Even Aliens Know Mexican Avocados are out of this World

avos

Avocados From Mexico is back on the Super Bowl advertising game with #AvosInSpace, its latest TV commercial that is scheduled to make its official debut on Sunday, during the Big Game in San Francisco.

While the spot is not as adorable as that of last year (remember the polar bear clad in mariachi gear voting for Mexico?) it does a good job highlighting the ridiculousness of what the human race has become.

In the spot we see a bunch of aliens in a spaceship learning about human culture and our most unique Earthly possessions, which include emojis, torture devices (aka airplanes) chia pets and — oh dear — the infamous dress — or as the aliens refer to it, “the white and gold dress that caused a civil war.”

During a brief tour, the guide tells aliens about the most amazing thing of all: The avocados from Mexico, which are always in season, so you can enjoy them all year long.

Via: Avocados From Mexico

Posted in Food, Marketing & Advertising, NFL, Pop culture, Tacos, Television | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

According to Some ‘Bovine Writer,’ there are 14 Species of Latinas in the U.S. [Can you Guess Where I Belong?]

Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States

Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States

Some “writer” in the United States has written Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States, a $17.99 “book” that promises to help gringos “find and identify the right Latina to date, love or marry.”

I’m going to spare you the details of this thing, but let’s say in a nutshell that — according to this aptly-named Bovino fellow — there are 14 SPECIES of us (i.e. Latinas of the United States). Fourteen, people, fourteen. Among them:

  • SYMMETRICAL FORCE (Colombian American): Butt size varies, but breast implants are practically a rite of passage and she likes ‘em BIG.
  • TRIFECTA (Venezuelan American): Routinely causes an erection lasting more than 4 hours, but neediness, jealousy, and controlling behavior – a real “trifecta” of drama – occasionally spoil the mood.
  • TACO BELLE (Mexican American): Warm and cuddly as a teddy bear but (somewhat) shy around strangers, especially gringos.
  • TRANSFORMER (Cuban American): If her breasts are large enough to match her hips and butt, she can be a Latin Jessica Rabbit, but too much Cuban food or too many kids and she’ll transform into Rosie O’Donnell right before your eyes.

Mr. Bovino fails to identify this blogger, but I can assure him after I review this thing on Amazon, he’d like to call my species THE MEXICAN AMAZON RATINGS KILLER.

[SIGH]

Hat tip: The Flama

Posted in Awkard homages, Latino dating, Literature, Marketing & Advertising, Pop culture, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Swiss Entrepreneurs Create ‘Magical Machine’ to Make $1 Tortillas

teamflatev

Mariachi hat: Proof their invention is legit

And just when I thought technology couldn’t get any more ridiculous awesome, a group of sombrero-wearing geniuses hailing from Switzerland have invented Flatev, a machine that promises to deliver “fresh, authentic tortillas in seconds.” In seconds, people, SECONDS!

And what’s the magic behind this thing? Pods, people, pods!

Per the startup’s Website, Flatev uses pods to produce ready-to-eat tortillas. One pod per tortilla.

Think of it like a coffee machine that makes flatbread. Instead of ground coffee, our pods are filled with fresh dough with natural and healthy ingredients.

Why be like Rosa when you can make $1 tortillas?

Why be like Rosa when you can make $1 tortillas?

The best part? Each pod produces one tortilla and each pod will cost you “only” $0.90.  (That is after plunking down about $300 for the actual “magical tortilla machine.”)

WATCH the video [below] to learn how to get Rosa out of the kitchen and replace her with a Flatev thing instead.

#NotTheOnion

Posted in Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Advertising Agency Declares War on ‘The Hispanic Silo;’ Hires Two Hispanics Instead

SiloHispanicAnomaly

‘The Hispanic’ at Anomaly, looking kind of ‘solo…’ for now

A few days ago, New York-based advertising shop Anomaly made some Internet headlines by declaring war on “The Last Silo of the marketing communications landscape: The Hispanic Silo.”

Per Anomaly’s own manifesto:

Silos by their nature are bad. They stifle potential. They stand there all tall and rigid. They breed homogeneity […] As we look to the future we cannot help but be inspired by the changed dynamics of America today. We are a more pluralistic, more progressive, more cultured nation.

And all of this, my friends, was just a very elegant way of announcing the hiring of its first Hispanic creative talent, namely Dieste’s Giovanni Villamar (See photo of the silo above) and D’Expósito’s Mauricio Galvan) who — at least for the moment — look kind of an anomaly in mostly white, non-Hispanic-but-total-market advertising and marketing landscape.

Anyhow, this blogger wishes these two Hispanic non-silos at Anomaly all the best in their non-Hispanic, total market endeavors.*

*Oh, and make sure to have your non-Hispanic, non-Silo colleagues at Anomaly follow this blogger religiously. I promise tons of piñatas, sombreros and tacos.

Posted in Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions | 7 Comments

Here Is Salma Hayek Before Her ‘Latin Pride’ Became Huge

SalmaHayekFirst

Call me crazy, but after watching this tape of Salma Hayek’s first audition ever, I am almost certain her Latin Pride wasn’t always as big as she wants us to believe.

Regardless, the video below is pure gold. (The only thing possibly better might be this other one.)

WATCH:

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

 

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Pizza Hut’s ‘Ultimate Mexican Pizza’ Is a ‘Flavour Fiesta’ that Looks Disgusting

MexicanPizza

Remember McDonald’s German mariachi?

Well, hold on to your sombreros, because now it’s Pizza Hut’s turn to give us yet another revolting concoction that it dares calling “Mexican.”

Pizza Hut’s New Zealand is introducing the “Ultimate Mexican Pizza,” a “flavourful” combination of nachos, quesadillas, jalapeños and stuffed cheese crust, because Why-The-Hell-Not?

In a nutshell: ¡Guácala!

Via: Pocho.com

Posted in Burritos, crime, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico | Tagged | 1 Comment

Edinburgh University Bans Costumes of ‘Mexicans, Gangsters and Mental Patients’

No Mexican costume for you!

No Mexican costume for you!

Pity the students at Edinburgh University.

For reasons that escape this non-Scottish, freedom-of-speech-advocate Mexican blogger, students at this fine institution have been banned from wearing “offensive fancy dress costumes,” which according to said institution, include “Mexicans, gangsters, mental patients and camp men.”

Per the University ordinance:

“It is also not acceptable to use props to emphasise racial characteristics in order to convey an individual or character. A good costume should be clear enough that you do not need racial or cultural additions.”

I don’t know about you but I still don’t understand how a Scottish person smoking a gigantic plastic cigar and wearing an Andaluz hat qualifies as “a Mexican.” Besides, someone still has to explain to me how my people (i.e. the Mexicans) ended up in the same bin with gangsters and mental patients.

I mean, WTH Scotland? We used to get along!

Via: The Scotsman

Posted in Awkard homages, Cinco de Mayo, Education, Fashion, Mexico, Pop culture | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments