Category: Fashion

Alicia Machado Moves On: Launches Male Fragrance, Develops Extra Limbs, Writes Book

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What's with the extra arm? Anybody?
What’s with the extra arm? Anybody?

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, who this year jumped to non-Hispanic fame after confessing to having being called horrible things like Miss Piggy and Miss Housekeeping by Horrible-Person Donald Trump (HPDT), is apparently moving on.

The Venezuela native this week took to Twitter to promote her new fragrance, aptly named “Malicia” (get it?) and to inform the world that she’ll be writing a book about … yes, you guessed it! HPDT.

Anyhow, I’m all up for people moving on and get past this sombre, horrible, sad period, but can somebody please explain the third arm?

This blogger is still VERY depressed, so please, go on, amuse me….

Two Apparently Nice Ladies Want you to Cover Your Pet’s A-Hole with a Talking Donald Trump

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ahole

Speaking of pussy assholes, a duo of advertising ladies are launching the Trump Hole Covers, some sort of weird device to cover your pet’s a-hole with a talking Donald Trump — because the world has definitely gone mad.

Behind this contraption (no pun intended) are Martha Ibarrondo and Evelyn Monroe Neill, two advertising ladies who have had it with with Donald Trump — pretty much like everyone else.

Per their very “intriguing” PR pitch:

“We’re amazed, disgusted, amused and inspired by the 2016 presidential election. We ask you to join in and share, share, share. Help us make #trumpholecover and #trumpcatasstrophy a phenom because really, if anyone ever deserved this place in history, it’s Donald Trump.”

I do not have a pet, but even if I did I’m not sure I would want to cover it’s a-hole with anything (much less with a talking Donald Trump). But apparently there’s something good in all this: According to Ibarrondo and Monroe Neill, your Trump hole cover purchase will support non-profit organizations that serve women and immigrants.

Not convinced yet? How about just doing it for the sarape -and sombrero-clad- pussy?

This pussy has had it with Trump's wall talk
This pussy has had it with Trump’s wall talk

Univision Launches Dolls Inspired by Univision’s Latin Beauty Pageant, because Univision

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dollsfinal

Move over, Mexican Barbie! Here come Nuestra Belleza Latina-inspired dolls, Univision’s latest marketing effort to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its very own Latin beauty pageant.

The six dolls — Dulce, Yaritza, Sol, Niki, Odalys and Paola —have all been inspired by the “diverse and compelling stories of Latinas,” which as you know are all very diverse, despite having the exact same measurements.

This beauties are available in either evening gown or swim suit via Amazon, LatinaGirlPower.com and “several Hispanic grocery store chains,” which I assume are those same stores where you can buy Hispanic cheese, Hispanic lettuce, Hispanic chips, etc.

 

Edinburgh University Bans Costumes of ‘Mexicans, Gangsters and Mental Patients’

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No Mexican costume for you!
No Mexican costume for you!

Pity the students at Edinburgh University.

For reasons that escape this non-Scottish, freedom-of-speech-advocate Mexican blogger, students at this fine institution have been banned from wearing “offensive fancy dress costumes,” which according to said institution, include “Mexicans, gangsters, mental patients and camp men.”

Per the University ordinance:

“It is also not acceptable to use props to emphasise racial characteristics in order to convey an individual or character. A good costume should be clear enough that you do not need racial or cultural additions.”

I don’t know about you but I still don’t understand how a Scottish person smoking a gigantic plastic cigar and wearing an Andaluz hat qualifies as “a Mexican.” Besides, someone still has to explain to me how my people (i.e. the Mexicans) ended up in the same bin with gangsters and mental patients.

I mean, WTH Scotland? We used to get along!

Via: The Scotsman

Hillary or Evita? NPR Asks, Latinos Respond, Hilarity Ensues

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Evita? Hillary?
Evita? Hillary?

NPR has finally discovered Hillary Clinton’s new Spanish-language posters, which — as everybody knows —  make her look a little too much like Eva Perón, the actress turned first lady of Argentina.

You can read the story here, but the best part about this so far is the reaction of some Latinos on Twitter. Here are just some of my favorites:

On peronism….

On being The Force

Ojo yanquis…

To the Donald…

Pure hilarity…

 

Mexalert! Mexican Converse Spotted in New York City Subway

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Ideal for when someone yells '¡Ahí viene la migra!'
Ideal for when someone yells ‘¡Ahí viene la migra!’

In yet another sign that New York City is quickly becoming a subsidiary of Mexico, a paisano was spotted recently in the city subway proudly wearing a pair of Converse All Star Mexican Flag Ajúa Edition.

Want to be as cool as my people but Converse are not your thing? You will want to check out these Nike beauties and — of course — the Cinco de Mayo Adidas.

Photo: @SallyNeiman

Some ‘Fashion’ Designer is Selling a $1,300 ‘Taco Purse’

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Taquera zip round taco shaped clutch [LOL]
Some people just want to see the world burn –and annoy the hell out of this blogger.

Take Italian designer Charlotte Olympia, which is peddling a $1,300 taco purse, a taco-shaped thing “embellished with Swarovski crystals and embroidered silk organza.”

I don’t know you, but $1,300 amounts to about $20,000 Mexican pesos (per today’s exchange rate,) which would be good enough to get you approximately 800 of these.

YES, eight-hundred!

Won't you rather have 800 of these?
Won’t you rather have 800 of these?
A no brainer, my friends.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the burrito bag, please.

Sombrero tip: Mi blog es tu blog’s London correspondent

Sofía Vergara Transitions from ‘Rotating’ to ‘Leaning In’

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Sofia

Last time the Colombian (not Columbian) bombshell was featured on this blog, she had been put to rotate 360 degrees during the annual EMMY’s award ceremony, because apparently that’s what you are supposed to do with hot, Latin women onstage.

This time, Vergara (aka the Colombian, not Columbian, bombshell) graces the May 2015 cover of Vanity Fair magazine, where she talks about many interesting things, including her [fake] accent and –what else?– her “Bombshell Empire.”

But she also talks about Leaning In, which I think it’s awesome and much more interesting than rotating.

Personally, I’m much more comfortable just lying down, but heck, that’s just me!

Macy’s Spring Collection: You, Too, Can Look like a Short, Dark-Skinned Mariachi

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Macys It’s always good to see marketers learn from their past mistakes. Remember the Brown is the New White t-shirt from Macy’s?

Well, no more of that. Instead of launching ethnically-relevant products to please Latino shoppers, Macy’s seems to have changed course and it’s now using tall, unmistakably non-Hispanic blonds to pitch a … are you ready?… “mariachi-style” suit. According to Macy’s own blog, the new collection doesn’t stop there. It promises tons of other Mexican-themed things, including –what else?– plenty of sombreros.

Do I smell sombreros?
Did anybody say ‘sombreros?’

I don’t know you, but I feel like living la vida loca lived by these nice ladies up here, so don’t judge me if the first thing I do when I go back to New York is rush to 34th Street & Broadway. Who doesn’t want to look that fabulous?

¡Ajúa!

Hat tip: gbujanda