Why eat a regular concha when you can eat a Popocatépetl-inspired concha.
Mexicans have done it again, my friends.
As our capricious Popocatépetl volcano rumbles back to life, scaring the living hell out of many Mexicans (yours truly included) a baker in Puebla has come up with a brilliant idea: To bake a Popocatépetl-inspired concha called — what else? — the Conchatépetl.
It comes stuffed with strawberry to “simulate” the lava, and it costs only $20 pesitos.
Filing under Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?
A recent trip to the Mexican states of Hidalgo, Querétaro and Guanajuato just confirmed what this blogger always suspected: My people just looooove quotation marks.
Check out the following gallery (by yours truly) to see only a few examples of our love affair with the ubiquitous comillas.
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Then again… Some small business owners just take the simplest — and yet still adorable — way to peddle their wares, like this clothing store in Pinal de Amoles, Querétaro:
You might not know this, but I have been trying to keep a diary since you got sick, bonita.
Rest assured it is not a drab, depressing detailed medical minutia some people might expect. It is rather (or hopes to be) an upbeat, objective timeline to try to keep track of where things stand today (March 30, 2023) – and what has happened since you entered a cold hospital room on Feb. 17 with nothing but a bad back pain.
I know this sounds selfish, but I want (need) you to know you have been on my mind 24/7 since that Sunday afternoon when my brother called – in panic – saying you might be very, very sick. Fortunately, things have been better ever since and I’m here to be close to you. For as long as it takes.
Yes, there were doctors who gave up on you at some point, only to be told to basically FUCK OFF because, I mean, you are only 28. Screw them. We’re fighting this to the end. Go, Catus-Condo!
Of course you know this, but there is an army of well-intentioned people who adore you and who are doing all we can to move Heaven & Earth to make sure you’re OK. We know you’re calm, painless and asleep right now and that gives us peace.
If life has taught me anything, is that the medical profession can do wonders, but not nearly as much as the army of people sending you prayers and great vibes on a regular basis, every day, all the time: Did you know we got folks sending you thoughts and love from places like Austin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Belica, Berlin, Los Angeles, Miami, New York City, New Paltz, Manila, Munich, Tijuana, Toluca, Querétaro, Washington D.C., and Zagreb, like EVERY SINGLE DAY? Yeah, you’re worth that – and so much more.
We got you, bonita.
You mean so much to so many of us, that you’d be well advised to come out of your beauty sleep and come sing, dance with us.
Take your time, of course, we’ll be here for your curls, your voice, your ukulele –and your incredibly witty sense of humor.
Intrigued about what Americans understand to be “Hispanic Foods,” I ventured into aisle 11 in a Catskill, NY supermarket only to find a bunch of non-Hispanic, definitely-NOT-Mexican, dubious looking things, including Old El Paso’s Tortilla pocket kits, large cans of taco seasoning, Juanita’s Nacho Cheese Sauce and other such horrors.
I was kind of hoping to at least grab me some Hispanic cheese, but nope; no cheese was to be found in aisle 11. Perhaps there’s a Hispanic cheese aisle I’m missing, so I’ll go look for it and will keep y’all posted.
If you caught the Grammy Awards ceremony last Sunday (and you are someone like me always looking for the awkwardness) you might have noticed the closed captioning during Bad Bunny’s opening act, which was… well… awkward.
And that is because while he was presenting or singing away, the captions only read “[SPEAKING NON-ENGLISH]” and “[SINGING IN NON-ENGLISH]” apparently, because that’s the language spoken by my people.
Ok, CBS, I get it. To be real honest, I have no idea what he’s talking *and* singing about most of the time. Still…
The only great thing about the closed captioning brouhaha is that someone came up with the awesome idea of launching a non-English Spotify list, featuring –who else?– Bad Bunny himself along with other English –non-English– performers.
And just when I thought tacos hadn’t been insulted enough in this country, today I learned about a new, disturbing trend: Gender Reveal Tacos, featuring plasticky, rosca-like niños dios and what looks like pink and … green tortillas –for some reason.
As someone who has long detested the entire premise of gender-reveal events, I’m really not quite sure what people are supposed to do with the above. Are the proud parents-to-be supposed to eat the plastic babies? Wrap them in a pink –or green– tortilla depending on the creaatures’ so-called gender?
Also: Does throwing a big serrano in the mix is a hint to let us know it’s going to be a … boy? (please go Google “chile” as a nickname for penis, etc.)
So many questions!
Perhaps, as one of my Twitter followers put it, the economy is so sucky right now, that El niño has “picked up a new gig doing gender reveals since the rosca wasn’t cutting it.”
‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.
Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.
In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2023 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.
Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!
Alguien está vendiendo Babies Yoda para Roscas de Reyes y no les voy a decir quién soy… 😅
First things first: I do not watch Newsmax, and quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to since I don’t have cable TV.
However, I couldn’t help but flagging a clip I found online about Rob Finnerty, a poor white television host who can no longer find an American Girl doll that looks like his daughter, because the popular doll brand has been … wokeified.
“My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified”
Funny how the existence of a few black and brown dolls in a world where white dolls rule still triggers this kind of panic in white, right-wing folks.
Get yourself together, Roberto, we’re not that scary!
Newsmax host says he couldn’t find an American Girl doll that looked like his daughter: “My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified” pic.twitter.com/JeWcZ7vZ2c
OK, y’all. For years, Twitter was my favorite (and pretty much only) social media platform, but then Elon came around and broke it (i.e. fucked it up).
Not content with ruining everyting, tonight, on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 el pendejo decided to reinstate the other pendejo, so, even if blogging takes longer and costs this blogger more money that it should, I plan to take all my taco –and -non-taco – funny rants here again.
I apologize to my almost 37,000 Twitter followers for the lack of activity over there. I promise I will try to keep the fun here as much as possible. And, yes, while there are no popular hashtags on WordPress, let me get you started on some good ones:
#PincheMusk #PincheTrump #FuckTwitter #RIPTwitter
p.s. If you see this post pop up on your Twitter feed, it is because I have an automated feature set up for this so you can (hopefully) come visit, and not because I’m back on this hell hole again.
One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez 1967 masterpiece, is coming to… a Netflix screen near you.
Yup, the streaming giant on Friday released the trailer of the series, which is being executive produced by Marquez’s sons Rodrigo Garcia and Gonzalo García Barcha.
It is the first-ever adaptation of García Márquez’s epic novel which follows the saga of the Buendía family and the building of the city of Macondo in the middle of a swamp.
Netflix has not yet announced a date of release, but this blogger will be closely watching to see how this thing plays out one of her favorite books ever –or becomes a flop, like many things Netflix has touched in the past. So, stay tuned.
I don’t know, man, even the trailer looks… too cute for my taste.
In which Rafa & Barbie inform us they can travel to Puerto Rico without needing a passport
It’s only been, like, a day, but brands are already jumping on the Hispanic Heritage Month action. Take Mattel’s most annoying toy, Barbie, who is celebrating by befriending a Latino dude named Rafa who teaches her to –what else? – how to salsa.
This clip is barely a minute, but it has everything I’ve come to expect from these kind of “homages,” namely salsa, abuelas, Tito Puente, Yolanda Rivera and the island of Puerto Rico, where Barbie & Rafa remind us they can travel to without carrying a passport!
Hold on to your sombreros: The 2022 Hispanic Hellish Month is just getting started!
Remember that nonsensical trend of putting “eñes” where they don’t belong just to make something look –and sound– more authentically “Latino?”
Well, it looks like salsa makers and Hispanic journalists organizations are not alone in this thing. The latest to jump on the nonsensical “eñe wagon” (or should I say “wagoñ?”) is the National Football League, which has added an “eñe” to give its logo an “unmistakable Latin flavor.”
Ay, dios mío!
I get it. As we “celebrate” the dreaded Hispanic Heritage Month, corporations, politicians and NGOs want to sound all cute and Latin in order to properly pander to my people, but how about learning first to put the “eñe” where it DOES belong? Like in “jalapeño?” for example?
IPAndemia: The Mexican IPA you didn’t know you needed.
The mexicans have done it, my friends. I hereby present you with IPANDEMIA, a West Coast IPA celebrating “los héroes de la salud,” the heroes of our health –forever and ever.
Remember that 
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 