor DiBlassio! [or was this El Bloombito?]

Posted in Language, New York City, Spanish | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Dating a Latina Will Make you Fat [and Other Insights from Univision's Millennial Channel]

DatingALatinaUnivision

Looks like Univision decided NOT to listen to me, so it went ahead to launch Flama, an English-language video channel, which according to ADWEEK, has “an eye on Hispanics between ages 15 and 30,” (aka Hispanic millennials.)

The channel, which is being sponsored by condom maker Trojan and Big Mac maker McDonald’s, features videos on comedy, music, lifestyle and sports.

The following video -inexplicably tagged as comedy- is a 4-minute-plus rant about what non-Latinos should expect from dating a Latina. And no, you don’t have to spend 4:09 minutes of your life watching it.

I watched it entirely, so you don’t have to and here’s the gist of it:

  • Latinas are crazy
  • Dating a Latina will make you fat (even if they cook with Mazola)
  • We love to cook tamales and pozole and quesadillas
  • If you are going to be in a relationship with a Latina, you should consider joining  Weight Watchers
  • We [Latinas] are clingy
  • We are like your probation officer but with sex -and frijoles

Or, you can watch… But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fusion, Marketing & Advertising, Pop culture, Univision, You Tube | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This Company Wants me to Celebrate ‘Cinco de Mayo’ by Tattooing My ‘Ta-Tas’

tatas

Temporary breast tattoo company TaTaToos is so excited about Cinco de Mayo, it has come up with a culturally-relevant line of tattoos that promise to make your holiday -what else?- spicier.

I’m not sure what’s more depressing; if saying “tatas” instead of tetas, or having you celebrate the Battle of Puebla by imprinting some Spanish-language copy on your chest.

In any case, here’s part of the pitch from the original press release:

Make your Cinco de Mayo HOT this year with Ta*ta*toos - temporary tattoos that last up to 5 – 7 days. They are perfect to apply lower on the chest to ensure discreetness when wearing apparel and can be removed with household rubbing alcohol in less than 30 seconds!

I don’t think I’ll be celebrating a Mexican holiday by putting a tattoo on my “tatas…” Still, that part about rubbing alcohol on them sounds quite enticing.

Posted in Cinco de Mayo, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

West Harlem: Now Proudly Serving Dominican Sushi

sushidominicano

…Whatever that means

Photo: Laura Martinez (Harlem)

Posted in Food, Guacala, Language, New York City | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Official: Juan Gabriel Brings Joy to Mexican Immigrants

JuanGAnYC2

Oh, and yes, he packed Madison Square Garden last night (April 6, 2014)

Posted in Latin celebrities, Music, New York City, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Yes. There is a ‘Cinco de Mayo Carne Asada’ Gadget

CarneAsadaGadget

You guys must think I just make stuff up just to keep updating this wonderful blog and all. But no. Thanks to the ever creative minds of marketing professionals, there is always something new under the Latino-Hispanic muy caliente sun.

Señoras y señores: I give you the BBQ Dragon, the portable, hands-free, rechargeable gadget which –according to a presumably serious press release– will help you make “the best carne asada in town.” Why? Because Cinco de Mayo is approaching!

I’m not sure this thing was even conceived with carne asada or Cinco de mayo in mind, but who the hell cares? We are fast approaching this blogger’s favorite faux-Mexican holiday.

¡Ajúa!

Posted in Cinco de Mayo, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Technology, You Tube | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

OMG! My Local Bodega Sells Conasupo-Branded Tortillas

TortillasConasupoUSA

I cannot help but think Raúl Salinas de Gortari is behind this –somehow.
Scary. But, heck, at least they’re gluten-free.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2014

Posted in Food, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment