Category: Awkard homages

Owners of this Music Shop in Mexico Could Use a Crash Course in History

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As a guitar enthusiast (and not very good player) I’m always looking around for music and guitar-related stuff online, but I honestly wasn’t ready for this.

Mexican music shop Holocausto Music is being around for over 20 years and –apparently– nobody has ever blinked at their… unusual moniker. Featuring two 1,500-square meters stores in Mexico, the Fender Custom shop has also been the recipient of multiple awards, including one by Fender Guitars itself.

I want to believe they’re not ill intentioned. I guess they just didn’t think this through –or never took History in school.

¡Ay, caramba!

Photo via: Reddit

The Avocado Duvet Cover Is a Hipster’s Dream Come True –and I’m Dead Now

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Urban Outfitters wants you to cozy up in this summer-perfect, aguacate duvet –for some reason.

If you thought the avocado craze in America had peaked at the avocado Halloween costume and the avo-romantic engagement stunt, think again.

The folks over at Urban Outfitters are proudly peddling the Avocado Duvet Cover set, a “summer-perfect duvet in crisp, cool Percale cotton featuring our UO-exclusive allover avocado print.”

It is available in several sizes and at a discounted price of $59.99, it will hopefully not leave you broke, so you can go buy a $20 avocado toast –or something ridiculous like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me…

Sombrero tip: @saltasolt

José José Is Dead –and I Have nothing Funny to Say

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You probably don’t know this, but José José (né José Rómulo Sosa Ortiz) was not only one of my favorite Mexican singers; he was pretty much responsible for a lot of crying during my yesteryears. So many of my memories from Mexico are intrinsically linked to a José José song: The first time I got drunk (on a disgusting bottle of Padre Kino white wine;) my first kiss; my first heart break…

I don’t exaggerate when I say José José was the soundtrack of my family life back in Mexico growing up. And, just like Juan Gabriel, another Mexican grande who left too soon, José José was already a staple in my home way before the hipsters or younger people discovered his beautiful voice. Awwww, the parties in San Pedro de los Pinos with us singing out loud to the tune of No me digas que te vas, El triste, Gavilán o paloma or Si me dejas ahora, my mom’s personal favorite.

I’m not sure heaven exists, but if it does my mom is in for a big fiesta with two giants who –just like her– left us way too soon.

Go serenade my mom, príncipe…

New Mexico Taquería Serves Food Items with Names like ‘The Wall,’ ‘Fake News’ –and Plenty of Typos

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Would you eat a burrito with a name such as “Lock Her Up?”

I didn’t think so, but someone does.

Hanif Mohamed, a Muslim immigrant from Kenya, had the not-so-swell idea to open a taquería in Albuquerque with items he hopes will make us crave for his Mexican “food.” Urban Taquería‘s food items include tacos & burritos with bizarre names like “No Collusion,” “The Wall,” “Under Audit,” “Executive Privilege,” and –of course– “Bad Hombre.”

Mohamed –who by the way cannot stand President Trump– told The Washington Post that tacos such as “Bad Hombre” and “Fake News” and burritos such as “The Wall” and “Lock Her Up” “are meant to start political conversations and keep people talking about Trump’s rhetoric.” 

Maybe, Mr. Mohamed, but what’s with the chipotle arbol and the carne adovada? That’s already a no no for this Spanish grammar-obsessed blogger, so I think I’ll pass on your “conversation.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on your habañero mayonnaise…

Adovada? Ay!

 

Photo via: CNN

Mattel Preps a ‘Barbie Día de Muertos,’ Because Mexican Barbie and Barbie Frida Kahlo Weren’t Enough

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Come November, there’s one thing that really, really, gets on my nerves (besides pumpkin-spice stuff, of course) and that is America’s obsession with the Mexican tradition known as Día de Muertos (basically Day of the Dead) or as some gringos dare calling it: Mexico’s Halloween.

Anyhow, in a move that I can only interpret as spite –and to mess up with me and my fellow Mexicans– Mattel on Tuesday announced the upcoming launch of a Day of the Dead-themed Barbie to be called –what else?– Barbie Día de Muertos. Duh.

According to an unnecessarily long press release: Barbie Día de Muertos will feature a “long, embroidered dress decorated with flowers and butterflies. The final touch is completed by a crown with the iconic monarch butterflies and the cempasúchitl flower to honor, in every way, the symbols and offerings of this emblematic Mexican tradition.”

And I thought Barbie Frida Kahlo was pathetic. Now if you excuse me, I’m off to find a non-pumpkin-spiced triple shot of mezcal or something.

[SIGH]

Via: Yahoo News

Thanos Twerks around Tacos and Tortas in the World’s Most Amazing Commercial

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A restaurant in Boca del Río, Veracruz has found a winning combination to sell its products: Footage from Avengers: Infinity War, tacos, tortas and a super fun evil Thanos that twerks to show his penchant for Mexican food.

A commercial posted on the Facebook account of Takesabroso, shows Thanos delivering his now-famed deadly snap as he dissolves half of life on Earth. But instead of retreating to a quiet life until the Avengers come back seeking revenge, he is inspired to twerk around delicous tacos and tortas.

Watch the original tweet where this appears before Marvel’s lawyers get on this…

Via: TaKeSabroso

Tiny Mexican Hitting an ICE Piñata Is Truly Therapeutic

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Say what you will about my people (i.e. The Mexicans) but they truly know how to let off some steam without being, like, super violent.

Take this children’s party in Chicago, where tiny, adorable children (like this cutie in a Peppa the Pig shirt) are seing hitting an ICE piñata and throwing balls into a painted image of President Trump.

A video circulating around social media is stirring some controversy among “certain sectors” (presumably non-Mexican sectors.)

As for this blogger, I have only one thing to say: ¡Dale, dale, dale, no pierdas el tino, porque si lo pierdes, pierdes el camino!

Via: ABC 13

Portland Is Hosting a Topless Taco Festival, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

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Have you always wanted to eat tacos and burritos while naked? Here’s your chance!

In an effort to raise funds –and awareness– around breast cancer, Portland is hosting a… Topless Taco Festival where visitors are encouraged to come topless for the tacos and booty short-clad for the burritos.

And no, unfortunately this is not some sort of joke or fake news, but an actual event that is scheduled to take place in Portland on August 17. Why? Because apparently nothing says fight cancer like being naked while eating tacos.

Filing under ONLY IN AMERICA and STUPID PROPOSITIONS.

Via: Facebook

No, Australia, We Don’t Want your Hideous Pineapple Burrito

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Turns out June 27 is World Pineapple Day (for some reason) so Australian fast-food chain Mad Mex decided to release its first pineapple burrito, a “limited edition” thing that –thank God– will be available only in Australia.

In an unnecessarily long news article, Mad Mex CEO Clovis Young said “he was prepared for the public backlash,” but wanted to help answer the question of whether pineapple should be a staple in Mexican food.

OK, Mr. Clovis Young, here’s your answer. Yes, we’ll allow some pineapple (maybe) in a VERY GOOD set of tacos al pastor made in Mexico, by real Mexican taqueros. So no, it shouldn’t be a part of that hideous thing you dare call a “Mexican staple food.”

You are welcome.

 

Brace Yourselves: The Gentrification of Veladoras Is Here

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Prayer candles, better known among my people (i.e. The Hispanics) as veladoras, are making a splash among the avocado-loving millennial, non-Latin, non-religious crowd pushing their prices so high that you will wanna start praying for a raise.

According to this Vox.com article, a prayer candle featuring the likes of Elizabeth Warren, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Jonathan Van Ness (because they all kind of are in the same  business) can cost up to $12, compared to a regular prayer candle, which you’ll find pretty much anywhere in the USA for $2 –or for very few pesitos in any Latin American street market.

University professors and religious studies experts claim this is yet another sign of the decline of religious affiliation of Americans and some even go as far as to call these colorful candles “blasphemous” and a “direct threat to the Catholic faith.”

I don’t know much about that, but consider yourselves warned: The gentrification of veladoras is here to stay.

Via: Vox.com

Delfín Quishpe Is the New Mayor of Guamote, Ecuador, because Latin America

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“Who knows the truth? Who did it, and why did they do it?” Quishpe asks in this hilarious song, and then goes on:

The whole planet was convulsed

My God, Help me

When I went to look for you, I believed what I was seeing.

The towers in flames, full of black smoke, and you in that place,

My God

JUST WATCH:

Americans Insist on Wrapping Themselves in Tortilla Blankets

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Move over tortilla towel, here comes the tortilla blanket, the most recent addition to what I like to call Nonsense American Products (NAPS.)

The latest tortilla-themed thing is a microfiber blanket that can be yours for as little as $39.99!) The marketing pitch?

“Do you love Mexican food so much you want to reincarnate yourself as a giant burrito? […] With this giant tortilla blanket you can become a taco, quesadilla, tostada, enchilada, burrito, taquito or use your imagination.”

THE END IS NEAR, MY FRIENDS

Via: Amazon.com

Why Look like a Reguar Dude when you Can Look Like El Chapo Guzmán?

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Image via: The Guardian

Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán might be doomed to live in a prison cell forever, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be seeing lots of him everywhere. Or at least in the world of fashion.

Yes, my friends, el Chapo’s 29-year-old, Instagram-savvy wife Emma Coronel has officially launched El Chapo Guzman: JGL LLC, a brand new firm charged with designing clothes, shoes and accessories under the name –what else–  El Chapo Guzmán: JGL.

“This project is an idea Joaquin and I have had for a long time,” Coronel told the New York Daily News. “Before he was in the USA we talked a lot about this topic. Really, it’s both of our ideas.”

Well, isn’t that narco-romantic?

Via: CNET en Español