Photo: Carolina González
Tandurero = The Mexican Guy who Runs your Tandoori Oven
Category: Food
This Beer Features Donald Trump Wearing a Mariachi Hat and a Swastika Belt Buckle — for some Reason
People have got to stop doing this.
According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”
The “innovative” product comes on the heels of the Trump-inspired toilet paper and other crazy ideas out there.
I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.
So… wake me up in 2024, will ya?
Via: Univision
Parisian Eatery Features “Original French Tacos,” Because it’s 2017 and Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
Remember Paris real authentic Mexican restaurant or the super popular Le Guacamole version Grandé?
Well, Parisians have outdone themselves and are going all in with the whole We-Too-Can-Make-Original-Tacos.
Introducing O’Tacos, “Original French Tacos” that you get to make yourself, or so I can surmise from their logo featuring something that looks like La Pyramide de Louvre — or a tortilla chip, I’m really not sure.
Anyhow, as any pompous French would tell you: C’est quoi ce truc?
Photo: Europe Taco Correspondent, @KentGerman
Texas Protesters to Rep. Matt Rinaldi: ‘No Guacamole for You!’
Hispanics might have found the perfect way to make politicians think twice before taking away their rights and/or implement some BS anti-immigration legislation: Cut down their salsa *and* guacamole supply.
That was in full display earlier this week in Austin, when dozens of Hispanics protested outside state Rep. Matt Rinaldi’s office after he threatened to “put a bullet in one of his colleague’s head” during a scuffle over SB 4, the state’s new anti-“sanctuary cities” law.
But that was not all. According to several press reports, Rinaldi also told Texas democrats in the House that he had called ICE officials on Hispanic activists and wanted them all deported and stuff.
This, of course, didn’t sit well with my people, who retaliated with the most powerful tool at their disposal: By pledging to cut down the supply of salsa, guacamole and other delicious “Hispanic goods” to offending legislators.
So… U.S. politicians have been properly warned: They’d better think twice before messing with Latinos. It’ll be, like, No salsa, No Guacamole for YOU!
Hat tip: Melissa Salas Blair
BREAKING: Sting Goes to Mexico; Holds Taco Like a Boss
This blogger is real busy trying to get to brunch, so no time to write much, so you can just sit and contemplate this pic, like, forever…
Via: El Internet (LOL)
Who Needs Banks When you Can Have Tacos Instead?
If there was any doubt that Mexicans have taken over the USA, take a walk on the wild side… of The Bronx; more especifically, around Webster Avenue, one of the borough’s longest throughfares, and you’ll come across El Rancho, formerly NY Capital Bank, and now home of some of the most delish Mexican food in the area.
Because, really, who needs walls — and/or banks — when you can have tacos?
Photo: Laura Martínez, Bronx, NYC
WARNING: Avocado Knife-Injuries on the Rise, Mostly Among non-Mexicans
OKAY, people, stop doing whatever it is you are doing right now. A potentially devastating malaise known as Avocado Hand is affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado, namely Americans and Brits.
According to the always reliable Daily Mail, the number of people visiting the emergency room suffering from “avocado hand” knife injuries is on the rise. But… how bad exactly is this thing? Well, it is so bad it once got none other than Meryl Streep, who famously required hand surgery after cutting her fingers while preparing a delish guacamole.
The problem is not limited to America, no señor. London-based plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times that he sees about four patients a week now suffering with wounds caused by trying to cut an avocado, because — shockingly — there are avocados in London.
Fortunately, they are plenty of resources out there for you not to end up in the emergency room with a bunch of avocado-clueless anglos. There are even guides and fancy gadgets for you to master your avocado grip.
To wit…
and….
So, get yourself together and don’t say I didn’t warn you….
Forget Comey Gate. What the Hell is a Pizzadilla?
Hat tip: Dabria Misko
California Bar Gave Away ‘Green Cards’ for Climbing Inflatable Wall, Because Cinco de Mayo
Speaking of awesome Cinco de Mayo marketing ideas, a bar in California decided it was a great idea to celebrate the faux Mexican holiday by offering … fake green cards to drunken patrons willing to climb an inflatable border wall.
Wait. What?
According to the always reliable Gustavo Arellano, Hennessey’s Tavern, in Dana Point, California thought it was idea to build a “wall” and offer patrons willing to climb it a “green card,” which would not actually grant them legal status, but get them a free drink, because nothing says “fun” as drunken gringos wearing sombreros and climb walls, you know?
It looks like the promotion — and several videos associated with the stunt — have all been deleted from the bar’s Instagram account, and the establishment in question has since apologized. But, hey, haven’t these people heard about screenshots *and* pesky bloggers?
Via: OCWeekly
Meet the Unicorn Taco: It Hails from Tijuana, and Proves the End of the World Is Near
Move over, Unicorn Frapuccino.
My people (i.e. The Mexicans) have concocted the “Gobernador Unicornio Taco,” which can be prepared with shrimp or marlin and can be yours for only a few pesitos at La Cahua del Yeyo, a local seafood restaurant in — where else? — Tijuana.
Now you know.
Let’s all go hang ourselves –or something.
Via: SanDiegoRed.com
This Steakhouse Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a $100 Margarita, Because Why the Hell not?
Every single year, for as long as I can remember, American corporations do their best to step up their Cinco de Mayo game by launching one ridiculous thing after the other one. Every. Single. Time.
This year, the contenders for this blog’s Stupidest Cinco de Mayo Marketing Effort Award include Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse, a California eatery that will celebrate the nonsensical, American-made “Mexican holiday” with a $100 margarita.
Sí, señor. One hundred dolaritos for a pinche margarita, which features “premium liquor, including Tequila Herradura Selección Suprema and Grand Marnier Centenaire.”
But wait. How does a mix of Herradura and Grand Marnier justify such a high price? I’m glad you asked!
According to an unnecessarily long press release, the $100 margarita “is served in Baccarat’s uniquely designed Diamant Highball, and guests will be invited to take home the glass in Baccarat’s iconic red box.”
OKAY, then, I guess it all makes sense now.
Kill me now.
The TriceraTACO Will Keep your Sad-Looking ‘Taco’ in Place
Move over, plastic taco-truck. Here comes the TriceraTACO, a machine-washable, plastic dinosaur that will hold your hard-shell disgusting tacos for only $13! Please note that given its shape and size, this thing will only hold those things Americans insist on calling a “taco” and will never be suited for a decent al pastor…
The TriceraTACO is now on sale on — where else? — Amazon.com, home of the Deluxe Mexican Yoga Mat and the Mexico Will Pay for the Wall jumpsuit.
¡Que viva el nonsense y el marketing!
Hat tip: Verónica Calderón
Sushi Tacos Are the Latest Food Craze, Because some People Want to Watch the World Burn
Not content with ruining everything with the taco-topped pizza, the Quesalupa and the Biscuit Taco, Americans are at it again.
Meet the SUSHI-TACO, the latest food craze that will soon take over your Instagram account.
According to my very reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) sushi tacos first started popping up on Instagram thanks to Tail and Fin, a restaurant in — where else? — Las Vegas, which is serving up “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell.”
But. Wait. A. Second.
Guess what, you dimwits? A “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell” is not a taco, it’s just sushi, so stop it already!
Via: Metro.com.uk
Someone Made a Pizza Topped with Tacos and Guacamole, Because New Jersey
Tony Boloney’s, an eatery in — where else? — Hoboken, NJ, has concocted The Taco Pizza, an abomination made of queso Oaxaca, carne asada chipotle and a “solid heaping of cheese on top of pizza dough.”
Keep reading on the link below. I’m going to go throw up.
Via: Thrillist
U.S. Post Office Debuts Stamps Featuring Tamales, Sancocho and other Hispanic Delicacies
Yo, immigrant haters: I have real bad news for you.
The U.S. Postal Service has confirmed the issuance of a new series of stamps dedicated “to the influence of Central and South American, Mexican and Caribbean foods and flavors on American cuisine,” because, really, if it weren’t for my people (i.e. the Hispanics) you guys would be stuck eating hamburgers and Taco Bell “food.”
So get ready for a smörgåsbord of tamales, flan, empanadas, chiles rellenos, ceviche and sancocho and start licking these suckers!
Via: The Associated Press
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