Category: Stupid propositions

Urban Outfitters Wants you to Hang an Avocado Toast Ornament on your Christmas Tree 🙄

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Avocado-loving hipsters must be stopped before it’s too late

As if the avocado frozen dessert and the avocado Halloween costume weren’t enough, the nonsensical avocado frenzy that is sweeping America off its feet is already feeling the Christmas spirit.

Take the Avocado Toast Christmas Ornament, currently on sale at Urban Outfitters for “only” $10, which makes not only a great gift –says the store– but “it looks so good, you’ll want to take a bit out it!”

I’m pretty sure this thing is Made in China and whatnot, but if I were to hang some ridiculousness on my Christmas tree, I’d rather hang the plasticky glitter bacon thing.

And now seriously: LEAVE AVOCADOS ALONE!

Honda Thinks it’s a Good Idea to Set up a Day of the Dead Altar… in the trunk of your Car

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No, Honda, Mexicans don’t set up Day of the Dead altars in their car.

Corporations would do almost anything to help attract the elusive, trillion-dollar, super-duper cool Hispanic market, including pitching us things that make no sense, like setting up a Day of the Dead altar … in the trunk of our car.

Here’s the thing, Honda. No matter how much you think we love the whole culture around death, we (i.e. the Mexicans) wouldn’t stuff our trunk with pan de muerto, calaveras, cempasúchil and catrinas, because that would be, well, stupid.

So now you know. You are welcome!

Hat tip: @lechancle

Someone Is Peddling a ‘Tamal de Elote’ Candle, Because Why the Hell Not?

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Pardon my French but, WTF is this?

I’m not even on Facebook, but thanks to my loyal followers, I learned there’s some people out there peddling a tamal de elote candle, which promises to fill your room with “the warm aroma of corn and sugar.”

Oh, did I mention is also veggie?

I don’t know about you, but tamales should be left alone where they belong: Inside a warm, big bolillo.

Photo: Oh Comadres Candles on Facebook

Mexican Entrepreneurship Knows No Limits – Green Energy Edition

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Say what you will about my people (i.e. The Mexicans) but they’re just always striving for a better country –and planet.

Take the latest narcotunnel, found on the U.S.-Mexico border, which not only features awesome ventilation and lighting, but works with –wait for it– solar energy.

Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?

Dispatch from Guanatos: Óscar Gutierrez

Netflix Readies Show about Rich, Scandinavian-looking Mexicans 🙄

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What could possibly go wrong?

I’m sure at this point you’re well aware of Mexico’s Scandinavian-looking talent, the ones that get all the TV gigs and –unsurprisingly– hail from FRFs (Filthy Rich Families.)

Add one more to the list, as Netflix this week will premiere Made in Mexico, its first reality series about, well, rich, white Mexicans.

Produced by a non-Mexican production company (Love Productions USA,) Made in Mexico seeks to “cast a light on Mexico City’s wealthy families and their opulent lifestyles as it trails nine socialites.”

Made in Mexico debuts September 28 in all territories where Netflix is available and this blogger will be watching –of course.

Via: CNET en Español

 

Michael Kors Embraces Mexican ‘Jergas’ –Because Fashion

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Move over, Amazon’s Deluxe Yoga Mat… here comes the Michael Kors jerga-inspired sweater, making its debut this week at New York’s Fashion Week.

You might think this is, like, wow, but if you happen to be Mexican, chances are you’ve either worn one of these or saw it at your local tianguis for about… 10 pesitos.

The only good news is that Mexican Twitter isn’t having any of this:

Via: Huffington Post Mexico

Topeka Preps Taco-Themed Summer Event, Because what Else Is there to Do in Topeka?

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Non-Mexicans craft inflatable ‘taco’ to go with their summer taco event and Chihuahua beauty pageant in Topeka.

What to do this summer in Topeka?

ANSWER: Attend a taco-themed festival *and* Chihuahua beauty pageant –of course!

And this will be possible thanks to Zach Haney, founder of Carnival Guy, a party rental supplier focusing on inflatable surfaces, who decided to launch Taco Topia, a taco-themed summer event filled with inflatable stuff –and most likely awful tacos.

Per an inexplicably long news article:

“Taco Topia will be held in two separate sessions, from noon to 3 to p.m. and from 5 to 8 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 11  for crowd control and to keep taco wait times short.”

But if veggie and curry tacos (inflatable or otherwise) are not “Mexican” enough for you, Taco Topia will also feature a Chihuahua beauty pageant, because why pass the opportunity to throw yet one more thing real Mexicans never do?

Luckily for this blogger, this event will take place on the very same day I’ll be taking a very long flight to go spend summer in a very very far away place…

Via: The Topeka Capital Journal

In Preparation for Trump-Kim Summit, Singapore Vows to Make Tacos Great Again!

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Singapore’s Lucha Loco will be selling specialty tacos called “El Gringo” and “El Hombre Cohete,” in honor of the two locos that will meet there on June 12.

You know Singapore has a very special place in my heart, and just as I purchased my ticket to attend a historic high-school reunion this summer, another “seemingly important” reunion is taking place next week: A summit between U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, or as this blogger likes to call it: A meeting between two loquitos with huge egos.

Unsurprisingly, the upcoming reunion (theirs, not mine) is already shaping up to be a very loco experience.

Take Singapore’s Mexican restaurant Lucha Loco, which is promising to “make tacos great again” by selling specialty tacos called “El Gringo” and “El Hombre Cohete” (Rocket Man.) “The former has the flavors of an American cheeseburger, while the latter is packed with Korean fried chicken,” executive chef Nelson Burgos told The Associated Press.

If a Korean fried chicken taco is not your thing, the restaurant will also be offering customers the chance to smash piñatas shaped as caricatures of the two leaders, which –you know?– might be a very therapeutic idea to be honest.

Muy loco!

Via: AP

 

Thalía’s New Single Is Now Available on –Where Else?– Spotify’s ‘Latino Caliente’ Playlist

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Dominican Latina meets Mexican Latina for a Latino Caliente Connection!

And just when I thought Thalía had retired and/or decided to dedicate her free time tending to her kids and her fancy Manhattan life and such, she has taken over my Twitter timeline to pitch her new reggaeton single.

Titled No me acuerdo (I Don’t Remember) this “thing” is a collaboration with Dominican singer Natti Natasha and it can be found on Spotify’s Latino Caliente playlist –because where else?

Go ahead and listen if you dare. It sounds exactly like what you’d expect from a Latino Caliente thing.

 

Good News, Mexicans! Republicans Will Crowdfund the Wall

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It’s no secret that my people (i.e. The Mexicans) are busy trying to pick one president out of a pathetic choice of four candidates, so we haven’t really thought about that other little pendiente of ours: Saving up to pay for Donald Trump’s border wall.

But it looks like this will not be our problem anymore. Rep. Diane Black (R-Tenn) has introduced the Border Wall Trust Fund Act, which would “allow the secretary of the Treasury to accept public donations to fund the construction of a barrier on the border between the United States and Mexico, and for other purposes.” Think of something like a Kickstarter for haters.

Black (who is running for governor of Tennessee) recently told Fox News that she would like to see Mexico pay for “the structure,” but at least for now, crowdfunding will have to do.

So, grassy ass, señorita Black! Tacos are on me!

Via: The Hill

Starbucks, Now Serving Coffee with a Dash of Racism

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I’ll have a Venti with room for racism

Paisanos BEWARE!

Next time you go to a Starbucks and order a venti, tall, mocha, latte, foamy frapuccino (or whatever the hell it is they call a coffee over there) make sure to leave some room for … racism.

In the latest episode involving the coffee chain and a non-white person, a Latino customer says that when he received his drink, it came with the word BEANER written on it –even though he clearly told them his name was Pedro, which apparently is synonym of “Mexican.”

I’m not entirely sure why, but these type of “incidents” are happening more and more frequently in this melting pot we call America. Perhaps it’s just part of the whole process of making it GREAT AGAIN. 🤔

Via: USA Today

The Deportation Bus Might be My Free Ticket Back to Mexicou!

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Photo by Ana Clavel on Facebook

If you thought American politicians had run out of ideas to get rid of those pesky Mexicans, think again.

I give you The Deportation Bus, a moving campaign ad for GOP Georgia governor candidate Michael Williams, who is running on a promise of getting rid of all “those illegals.”

According to The Hill:

“We’re not just going to track them and watch them roam around our state,” Williams says. “We’re going to put them on this bus and send ‘em home.”

I mean, I’m not precisely an “illegal,” but given the current political here, a free ride back to Mexico doesn’t sound like a really bad idea right now.

Quick! Grab your Maracas and Go Get Yourself a pair of Cinco de Mayo Air Jordans!

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Cinco de Mayo Air Jordans, because why the hell not?

Sneaker retailer Sneaker Bar Detroit can’t wait for Cinco de Mayo, so it’s now peddling a bunch of very colorful Air Jordans… so colorful, they will perfectly match your maracas.

Because nothing says Mexicou better than Air Jordans and … colorful sneakers.

¡Ándale, ándale, arriba, arriba!

Via: Sneaker Bar Detroit on Twitter