Chile Relleno and Wavy Carnitas Street Taco Lay’s Chips are Here… Because 2020 Is a Cruel Year

And just because 2020 couldn’t punish us enough, Lay’s has decided to turn two iconic Mexican dishes into … snacks in a bag. Yes, my friends, I might have been too busy blogging about bad translations in Mexico to focus on what’s really important: Yet, another chapter in the desecration of Mexican food on this side of the border.

Sources close to this sad situation, tell me Lay’s “Wavy Carnitas Street Taco” have been inspired by El Torito restaurant in Los Angeles, while Lay’s “Chile Relleno” took their inspiration from Cocina Azul in Albuquerque.

Now if y’all excuse me; it’s only 9:30 a.m. but I think I’ll go have a María Sangrienta.

Photo via: BestFoods

No, Sellers Bros., Jalapeños are not Mexican Squash


I’m not entirely sure why, but a Texas supermarket chain decided to jalapeñosplain what a chile jalapeño is by calling it “Fresh Mexican Squash.”

Really? After all these years in the USA I can safely say that both, Mexicans and non-Mexicans have a pretty clear idea of what a jalapeño is: a medium-sized chili pepper pod, which is widely used in Mexican and TexMex dishes (and even drinks!). If anything, a “Mexican squash” –at least for this blogger– would be nothing but delicious calabacitas my grandma used to prepare with ham, corn and sour cream when I was growing up in Mexico.

So, don’t try so hard, Sellers Bros: A jalapeño is a jalapeño is a jalapeño.

Photo via Reddit

No, Trader Joe’s; I Don’t think Trader José Is Racist 🙄

In the latest sign that fighting racism in America is not really going to the heart of the problem, Trader Joe’s this week said it will be removing names such as Trader José’s, Arabian Joe’s and Trader Ming’s that critics say are racist and “perpetuates harmful stereotypes.”

The scrutiny comes after a group of young people created a Change.org petition demanding the company to “remove racist branding and packaging from its stores.” At press time, said petition had a little over 3,400 signatures, which is really not that much, considering we’re like 50 million Hispanics around. Said critics insists that Trader Joe’s labeling “belies a narrative of exoticism that perpetuates harmful stereotypes.”

But based on the reactions of many Latinos on Twitter and other platforms, it seems that the so-called stereotype bothers more people who are actually not Latinos lol. Or, in other words, as my pal @DealinRugs said: “There’s bigger fish to fry.”

I don’t know man, I’m way more offended by many of your large corporations’ take on Mexican food, even if they’re not called Juan or José… (Yes, I’m looking at you, Pinche Quesarito).

Via: NPR

 

Ivanka Trump Poses with Can of Goya Beans. Hilarity Ensues

To own the libs, you know?

When it comes to Latino foods and the Trump presidential family, you can expect only the worst: From a ridiculous Taco Bowl post to celebrate Cinco de Mayo to the president’s daughter –and presidential adviser– posing with a can of Goya black beans (Yes, Goya. Black. Beans) to… own the libs you know?

Ivanka’s post posted Tuesday night was a response to boycott calls of the Goya brand after its chief executive officer, Robert Unanue, praised President Trump at a White House event, saying that “we’re all truly blessed” to have him as a leader.

Here’s the original post by the presidential adviser followed by some of the best responses on Twitter.

Make Chiva-Cola Great Again

Now, that’s Better!

Jodiendo Mexicanos

Like Daughter, Like Father

Who did this?

All Beans Matter

Ouch

New Wall Proposal

Ivanka in a nutshell

 

This London Chef Wants you to Put Pineapple Ketchup on Cornflake-crumbed Tacos

The lockdown resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic has been tough on Thomasina Miers’ children. That is why the co-founder of Wahaca, London’s weirdly-named Mexican eatery, has concocted a recipe for tacos that are… well… sure to please Londoners.

We’re talking about Thomasina’s cornflake-crumb fish tacos with a “tangy tropical ketchup,” which apparently is a mix of pineapple and cayenne pepper. For children you know?

The train wreck recipe includes tossing cabbage, onion and coriander on these things and then sprinkle with sea salt and a bit of lime. Thomasina suggests we eat them at once with a cold beer.

Ok, I’ll do the beer and toss out all the rest. Thanks.

Via: The Guardian

Sushiro Introduces ‘Sushi Tacos,’ and they Look as Awful as they Sound

Japanese conveyor-belt sushi chain Sushiro is apparently so fond of Mexican food that is launching its own “Sushi tacos,” a so-called “fusion food” that combines, well, sushi with what they think is a taco.

According to local media, Sushiro’s sushi tacos are priced at 170 yen (about US$1.60 each), and ordered via a touch panel at your seat, just like any other item on the Sushiro menu. And if you think said taco looks hideous in the picture above, wait until you see it in real life.

¡Dios mío!

Fortunately, these things, are only available in Japan –and this blogger certainly hopes it will stay this way.

Cinco de Mayo in the Time of Coronavirus Is Just as Dumb as Regular Cinco de Mayo

Shelter de Mayo? Shoot me I’m muerta

No access to the outside world? No problemo!

District Taco, a so-called taquería based in I-don’t-know-where-but-not-Mexico wants you to know that you can “take back your right to fiesta” by ordering the coronavirus-special sheltering in place combo: Delicioso steak fajitas, PLUS chips with your choice of two dips!

This, of course, is a promotion about this blogger’s favorite “Fake Mexican Fiesta” (FMF) aka Cinco de Mayo, which is just around the corner. ¡Ay!

Anyhow, hold onto your sombreros. The madness is about to begin!

Hat tip: Juan Escalante

 

If 2020 Was a Kitchen Gadget, it Would Be this ‘Taco Toaster’

This thing promises ‘crunchy goodnes,’ but it’s giving me a heart attack instead.

Move over $30-dollar Taco Toaster, here comes a less expensive, even more outrageous contraption to make what Americans think is a taco. I give you the … $22-dollar Made in California Taco Toaster, a plastic/metal mold thingy to hold your “taco” in place while you put it in a toaster –for some reason.

Worse than looking at this thing is reading the description of what it is and what it promises:

Creating a well-executed taco is an artform: salty black beans with sweet onions, blistery red peppers and corn, spicy guacamole, cooling Cotija–and best of all–a crunchy shell you can pile all this goodness into. This petite gadget lets you make crispy taco shells at home in your toaster, without any of the added oil like the ones you’d find in the grocery store.

Now if y’all excuse myself, I’ll go get drunk.

Via: Uncommon Goods

A ‘Latin-Style Fiesta Pet-Parade’ Is Just What 2020 Was Missing

“OK, I’ll pose, but please don’t put me inside the piñata.”

What would you do to raise funds to help cute little furry friends in these times of crisis? Well, how about hosting a “Latin-style” pet parade and livestream it to the millions of suckers stuck at home trying to avoid getting coronavirus?

That is exactly what the San Antonio Humane Society will be doing on May 2. At approximately 3 p.m. local time, the society will livestream its annual Fiesta fundraising event, which helps raise funds to support local shelters, adoption and care programs in the area.

According to the local press, those who log on for the virtual fun can expect to enjoy a parade of “furry friends modeling sombreros and posing beside papier maché margaritas,” because apparently that’s what pets in San Antonio do.

I’m not sure the below canine looks particularly happy at the prospect of drinking a paper margarita, but then again, I’m not a pet person, so who knows?

“Make it quick, Jen, I feel totally ridiculous.”

Hat tip: Melissa Salas Blair; photos via: San Antonio Express News

We Must Stop Cauliflower Tortillas Before it’s Too Late

As if I didn’t have enough bad news these days, someone just mentioned Cauliflower, a Los Angeles-based company determined to “reinvent our favorite foods” with healthier options, including cauliflower rice, cauliflower chips and cauliflower pizza dough.

While I couldn’t care less about what they do to rice and pizza, they’re now proudly peddling the ¡Viva Cauliflower Tortilla! apparently because people really really needed a grain-free, cauliflower tortilla to wrap God knows what in them.

“Caulipower’s mission is to listen to what people want,” Gail Becker, founder and CEO of Caulipower, told Baking Business. “Like pizza, tortillas are beloved, versatile and a natural fit for us to create a better-for-you option.”

Listen, Gail, I’m sure you’re all healthy and all that, but who are you to say this is a better-for-me option? Last time I checked, my better-for-me-option was a deliciously greasy set of carnitas wrapped in –what else?– a double corn tortilla.

Besides, if you really really want a healthy meal, just go squash some cauliflower and roll things inside it, but don’t call these things tortillas if you don’t want me to throw a fit.

Thank you very much for your cooperation.

Photo via: Caulipower

Inspired by Mexico, a Chicago Bakery Is Now Making its Own Conchavirus

They look more like happy frogs, but it’s the intention that counts, right?

Well, that didn’t take long.

Barely a couple of days after this VERY INFLUENTIAL BLOG first reported on the Iztapalapa conchavirus, a small bakery in Chicago is now making their own version.

“We wanted to turn a negative into a positive one by creating my very own conchavirus,” Eddie Vázquez, executive pastry chef and owner at Rosy’s Bakery, told ABC News Chicago.

Fortunately for Mr. Vázquez, Chicagoans are so excited about they’re placing their orders by the dozen, and I still don’t know how they get the courage to go out, but that’s another story…

It’s not a secret that 2020 sucks, but –heck– it has been a good year for conchas.

Mexican Bakery Introduces the Conchavirus, because Mexico

From Iztapalapa to the world…

Speaking of Mexico and the seriousness of COVID-19, a bakery in Iztapalapa, Mexico has come up with a coronavirus-like sweet bread, which they’re calling –what else?– the conchavirus. According to a very reliable source (i.e. a commenter on my Instagram feed) the genius behind this thing is Panificadora Juanito, a 30-year-old establishment which prides itself of using all natural ingredients.

Oh, did I mention the conchavirus is only $6.50 pesos? That’s… practically USD 25 cents.

Filing under “Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?”

Hat tip: @DatBoopGirl

Tortillas, Toilet Paper and the Importance of the Simple Things

My local deli recently ran out of toilet paper, but it stocks plenty of these. So, we’re good…

I spent a good part of Tuesday, March 17 looking for toilet paper in my neighborhood –to no avail. Somehow, the coronavirus crisis has turned people in some sort of toilet paper-hoarding zombies, emptying the shelves at supermarkets, bodegas and pharmacies.

The craziness is not limited to New York City or even the US: My brother sent me a photo (below) from a Mexico City supermarket, showing people doing exactly the same thing: Hoarding toilet-paper –except supplies seem to be abundant down there (at least for now.)

What’s with toilet paper?

I tried again one day later and this time my local bodega (PapaSito) proudly advertised that toilet paper was back, so I went in (naturally). Several rolls of toilet paper wrapped individually sat at the top of a very tall counter, one I couldn’t reach, so I asked a fellow Mexican who works there for help. Our conversation went something like this:

–Can you please pass me four of those? –I asked.

-Four? Only four? –said the man almost incredulous. –Why don’t you take more? People are coming in and getting 15-30 rolls at once…

-Because… I’m not deranged? –I replied.

My paisano cracked up upon hearing that, and then noticed I had also bought a few packs of corn tortillas.

–Well, I’d be damned if we were to run out of those! –He said pointing at my packs of Poblanitas.

I walked away thinking he was absolutely right and was happy to get back to my quarantine (not before I stopped for some other basic goods.)

Bagel Shop Launches ‘Bagelrito,’ Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

Starting Thursday, Feb. 27 and until the deadly coronavirus takes us all (hopefully soon) Einstein Bros. Bagels will start selling the Bagelrito, a “big, bold, and easy to hold” bagel/burrito mash-up that looks as disgusting as it sounds.

The company claims this thing was a smashing success in Denver, CO test markets –for some reason, but this blogger is looking forward to never having to see this thing ever again. Ever.