Author: Mi Blog es tu Blog

Mexico President Asks Spain to Apologize for the Conquest; Hilarity Ensues

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SPOILER ALERT: The information contained in this post does not hail from The Onion. This actually happened. In real life. In Mexico.

So… Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (aka AMLO) wrote a letter to Spanish King Felipe VI and Pope Francis urging them to apologize for the “abuses” of colonialism and the conquest, which took place, like, a very long long time ago.

In a video filmed at the ruins of the indigenous city of Comalcalco, in southern Mexico, [AMLO] called on Spain and the Vatican to recognize the rights violations committed during the conquest of Mexico.

Sooner than you can say NO MAMES Mexican Twitter reacted and the reaction was –naturally– hilarious.

Spain responds

Mexico, once we get our apology

Yeah, it’s going to be great!

Ja Ja Ja Ja

More Ja Ja Ja

Retaliation

The only apology Mexico needs

Mexicans Stealing the Wall is Everyone’s Favorite Story of 2019

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Hey, Mexicans are securing their walls with stolen razor wire –paid by Americans

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Turns out Mexicans at the U.S. border are literally stealing the razor wire put there by Trump officials to beef up security and selling it to local residents for as little as $2 (“40 pesitos, marchanta!“)

According to The Guardian, residents of barrios abutting the border told XETW 12 television in Tijuana that entrepreneurial individuals have offered to sell them the stolen concertina wire and install it for just 40 pesos per home – barely $2.

The bad news is that people are already been arrested for stealing concertina wire along the border, BUT on the upside, this is already the favorite story of some high-profile media people, including –of course– yours truly. HA HA HA HA (or as we say in Mexicou: JA JA JA JA JA.)

Via: The Guardian

See? Even Beto O’Rourke Knows America is not a Country

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Former Texas congressman Robert “Beto” O’Rourke this week officially launched his presidential campaign Website but despite touting the slogan Beto for America that he uses for his English-language page, he decided to go for a combination of Beto para Estados Unidos and Beto para todos (Beto for Everyone) in the Spanish-language one.

And the reason for this, my friends, is simple: As I’ve been saying, like, forever, America, my friends, is not a country –at least not when you speak Spanish.

So, this is all great señor Beto, now … Where are the free donas?

 

Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!

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Crazy Fresh!

Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate.

This thing was last seen at a local store for $5.99 –and yes, this is what it actually looks like.

If Guacammus is not for you, these people are also peddling Picomole, Apple Salsa and Cranberry Salsa among other atrocities, because why the hell not?

Hat tip: @lechancle

GOP Congresswoman Eats Pozole Pizza and I Can’t Even…

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GOP Congresswoman Debbie Lesko, from Arizona, took to Twitter to show off her very own Arizona Pozole Pizza, a weird concoction made specially for her by the local D.C. Pizzeria Paradiso.

Filing this under ‘guácatelas’

The stunt was part of  Pizzeria Paradiso’s United States of Pizza: Women’s Slice of the Pie, a “rotating weekly menu of state-themed pies honoring and highlighting elected female officials per state,” –apparently because International’s Women Month and thus the pozole thing.

As if I needed one more reason to despise Republicans… (¡guácala!)

Via: The Eagle

Americans Discover Sarapes; Call them ‘Serapes’ –and Everything Is Awful

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People are hashtagging #serapes #serapholic and #serapify and I’m dying!

I’ve been on the #ItsSarapeNotSarape thing for quite some time now, but thanks to a sharp Twitter follower today I learned there’s even a Serapify and Serapholic hashtags on Instagram. I clicked on it and went down a horrific, serape-filled rabbit hole.

Welp!

Hat tip: Laura Gomez Rodriguez

Bodegas are a National Treasure; Just Don’t Ask the Owner for the Bathroom Key

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It is no secret that bodegas are a wonder of sorts. No matter the time of day you will surely find all your basics. Late night-condoms? a Guadalupe Virgin candle? Emergency tampons? Terrible coffee? …. The bodeguero has your back.

Oh, but try not asking him to use the bathroom, unless you want to unleash a series of… hilarious musical events.

WATCH Saturday Nights’ Live (March 2, 2019 episode)

This Game Lets you Pick a Foam Burrito and Throw it at Someone –for some Reason

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Throw Throw Burrito has raised almost $1 million on Kickstarter. But… why?

The creators of Exploding Kittens and other silly board games are prepping Throw Throw Burrito, a card game that will have players pick up a foam burrito and… throw it at another player.

I have no idea why anybody would want to do that, but the only good news is that two plush burritos are included in this thing.

Let the genius behind the game explain their creation themselves, shall we?

Via: CNET en Español

Monolingual Drunk Berates Woman for Speaking Spanish; He Gets Lectured… in Spanglish

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Another day, another drunken, monolingual moron in America feels threatened by people speaking Spanish around them.

In the latest episode of an increasingly common occurence, a man in El Paso, Texas claiming to be a war veteran goes off on a local woman for speaking Spanish to… her mom.

“This is America… We speak English here! Why don’t you speak English?” says the man, who according to local media, is a war veteran from Wisconsin.

I’m sure the incident was very upsetting for the women, but the exchange quickly turns quite hilarious as the woman’s mother starts yelling back at the man… not in English or Spanish, but in Spanglish.

“Como vas a estar tomando beer in the morning?  Puto!”

The whole exchange is a bit ridiculous (and innecessarily long, if you asked me) but watch it below if you’re so inclined… SIGH.

Via: El Diario La Prensa

The ‘New York Times’ Trolls Trump by Praising Mexican Oscar Winners

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Bad hombres? Nah, more like The Three Amigos: Alfonso Cuarón, Alejandro G. Iñárritu, GuillermoDel Toro

The 91st Academy Awards are tonight, my friends, and just in time for the big night, The New York Times decided to troll Mr. Trump in a not so subtle way, by highlighting the multiple wins and box office dollars brought to the table by Mexican directors and artists.

WATCH. ENJOY. REPEAT*

*See you tonight on Twitter