Remember the culturally-relevant padlock, which allowed Hispanics to set their combination in Spanish?

Well, a company in St. Louis, Missouri is now launching Blue Selecto, the “first Spanish-language only programmable thermostat” in the market. The gadget, says Emerson Climate Technologies, was the result of “exhaustive” research that showed that “most Spanish-speaking homeowners feel enthusiastic about the opportunity to use an accurate digital thermostat in their own language.”

I couldn’t agree more, because there is nothing more reassuring than knowing Vent is short for Ventilación (not Ventilation;) Temp is short Temperatura, not Temperatura and so on.

(Oh, and just in case you were wondering: 70 in Spanish is also 70.)

There is nothing like a thick, white moustache to show the world how good you are are doing… what?

Drink milk. I guess.

Forget Papi Chulo and Mamacita teddy bears. In these turbulent economic times, why pay for a stuffed animal when you can get yourself some aquatic, battery-enabled entertainment?

This Limited Edition Dora Aquapet takes 2 AA batteries and promises a lifetime of pleasure next to our favorite Latin niña, Dora the Explorer. Oh, and unlike Vermont’s Latin teddy bears, which go for as much as $79.95, this beauty is only $19.95!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

(Todo con exceso, nada con medida.)

With this portable electronic rosary player, all you have to do is push a button to be able to pray the rosary in only 26 minutes: You can pray while you walk, cook, drive or rest. Yes, you can. And it’s only like, four easy payments of $240 pesos each*.

“I don’t have to go to church anymore. My granddaughter gave me this little thing and it’s really wonderful,” says one happy user.

“This is like praying with the Virgin herself,” adds another one –who goes by the name of Karolina Preciado Domit.

So, what are you waiting for? (Hurry! the peso has just devalued another 50% against the U.S. dollar, so this gadget is truly a bargain.)

*No incluye baterías. Los resultados pueden variar. No se garantizan milagros. No incluye cuentitas.

Wondering what Latinos are planning to do with our trillion dollars worth of purchasing power?… We’re buying Latin-themed teddy bears!

Looking to tap into our allegedly HUGE economic potential (even if most of us are out of work) the Vermont Teddy Bear Company not only has launched a Spanish-language Web site, but is now pitching its very own Hispanic-targeted teddy bears, because -you know- Latinos love to give each other Latin-themed gifts.

“In addition to our line of over 100 bears for hobbies, occupations, sports and Valentine’s Day, we developed a Mamacita Bear, Papi Chulo, El Amante with an AMOR tattoo, a Te Amo bear and a Latin Lover bear,” Irene Steiner, marketing manager for Vermont Teddy Bear, told Portada magazine.

Alas, these bundles of furry, Latin joy don’t come cheap: Osita mamacita sells for as much as $69.95, while leather pant-wearing Latin Lover (my personal favorite) is “only” $79.95. But that’s OK, I guess. We’ve got the love… and the dough!

Wanna go to Mexico but cannot afford to lose all your dinerito at the hands of some very mean people? Worry no more: the Melbourne, Australia branch of STA Travel has a plan for you. For only $2.60 a day, you can insure your trip to Mexico; enjoy the thrills of being mugged and bring back some cool stories to tell your friends. And with all the extra savings, you may even be able to afford a gun.

(And you thought Mexico was only about beaches, mariachis, tequila and big-breasted mexicanas. Shame on you!)

Photo: Ballardian

Extra! Extra! Vicks can harm your children. Oh, and this news has been brought to you by… Vicks.

From this morning’s Yahoo News.

My grandma used to say* there is nothing new under the sun. And to prove this point, a toy maker this week is releasing a new line of toys featuring none other than El Chavo del 8, the 35-year-old series featuring an 8-year-old child created -and portrayed- by 80-year-old Roberto Gómez Bolaños (aka Chespirito.)

The new toys from Fundex are debut just in time for Three Kings Day, and they are based on the animated series of El Chavo. But if you want to get your hands on them, you must rush to your nearest Target, because you will not find them anywhere else. (Sorry, Walmart and Kmart.)

*Please forgive my Forrest Gump lapsus.

Meet the Bus Ateo (The Atheist Bus), featuring the latest advertising effort by Spain’s Unión de Ateos y Librepensadores, which on Jan. 12 will roll buses in Catalunya and Madrid encouraging citizens to stop worrying and enjoy life, as God probably doesn’t exist. The slogan reads:

“Probablemente Dios no existe. Deja de preocuparte y disfruta la vida.“

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if the campaign claims that God probably doesn’t exist, shouldn’t we be calling it the Agnostic Bus, instead?

Only God knows.