This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing tool known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline using the #CincoDeMayo hashtag. This has only begun, so, please help me by tweeting me your own personal horrors for 2021 Cinco de Mayo and let the “Mexican” madness begin!
Got extra $40 and no shame? I got the perfect thing for you!
The Nostalgia Taco Tuesday Heated Lazy Susan Topping Bar is a fun way to get together on Taco Tuesday and share hideous, non-taco tacos with your friends. The set costs “only” $39.99 (plus shipping) and promises to hold as much plasticky, fake Mexican food you can imagine!
According to its creators, this thing’s Lazy Susan Design “makes it easy to share across the table” and features a “removable warming pot and topping trays.”
Heck, there’s even a video showing how a “timeless tradition has been made more convenient.”
Multinational fashion chain Zara has done it again. The home products division of the Spanish giant has put some luffa sponges (known in Mexico as zacates) for sale at 299 pesos (about 9.60 U.S. dollars).
As any Mexican knows, these kinds of sponges can be found in any market around Mexico from less than a dollar a pack. The over 2,000% price difference was not lost on Mexican Twitter, which quickly activated the Zara Home Meme machine. The results are… hilarious.
But, what makes this thing a taco? I’m glad you asked! “The taco flavor serves up gyoza nestled in a hot dog bun topped with a spicy sauce with chopped tomatoes, green peppers, onions, and jalapeños and a rich cheese sauce.”
Apparently, White King’s steamed white cake mix is very popular in South East Asia; and it can be yours for only $2.99 in Amazon.com. I can only guess how popular -or not- it will become among Spanish-speakers. Who will be the first to take the challenge?
It’s already that time of the year when –not content with punishing this blogger with a pandemic, a white supremacist attempted coup, frigid temperatures *and* plenty avocado-hipster nonsense– the people behind Avocados From Mexico are once again reminding me of the upcoming, pandemic Super Bowl –and all I need to know about gringo guacamole.
Enter the 2021 Avocados From Mexico’s Guac Bowl, a “digital experience” where people obsessed with avocados can learn all sorts of things, including how to keep their avocados fresh longer for game day, and get rewards from buying avocados and other weird stuff.
Hosted by Troy Aikman and sportscaster Erin Andrews, the Guac Bowl digital experience also offers participants the chance to win “limited-time only avocado gear and weekly prizes of $1,000, as well as the opportunity to enter to win the grand prize of $1 million.”
After urging people to stay home, wear a mask, keep a safe distance from others and avoid going on vacation, Mexico’s coronavirus czar, Hugo López-Gatell, decided to take a maskless beach vacation in Oaxaca, prompting a wave of criticisms among Mexicans and later becoming the nation’s butt of the joke.
A series of photos published this weekend show Dr. López-Gatell seated at an outdoor bar with a female companion in the tourist-friendly beach of Zipolite, Oaxaca. Neither is wearing a mask. Another photo, taken a few days earlier on a crowded flight from Mexico City to the beach resort, López-Gatell is seen talking on a cellphone — again not wearing a mask. The photos quickly went viral on social media.
While the politician’s beach escapade sparked anger, naturally, it also gave rise to some hilarious memes and images that continued to light the Internet well into the new year, because when it comes to quick, witty Internet humor, Mexico sigue siendo el rey.
Here are some of my favorite reactions to López-Gatell’s beach escapade.
On the morning of Dec. 15, as I opened up my email account, I saw a message from Twitter with the following Subject: Your Twitter account has been locked.
My first reaction was –of course– W T F? ¿Qué chingaos hice? and started going through several possible scenarios.
Was it because of my multiple tweets mocking President Trump for having retweeting me once? Or perhaps, someone really important at the New York Times finally blew the whistle on my ongoing critique of their peas-in-guacamole recipe? (Let alone my Twitter bio.) Or…was it a collective denunciation by all those people whom I asked to DELETE THEIR ACCOUNT for not knowing how to eat tamales or make enchiladas?
Self harm? Me? Tweeting about… self harm? Promoting or encouraging suicide? Perhaps, I thought, they misread something I tweeted about ham, not harm. But then I kept scrolling to find the offending tweet, which was not even an original tweet but a response to someone else’s retweet.
Here’s what happened.
On December 13, Montana legislator and former congressional candidate Tom Winter, tweeted his outrage about a piece of news that made a lot of people very angry (me included.)
White House staffers get the vaccine ahead of healthcare workers and my grandma? Are you fucking kidding me? https://t.co/AmsrBKjRm5
I do not follow Winter on Twitter, but my buddy @dcbigjohn does, and this is why I saw the tweet to begin with. My response was brief and as you can see below, it was SUPPOSED TO BE IRONIC.
I guess the Twitter algorithm (assuming it was an algorithm and not a bunch of weird MAGA bots) doesn’t understand irony and doesn’t understand that in all the years I’ve spent on Twitter I have never (not once) promoted or encouraged self-harm. Heck, I’ve even been warning people about avocado hand like forever!
I guess I will remain in Twitter jail until Twitter decides to read up and weigh my appeal. In the meantime, the president of the United States continues to tweet unsubstantiated allegations of fraud and tons of misleading information to millions of people, while my beloved followers will have to live without my very important posts (VIPs) about tacos, tamales, enchiladas and other extremely important virus-related musings.
CVS “truly understands that Hispanic customers are looking for a more personalized shopping experience where they can find their favorite brands at competitive prices, convenient services, and a higher level of customer service in an envirorment [SIC] where they feel at home.”
Well, the General Mills’ owned brand is back in the news, now with the launch of “Tortilla Pockets Kits,” because apparently their target consumers are too dumb to eat a regular taco made with real tortillas.
Tortilla Pockets, say their creators, “are sealed at the bottom to offer a mess-free solution at mealtimes and are ideal for a quick bite on the go.” And, no, this is not a joke. They’re already on sale in England and Australia.
Oh and “food” writers and editors seem to totally dig them!
“Eating tacos is a precarious business. After years of practise, few of us have perfected the fine art of filling a taco and getting it into our mouths without losing half of it to the floor,” writes Erina Starkey, a restaurant and news editor in Australia, which -granted- is not really known for its Mexican gastronomy. “The nifty pocket design provides a perfect cup for filling up with mince, cheese and salad so you never have to worry about dry-cleaning those salsa stains again.”