German Madrazo, the 43-year-old Mexican who had NEVER skied until last year, finished last in Friday’s 15km cross country competition at the Olympic Games at the PyeongChang’s Winter Olympics in South Korea.
See? It’s all true what our abuelas used to say: It doesn’t matter if you’re first –or last– the most important is to compete… *and* wave a huge Mexican flag while you’re at it.
¡Viva México, cabrones! y ¡Ajúa!
Mexican cross-country skier German Madrazo crossed the finish line last, but he was all smiles as he did it proudly carrying his nation’s flag. ❤ pic.twitter.com/8qILNmFjyE
Want to say I love you, but you’re shy and/or not sure how to go about it?
Worry not. Tex-Taco, a taquería in Katy [SIC] Texas, has a very romantic, albeit expensive, solution: A $20 heart-shaped quesadilla, most likely the quickest way to your lover’s panza, I mean, heart.
What follows is an ACTUAL press release sent out today to Latino journos and bloggers, probably because we love to write about disgusting things that “sound” Latin (I know I do.)
I’m not even going to try to analyze this. I’m just filing it under the “crime,” “guácala,” and “stupid propositions,” categories.
Avocados from Mexico is back on the Super Bowl advertising game with #GuacWorld, its latest TV commercial that is scheduled to make its official debut Sunday, Feb. 4, 2018 during the Big Game in Minneapolis.
The spot imagines a domed paradise called GuacWorld, where everything is perfect, with serene music, free massages, wellness gurus —and all the guacamole you can eat. But there’s one problem: The chips are outside… OUTSIDE! so everyone freaks out and mayhem ensues.
Luckily, a breakthrough revelation happens: Avocados and guacamole can be used in hamburgers, salads, sliders and, of course, toast…
The spot is not nearly as adorable as that of 2015 (remember the polar bear clad in mariachi gear voting for Mexico?) but it does a good job highlighting the ridiculousness of what the human race has become –in light of the avocado craze. WATCH.
Add jalapeños to the long list of grievances against my people (i.e. The Mexicans.)
In the latest episode of a trade war brewing between Mexico and the European Union, Mexican producers of chile peppers are asking the UE for protection of fresh jalapeño chiles –and those that undergo smoking (ie. delicious chipotles.)
The problem?
Chiles from Turkey are sold in Europe with a label showing a jalapeño pepper wearing a Mexican hat, said Jesús Murillo González, but do not state the country of origin. “They’re not saying it’s from here, but they’re riding the coattails of Mexico’s prestige.”
Hey, I’m totally cool with countries riding the coattails of Mexico’s prestige but… putting a sombrero over a jalapeño?! That’s simply unacceptable –and an insult to our 1986 beloved FIFA mascot
From the always-creative #SpanishFail Texas signs and advertisements, comes the “Corazon [sic] Latino Dance Fitness” in Austin, where you can go dance until you lose not one, nor two, but 20 “bolas!”…
It might not be El Chapo’s original t-shirt, but this cozy sweatshirt will surely come in handy for the chilling temperatures hitting America these days. Oh, and if chapowear is not your thing, go with the Pablo Escobar one instead. It will go fantastic with this colorful baseball hat I found in my hood.
The Mayor of Ixhuatlancillo is a huge fan of ‘The Avengers,’ apparently.
I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
Turns out the Mayor of the mostly indigenous town of Ixhuatlancillo, Veracruz, has spent several thousands of pesitos to build –and erect– several statues honoring members of The Avengers and The Justice League.
It should be noted that the town doesn’t even have a movie theatre and (I’m pretty sure) there are more urgent stuff to take care of. But, who the hell cares? When it comes to surreal politics, MEXICO IS THE SHIT!
Delfín Hasta el Fin, Wendy Sulca and La Tigresa de Oriente want you to go dance in Israel.
With president Donald Trump’s “bold, historic decision” to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, this blogger could not help but reminisce over that other bold, historic –and truly bizarre– move made by three of Latin America’s tackiest stars to help praise Israel as an awesome tourist destination, and not a place one should be afraid of because of the killings and all.
En tus tierras bailaré (In Your Land I Will Dance) features Andean superstars La Tigresa del Oriente, Wendy Sulca and Delfín Hasta el Fin, and while it was released in 2010, it continues to gain popularity. At the time of this writing, the video had gone way over the 4.6 million views on YouTube.
I’m not sure how these three got together to help promote tourism in Israel, but I must admit the chorus is quite catchy.
How pretty Israel is!
Israel, Israel
In your lands one day I’ll dance.
On her solo, Wendy Sulca praises Tel Aviv as a camel (yes, a camel) walks past her band while she sings: In Tel Aviv, I will love you, I will love you very much…
Yup, that’s a camel back there.
Just WATCH and behold the Andean costumes, the changing landscapes and the ebullient dancing in this, the campiest music video you’ll ever see.
For more insights to the above video, and background of these Andean artists, read Alma Guillermoprieto’s wonderful take here.
If a group of Mexican scientists have their way, we will be seeing the Mexican flag on the surface of the Moon very, very soon.
No, really.
According to a very reliable source I’ve never heard of, a group of scientists from Mexico’s National Autonomous University (UNAM) is working on deploying eight small robots that will eventually set foot on the surface of the Moon as soon as 2019. Once there, they say, they will do the most obvious thing one does when getting there: PLANT A FREAKING FLAG!
But that will only be the beginning, I’m told. Sources close to the project assure me the next phase will be even more exciting: A taquería!
The California Loaded Fries Burrito in all its awful glory.
If you freaked out when you read the news about Taco Bell’s chocolate-flavored pubic lice, you’ll definitely want to hear about the chain’s next outrageous proposition:
Introducing The California Loaded Fries Burrito, a burrito stuffed with –yes, you guessed it!– french fries and other things, including ground “beef” as the protein of choice, nacho cheese and sour cream.
According to multiple sources, these abominations cost $1.99 apiece and –thankfully– can only be found as a test item at locations in Charleston, West Virginia.
I’m so sorry for you, West Virginians. We’ll keep you in my prayers.
These ‘things’ you see here are Turkeritos: Yep, turkey ‘tacos’
Taco Bell’s Friendsgiving menu is so ridiculous, it’s actually funny. Among my faves: The turkeritos; the pumpkin spice caramel apple empanadas; the chocolate churros with chile ancho and –of course– the butternut squash chalupa bites.
Fortunately for ALL of us, Taco Bell’s annual Friendsgiving meal was only available last week and it was only for VIP’s at the company’s headquarters.
It is that time of the year, when everybody wants to go out and look weird or ethnic, which is pretty much the same thing judging from some U.S. retailers’ websites.
Meet the “Zapata Hat,” a colorful sombrero by CostumeCraze that will make any botoxed blond with fake boobs and a pink barbie cape look like Adelita herself.
‘Cuando conocí al Chapo’ premieres Oct. 20 on Netflix.’
Not content with giving us plenty of drug-dealing action, first with a series about “Columbia’s” infamous narco Pablo Escobar, and then with the rebroadcast of Univision’s El Chapo, Netflix is at it again, this time with a “Docu-Series” starred and produced by Mexican actress Kate del Castillo.
Cuando conocí al Chapo has been produced by 25/7 Productions and Kate del Castillo Productions, and it will make its worldwide debut Oct. 20, 2017 on Netflix.
A first trailer was released today and features previously unseen footage about Del Castillo’s meeting with the notorious drug lord. The clip opens with Kate reading the first letter El Chapo sent her, while later she discusses the journey to meet him. “We didn’t know anything,” del Castillo says. “We didn’t know what was going to happen or where we were going. I got out of the car. I knew it was him. El Chapo sat right next to me. I was very scared.”
I don’t know you, but I prefer these two in piñata form.
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