Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.
In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2023 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.
Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!
Alguien está vendiendo Babies Yoda para Roscas de Reyes y no les voy a decir quién soy… 😅
A Mexican fútbol fan (most likely a chilango) traveled all the way to Qatar and brought with him a huge speaker blasting my country’s famed “¡Se compran.. colchones .. tambores .. refrigeradores … estufas … lavadoras … microondas … o algo de fierro viejo que vendan!” a recording that is now used by thousands of peddlers of scrap metal all over Mexico.
I have no idea who this dude is but he rules. (Oh and the vid is NOT mine, I sort of “borrowed” it from the Internet.)
OK, y’all. For years, Twitter was my favorite (and pretty much only) social media platform, but then Elon came around and broke it (i.e. fucked it up).
Not content with ruining everyting, tonight, on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 el pendejo decided to reinstate the other pendejo, so, even if blogging takes longer and costs this blogger more money that it should, I plan to take all my taco –and -non-taco – funny rants here again.
I apologize to my almost 37,000 Twitter followers for the lack of activity over there. I promise I will try to keep the fun here as much as possible. And, yes, while there are no popular hashtags on WordPress, let me get you started on some good ones:
#PincheMusk #PincheTrump #FuckTwitter #RIPTwitter
p.s. If you see this post pop up on your Twitter feed, it is because I have an automated feature set up for this so you can (hopefully) come visit, and not because I’m back on this hell hole again.
If you thought Trump announcing a presidential bid for 2024 was the worst piece of news this year, think again: Del Taco – which dares call itself a “Mexican restaurant” – said it has added “Mexican-Style tortas” to their menu.
The company said (apparently with a straight face and via an unecessarily long press release) that their tortas are so epic that they will be known as Epic Tortas. Their excitement is such, that the chain temporarily changed its name to “Del Torta,” which –naturally– makes no sense whatsover.
This blogger is just gonna say one thing: Make Tortas Great Again!*
*and if you’re not up to the task, please just leave tortas alone.
Come November, there’s one thing that really, really, gets on my nerves (besides pumpkin-spice stuff, of course) and that is America’s obsession with the Mexican tradition known as Día de Muertos (basically Day of the Dead) or as some here dare calling it: Mexico’s Halloween.
Back in 2019, and just in time for Día de Muertos (or what Americans dare call “Mexican Halloween”) Mattel came up with a signature Barbie Día de Muertos which – according to a very long press release – featured a “long, embroidered dress decorated with flowers and butterflies [and] a crown with the iconic monarch butterflies and the cempasúchitl flower to honor, in every way, the symbols and offerings of this emblematic Mexican tradition.”
Today, as if the COVID-19 pandemic hadn’t brought so many calamities to the world, she is back, and she’s not alone: Mattel’s Second Edition Barbie Día de Muertos comes with a catrina-faced Ken Doll Día de Muertos, featuring a “charro look” and a “calavera sugar skull bolero tie and sombrero with a golden band.”
Nope, I’m not making this up. Today, Monday, September 19, 2022, at around 1:07 pm local time, Mexico City residents were shaken (not stirred) by a 7.6 magnitude earthquake, that killed at least one and damaged a lot of buildings across several states.
I first learned about it not on Twitter, but on the family WhatsApp that was going nuts with voicemail notifications from my brother and sister sounding really really scared. The first message, from my brother, came through at 2:08 pm/EST and it simply said “Está temblando,” two words any born and raised Mexican knows all too well.
Then came my sister with a 7-second message saying it was really fucking bad and then I sort of panicked.
I had been in transit but as soon as I got home I called to make sure they were OK. Thankfully, everyone was unscathed. Scared shit still, but unharmed.
Barely 7 or 8 minutes later, the memes started pouring in. It was – once again – my people’s way of dealing with calamities, from highlighting the HUGE coincidence of the September 19 date to celebrating the inevitability of our demise.
I’m just gonna post a few examples below to give you an idea of what’s going on today post-sismo, but feel free to follow this blogger’s Twitter feed to keep up in real time.
Doña Ángela, the adorable abuelita behind the super successful YouTube channel De mi rancho a tu cocina, continues to reign on the video channel, where she has amassed (pun intended) over 4 million subscribers –and counting.
Doña Ángela is not TV famous, and her kitchen does not boast any Michelin stars, and that’s because she’s the real enchilada, cooking all kinds of delicious stuff from her humble kitchen in Michoacán. Watch her make everything, from juicy carnitas to cheese-stuffed chayotes (yum!)
But the best part of the whole thing (at least for this blogger) is that Doña Ángela continues to get way more pageviews than other folks pretending to cook online, including Martha Stewart (and her molcajete cat) and Gordon Ramsay, who once said dulce de leche tastes like shit (yup he did.)