Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
Immigrants with a knack for the Internet are becoming a threat to both, virtual ‘border patrols’ working from the comfort of their home and Minute Men on the line of danger.
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This is the stupid “funny” sign posted outside the business of Flash Sharrar, owner of Team Ramco in Yuma, Az. who says is tired of having to turn away Hispanics looking for jobs. He says he is using the word ‘yobs’ because that’s the way we (i.e. Hispanics) pronounce ‘jobs.’
“These people come into our shop like they own the place and then argue with me about getting a job. I figured I would use their language to let them know there are no jobs here,” Mr. Sharrar told the Arizona Republic.
Well, maybe he’d be better off by actually posting a sign in our language, as in Aquí no hay trabajo. But I’m suspecting that would be a bit too much for monolingual Flash (or shall I call him Flach?)
That’s it my friends. Remember the New York sixtuplets, the first ever born to a Hispanic couple? Soon, they will be joining the billions millions of little ones taking over populating America’s kindergartens. According to the latest Census data:
“Nearly a quarter of all the nation’s kindergarten students are Hispanic, more than triple the rate during the 1970s.”
That is roughly ….a lot of chilpayates.
And wait ’till you hear some staggering statistics about tortillas consumption. Stay tuned. More Census data to come.
Photo: Viktor Glez
Now that the U.S. State Department has issued a travel alert warning people about the dangers of going to Mexico, thousands of reckless American teenagers are pondering their options: To go or not to go to Cancún for their spring break and terrorize the locals with their binge drinking and wet T-shirt parties.
But while many are already considering alternative destinations, Minnesotan teens seem to be much more adventurous:
“I read that the main problems are alcohol and the club scene — which pretty much sums up my spring break,” a sophmore told Minnesota’s Star Tribune.
You go girl!
Barack Obama this week put in a call to Univision Radio’s Eddie “Piolín” Sotelo to let him know he’s hard at work fixing the immigration mess -and that they are now BFF. I’m not going to bother you with details (you can read the full transcript here) but the highlights of the show were definitely the first and last 5 seconds:
1:48 P.M. MST
THE PRESIDENT: Hello.
PIOLIN: Hello.
THE PRESIDENT: Who am I speaking with?
PIOLIN: Piolín.
THE PRESIDENT: Piolín, my friend, this is President Barack Obama.
And, just a few minutes later, at 1:57 P.M. MST:
THE PRESIDENT: All right. Well, thank you so much, Piolín. It’s great to talk to you.
PIOLIN: Mr. President, you know we are close friends and you know that I have your BlackBerry phone number and you have mine.(Laughter.) So keep in touch.
While U.S. legislators in several states are trying to pass English-only policies, the Mexican state of Tamaulipas is going bilingual, mandating that all children learn English, as well as Spanish. The reason?
Tamaulipas state authorities told The Guardian the pilot program “will break down language barriers and create opportunities.” Because, you know, that’s what knowing another language is supposed to do.
This, however, doesn’t seem to be the case at New Jersey’s Vineland High School, which recently handed out a “Classroom Protocol Contract” stating: “This is an English speaking school and classroom — any other language other than English will not be tolerated.”
(Why, I wonder, are the rest of us supposed to tolerate monolingualism?)
Looking for Hispanic stuff on the net? Google gives surfers all kinds of options, from creating an email alert for the term “hispanic” to the possibility of subscribing to a news feed for “hispanic” in Google Reader.
Oh, and just in case, your search comes complete with automated, related topics to the word “Hispanic,” including illegal and, of course, Bill Richardson. Why not?
This country might be in the middle of an economic slump, but job seekers shouldn’t worry: the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol Protection is looking to hire 11,000 people this year! According to the agency’s guidelines, the job has a starting salary range of about $35,000 to $45,000, depending on qualifications, but you can be bumped up to around $55,000 in about two years (given you catch lots of mexicanos along the way.)
“We have gone through unprecedented expansion in the last several years. We need additional folks,” CBP’s spokesperson Tara Dunlop told AP.
All trainees are required to learn Spanish, although there’s nothing against heavy-accented people. Perhaps Melody Morales will want to give it a try?
If you follow New York City media, I’m sure you are now familiar with the plight of Melody Morales, who is suing Manhattans’ Hawaiian Tropic eatery for alleged discrimination. Their crime? Despite Morales’ “stunning figure” and her being really comfy wearing a bikini at work, she was refused a job for not “speaking white.”
“I don’t want to brag, but I look great in a bikini. I have great curves, tits, and just love to dress sexy,” the half Puerto Rican half Dominican told El Diario La Prensa. Alas, the hiring manager wanted none of that, saying her Latino accent would only ruin his business.
See? I always knew having an accent was going to hamper my chances of going to places in the U.S. And that is why I’m not rushing to send in my resume to Hawaiian Tropic (even if they are hiring… and they’re, like, a few blocks from home. Damn it!)
It’s only hours before inauguration, and while Obama might be busy moving into the White House and dining with VIPs, he would be well advised to pause for a second and give Hispanic children a chance. Per Jory John’s OpEd piece in the New York Times, a mostly Hispanic crowd of little ones were invited to write a letter to the president elect to share their thoughts, hopes and advice to Mr. Obama.
There were, of course, lots of memorable requests (“Dear Mr. Obama: You look too skinny, you should eat more food”) but my favorite one came from 9-year-old Chad Timsing, of Los Angeles, who wrote:
Dear President Obama,
Could you help my family to get housecleaning jobs? I hope you will be a great president. If I were president, I would help all nations, even Hawaii. President Obama, I think you could help the world.
Could he? I’m sure there’s a lot of cleaning to be done at the White House.
Photo: The New York Times
Spanish-language translation: Y ahora, ¿quién podrá defendernos?
Mexico City’s largest newspaper Reforma this week launched Legal Alien, a daily videoblog chronicling the “tough life” of a Mexican immigrant in the U.S.
“What is it with Mexico that many of us are coming to this country, either swimming [across the river] or even hiding under a truck?” laments Alonso Castillo, who looks more like a member of RBD than a Mexican immigrant starving for work opportunities.
Some of the readers’ comments to Castillo’s postings are pretty hilarious, including some begging him to get a job in Televisa. Alas, most encourage him to go on, because, you know, if you are a reader of Reforma, chances most of your Mexican friends and relatives now living in Miami look exactly like Castillo.
Finally, a social networking site has been put to some fucked up use. BlueServo, a social networking site you’ve probably never heard of, has partnered with the Texas Border Sheriff’s Coalition to launch Virtual Stakeout operation, a $2 million initiative involving a series of web cams placed along the Texas-Mexico border allowing the average Joe to become a Minuteman of sort.
According to their own press release, the pitch is real simple: Help us catch real Mexicans on real time!
It is not yet clear what the virtual deputies will get as a reward other than the possibility of making their lives a bit less dull. (I am told thousands of people from around the country have signed on to become virtual deputies, including a few dozens in Aquilla, Ohio.)
Wondering what to get your familia in these times of economic uncertainty? How about a front-row ticket to see some real fighting between Mexican wrestling legends and a bunch of Americans dressed as Border Patrol agents?
No, people, this is no joke. San Francisco-based Pro Wrestling Revolution is making it all happen, and tickets are only, like, $10 apiece (almost the cost of a Chipotle gourmet burrito.)
Now, that is what I call a good deal… (and wrestling I can actually relate to.)
I don’t know about you, but I plan to celebrate Thanksgiving by honoring those who paved the way for our paisanos en el campo. (Oh, and by saying “paved” I didn’t mean to say “pavo.”)
Happy Sansgivin!
Image: Dry Bones
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