Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
President Donald Trump on Tuesday made his first visit to Puerto Rico, two weeks after Hurricane Maria devastated the U.S. territory.
During a visit to a local church, Trump tossed paper towels, batteries and rice, among other goods into a crowd as if he were some kind of NBA-trained Marie Antoinette or something.
I’m literally speechless and there’s nothing else I need to say now. JUST WATCH.
Video via: El Nuevo Día
Marketers are one restless bunch.
Not content with giving us National Taco *and* Vodka Day, National Guacamole Day, Cinco de Mayo and all those wonderful faux culinary celebrations, a California brand of canned “Mexican food” informs me we’re in the midst of National Menudo Month.
Per Juanita’s Food:
Turns out there is so much to celebrate, that the brand in question is launching a national competition to find the BEST MENUDO RECIPE — and to crown the King/Queen of Menudo in two states!
According to the rules of this solemn competition, participants are being asked to bring their homemade menudo to one of the 6 regional menudo tasting events in Texas and California.
The homemade menudo winner in each city will get a $1,000 prize, which should be enough to buy the new iPhone X (without a protective case, that is) –or dozens of Juanita’s Food spicy canned menudo on Amazon.com.
So, now you know.
Enjoy National Menudo Month while I go hang myself.
I don’t know about you, but I do take national holidays very seriously, especially when it comes to drinking and eating like there’s no tomorrow.
So, in celebration of my relatively recent double-citizenship bonanza and the upcoming anniversary of Mexico’s Independence, this blogger will be pulling all her U.S.-based resources to list the very best stuff you can buy/do on THIS SIDE of the border so you feel as if you were on the OTHER side of the border.
Now… I’ll be posting some actual goodies later this week (I’m exhausted, you know?), but for now, I’d like to kick off this year’s festivities with the colorful invite (above) I just received from the Mexican Consulate in New York, which makes it clear our Ángel de la Independencia is as tall as the Empire State Building *and* the Freedom Tower themselves.
So there you go, suckers, ¡Viva México, cabrones!
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m sure you are aware that Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai was in Mexico this week as part of a larger “humanitarian” world tour.
On Thursday, while in Mexico, Malala spoke at the Technological Institute of Monterrey in Mexico City and met president Enrique Peña Nieto, who proudly tweeted a picture of the meeting.
Sooner than you can say “infraschorchor,” Mexicans took to Twitter to do what we do best: To mock our fearless leader.
Here are only a few of the tweets that made my Thursday –and still are helping me get through Friday.
IT’S MALUMA NOT MALALA
EL MEJOR 👇🏼 pic.twitter.com/SFzHySUySc
— Risco (@jrisco) 1 de septiembre de 2017
LET’S SING ALONG
– Entonces, mira, después de que yo canto “Malala” tú dices “Lalalong, long long li long long long”. pic.twitter.com/X03FaZIoDC
— 👺 Tanooki Kamikaze (@zomwalruss) 1 de septiembre de 2017
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… EYEROLL
– …
– 🙄 pic.twitter.com/0ZOvhnvrmj— Edgar G Pichardo 💡 (@ElDeCreativo) 1 de septiembre de 2017
IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?
—¡¿CÓMO QUE NO SALES EN LA PASTORELA?!
— pic.twitter.com/vbTsxFc3Jp— fernando delaflor (@F3rn) 1 de septiembre de 2017
OUCH
“Aquí todas las mujeres tienen derecho a la educación. Mientras lleguen vivas a la edad adulta. Pero bueno, me estoy desviando”. pic.twitter.com/VZlcj91cp7
— Hara Kitty (@InfantaSinalefa) 1 de septiembre de 2017t
THURSDAY
Jueves con sed de la malala. pic.twitter.com/ru4i83hFAR
— fernando delaflor (@F3rn) 31 de agosto de 2017
OUCH II
Ella estuvo a punto de perder la vida por querer ir a la escuela.
Él plagió su tesis y es incapaz de nombrar 3 libros.@Malala y @EPN pic.twitter.com/2cCADgg8MO
— OSWALDO RÍOS 🌐 (@OSWALDORIOSM) 1 de septiembre de 2017
KEEPING HER DISTANCE
Malala pidió no acercarse mucho a EPN porque cree que la #corrupción es una enfermedad contagiosa en México. pic.twitter.com/5G63OX4jAI
— Guruchuirer (@guruchuirer) 1 de septiembre de 2017
I was spending way too much time roaming around Latino neighborhoods in New York City looking for Colombian Jeans Levanta Cola* (aka butt-lifting jeans). But then I found out Amazon.com has an an entire section of these, some of which even promise to “compress your tummy and delineate your waist.”
So, yay and grassy ass, Amazon!
*For a friend, you know?
Not Photoshop. Not an Internet meme. This is the actual front page of today’s sports section of Reforma, one of Mexico’s largest daily newspapers. In case you were wondering, the “white supremacy” (in this instance) is that of the Real Madrid after it beat Barcelona 2-0 on Wednesday night. They wear white uniforms, get it? Ha Ha Ha.
Anyway, I believe I don’t need to tell you how timely the above headline is as it comes on the heels of the deadly mass riots organized by white nationalists — and self-described Neo-nazis — in Charlottesville, Virginia this past weekend.
Good job, Reforma… [SIGH]
Hat tip: @jrisco
And just when I thought life couldn’t be more miserable, Taco Bell today announced the national rollout of the “Naked Egg Taco,” a “thing” that for a while was only available to the poor souls of Flint, Michigan.
“The Naked Egg Taco strips down the traditional breakfast taco, allowing us to deliver a new flavor experience in every single bite,” said Liz Matthews, Chief Food Innovation Officer at Taco Bell Corp, apparently with a straight face.
In case you were wondering, this “thing” is filled with fried potatoes, cheese, sausage or bacon and will roll out nationwide on August 31 at a bargain price of $1.99.
OK. Send in the nukes, people, I’m ready…
I have no idea what this salon is up to, but in addition to a “refrigerio” Wednesday, they’re offering to implant you with the hair of an Indian virgin — for some reason.
Photo: Jessica Solt Inwood, NYC
This is Guadalupe Loaeza, a member of Mexico’s so-called intellectual elite who decided to celebrate her 71 birthday by repeatedly stabbing a Donald Trump piñata in her backyard — and proudly tweeting about it.
In case you’re wondering, Loaeza is a Mexican writer who became famous by chronicling the Mexican bourgeoisie (a group she knows well, because she belongs to it, of course.)
For reasons I fail to comprehend, she has been awarded the distinction of Chevalier from the Légion d’Honneur of France and written many books that I’ve successfully managed to avoid.
Watch. Learn from this. Do not repeat…. SIGH.
Mexican immigrants are not precisely popular these days –and I’m pretty sure we’ll all get deported real soon. But local mariachis are making their way to the world of high fashion, thanks in part to Kate Spade New York.
The brand has tapped the all-female mariachi band Flor de Toloache to tout its “timeless — and timely — collection,” which is full of “cute cultural references” and is now available on Kate Spade’s Website.*
WATCH as the all-female band gets on the [FAILING] New York City subway while model Fernanda Ly walks in sporting a “lace-trimmed flouncy dresses” and a handbag that features a tiny burrito or something weird like that.
*Alas, the fabulous black charro suits are not part of the collection’s offering.
Hat tip: @begona_lozano
Who cares if switching to Geico can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance?
If I were to have a car — or live in Texas — (both very unlikely scenarios) I’d totally call Jim Adler, aka El Martillo Tejano, who promises to protect my people (i.e. The Hispanics) from sleazy insurance companies and give us the most compensation possible in case of a car accident.
Watch Adler inform us about his services in the best Gringo-Spanish I’ve heard in a while.
Take it away Jim!
From the online retailer that brought us the Mexican Deluxe Yoga Mat, the Hispanic Flag and — of course — the DIY Tacos al pastor, now comes the Baja Inca Blanket Steering Wheel Cover Plush Poncho , an “ethnic, fun, fashionable” wheel cover for your pimped up lowrider!
Because everybody knows the Incas from Baja California are one colorful driving bunch, right?
Hat tip: @SaraChicaD
WATCH Luis Fonsi explains the origins of Despacito to non-Latin person Vanessa Yurkevich of CNN.
Video via: CNN
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