Category Archives: Guacala

There’s a Taco Bell Hotel in the Works and I Can’t Even

Not content with giving the mighty taco a VERY BAD NAME, Taco Bell is close to opening The Bell, a Taco Bell-themed pop-up hotel, which has some people really excited –for some reason. According to an inexplicably long news article … Continue reading

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No, Australia, We Don’t Want your Hideous Pineapple Burrito

Turns out June 27 is World Pineapple Day (for some reason) so Australian fast-food chain Mad Mex decided to release its first pineapple burrito, a “limited edition” thing that –thank God– will be available only in Australia. In an unnecessarily … Continue reading

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West Harlem: Now Proudly Serving Dominican Sushi

…Whatever that means Photo: Laura Martinez (Harlem)

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Americans are Putting Avocado on a Stick and I’m Screaming

Was this really necessary? The short answer is no, but it seems like Americans in general –and millennials in particular– continue to find ways to ruin everything. According to an unnecessarily long article, this thing was conceived by some dude … Continue reading

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Bush’s Beans ‘Cocina Latina’ Products are Making me Very Sad

American corporations will stop at nothing when marketing “Latin-inspired” food to my always-hungry people (i.e. The Hispanics.) The most recent example of this is Bush’s Beans Comida Latina, which features a product line of prepared beans –and hominy– just like … Continue reading

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The Avocado Toast Sneakers are Here, Because Hipsters are Determined to Ruin Everything

Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well. Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the … Continue reading

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Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!

Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate. This thing was last seen at a local store for … Continue reading

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