Move Over, Baby Jesus! Baby Yoda Wants a Piece of your Rosca de Reyes

‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.

Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.

In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2023 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.

Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!

I don’t know about you, I just think it’s adorbs!

ayñ

Mexico: Home of “Entrepreneurs” –and “Quotation Marks”

Photo: Laura Martínez. Coatepec, Veracruz. December 2022

Awwww, Mexico… The land of the coc nuts coold and the Special Chapo Coffee, is also ground zero for small businesses –and plenty of quotation marks.

A recent trip to the Mexican states of Hidalgo, Querétaro and Guanajuato just confirmed what this blogger always suspected: My people just looooove quotation marks.

Check out the following gallery (by yours truly) to see only a few examples of our love affair with the ubiquitous comillas.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Then again… Some small business owners just take the simplest — and yet still adorable — way to peddle their wares, like this clothing store in Pinal de Amoles, Querétaro:

Clothes
Clothing

 

 

Poor Newsmax Host Can’t Find Doll that Looks Like His Daughter

First things first: I do not watch Newsmax, and quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to since I don’t have cable TV.

However, I couldn’t help but flagging a clip I found online about Rob Finnerty, a poor white television host who can no longer find an American Girl doll that looks like his daughter, because the popular doll brand has been … wokeified.

“My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified”

Funny how the existence of a few black and brown dolls in a world where white dolls rule still triggers this kind of panic in white, right-wing folks.

Get yourself together, Roberto, we’re not that scary!

 

I’m Gonna Make Blogging Great Again

OK, y’all. For years, Twitter was my favorite (and pretty much only) social media platform, but then Elon came around and broke it (i.e. fucked it up).

Not content with ruining everyting, tonight, on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 el pendejo decided to reinstate the other pendejo, so, even if blogging takes longer and costs this blogger more money that it should, I plan to take all my taco –and -non-taco – funny rants here again.

I apologize to my almost 37,000 Twitter followers for the lack of activity over there. I promise I will try to keep the fun here as much as possible. And, yes, while there are no popular hashtags on WordPress, let me get you started on some good ones:

#PincheMusk
#PincheTrump
#FuckTwitter
#RIPTwitter

p.s. If you see this post pop up on your Twitter feed, it is because I have an automated feature set up for this so you can (hopefully) come visit, and not because I’m back on this hell hole again.

Thank you all for following me here. I promise to make blogging GREAT again!

#MBGA

 

Netflix Teases ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’; this Blogger Braces for the Worst

One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez 1967 masterpiece, is coming to… a Netflix screen near you.

Yup, the streaming giant on Friday released the trailer of the series, which is being executive produced by Marquez’s sons Rodrigo Garcia and Gonzalo García Barcha.

It is the first-ever adaptation of García Márquez’s epic novel which follows the saga of the Buendía family and the building of the city of Macondo in the middle of a swamp.

Netflix has not yet announced a date of release, but this blogger will be closely watching to see how this thing plays out one of her favorite books ever –or becomes a flop, like many things Netflix has touched in the past. So, stay tuned.

I don’t know, man, even the trailer looks… too cute for my taste.

Barbie Befriends Latino, Learns to Salsa, Because Hispanic Heritage Month!

In which Rafa & Barbie inform us they can travel to Puerto Rico without needing a passport

It’s only been, like, a day, but brands are already jumping on the Hispanic Heritage Month action. Take Mattel’s most annoying toy, Barbie, who is celebrating by befriending a Latino dude named Rafa who teaches her to –what else? – how to salsa.

This clip is barely a minute, but it has everything I’ve come to expect from these kind of “homages,” namely salsa, abuelas, Tito Puente, Yolanda Rivera and the island of Puerto Rico, where Barbie & Rafa remind us they can travel to without carrying a passport!

Hold on to your sombreros: The 2022 Hispanic Hellish Month is just getting started!

hat tip: @LeChancle

The NFL Changes “N” to “Ñ” to Give Logo an “Unmistakable Latin Flavor”

Remember that nonsensical trend of putting “eñes” where they don’t belong just to make something look –and sound– more authentically “Latino?”

Well, it looks like salsa makers and Hispanic journalists organizations are not alone in this thing. The latest to jump on the nonsensical “eñe wagon” (or should I say “wagoñ?”) is the National Football League, which has added an “eñe” to give its logo an “unmistakable Latin flavor.”

Ay, dios mío!

I get it. As we “celebrate” the dreaded Hispanic Heritage Month, corporations, politicians and NGOs want to sound all cute and Latin in order to properly pander to my people, but how about learning first to put the “eñe” where it DOES belong? Like in “jalapeño?” for example?

My Thoughts on the Whole “Latinx” Debate

I made a meme

I really didn’t want to do it, but then I thought about it and, well, what the heck? In my latest column for Hispanic Executive Magazine I went down the “x” rabbit hole and tried to “Hisplain” the so-called controversy around “Latinx.”

In a nutshell:

I must tell you I do not use “Latinx” in my daily life or my writing, nor do I identify myself as such. (Truth be told, I’m totally fine being called whatever—as long as you don’t call me before 8:00 a.m.)

But you can also click here to read the whole thing…

 

Mexican Food According to Croatia

Taquitos Bandidos in Downtown Zagreb. Photo: Laura Martínez, July 2022

Good morning from Zagreb!

So, here I was, strolling through the capital of Croatia, taking in the sights and sounds of this gorgeous city, when I bumped into “Taquitos Bandidos,” a small joint in Downtown Zagreb luring visitors with the promise of “Street Food.”

Of course I didn’t come all the way here to eat make-believe Mexican food, but I was intrigued and walked in to see the menu, which was brought to me by a family of flautas dressed like “bandidos,” complete with mustachios and sombreros, with one of them even waving a gun.

The menu features your regular taquitos, quesadillas and “spicy dips,” but of course, being from someone totally clueless about what Mexican food is all about, it includes chilli con carne and… chicken salad wraps.

The only good thing I found here was that they actuallly sell Jarritos, which of course cost as much as a bottle of Corona and way more than what they believe is tequila.

As for the food, well if it looks like this … so don’t blame me if I go in there soon to ask them to DELETE THEIR MENU.

I don’t know what the hell this is